Family Law (30)
I could say lots, Sommer. From my own personal experience as well as professionally. I recently did a Family Court related report on a couple of young girls (sisters) I assessed. They are being thrown from pillar to post, and some very interesting results. Received a text message from their mother(both parties have remarried now) to say the father still refuses to acknowledge any problem despite my report. He is wielding power and control at the expense of his children. I expect the results will be presented in court proceedings, which will mean the children will continue to suffer within the current arrangements while other evidence is amassed. I'm afraid that is the basis of many disputes, we all know that. The children end up being the pawns in the middle of adult battles.
A huge area, Sommer. Happy to tell you about Family Law in our country, Many changes in the last few years. We now have no blame legislation in divorce proceedings.
Must get to bed now.
A huge area, Sommer. Happy to tell you about Family Law in our country, Many changes in the last few years. We now have no blame legislation in divorce proceedings.
Must get to bed now.
venere08: I could say lots, Sommer. From my own personal experience as well as professionally. I recently did a Family Court related report on a couple of young girls (sisters) I assessed. They are being thrown from pillar to post, and some very interesting results. Received a text message from their mother(both parties have remarried now) to say the father still refuses to acknowledge any problem despite my report. He is wielding power and control at the expense of his children. I expect the results will be presented in court proceedings, which will mean the children will continue to suffer within the current arrangements while other evidence is amassed. I'm afraid that is the basis of many disputes, we all know that. The children end up being the pawns in the middle of adult battles.
A huge area, Sommer. Happy to tell you about Family Law in our country, Many changes in the last few years. We now have no blame legislation in divorce proceedings.
Must get to bed now.
A huge area, Sommer. Happy to tell you about Family Law in our country, Many changes in the last few years. We now have no blame legislation in divorce proceedings.
Must get to bed now.
Sleep well.
Sad isn't it? I do not think people do understand how they damage their children, but I also believe that many courts, especially in the UK, are not able to handle the more difficult cases, they slip through the net and children, as a result are damaged.
I get so mad, when I hear stories, especially when a woman prevents a father from seeing his child/children because he does not pay any money for them.
Now that really drives me to the point of losing my rag and that is what has happened, in the research that I have found. Child contact and child support payments are two separate issues and should be dealt with as such.
Hopefully, we can discuss this more. Also there are an increasing number of mothers without their children, which soceity still look down their noses on.
I think Irish law is not much better than English to read newspaper articles about it.
Sommerauer71: Sleep well.
Sad isn't it? I do not think people do understand how they damage their children, but I also believe that many courts, especially in the UK, are not able to handle the more difficult cases, they slip through the net and children, as a result are damaged.
I get so mad, when I hear stories, especially when a woman prevents a father from seeing his child/children because he does not pay any money for them.
Now that really drives me to the point of losing my rag and that is what has happened, in the research that I have found. Child contact and child support payments are two separate issues and should be dealt with as such.
Hopefully, we can discuss this more. Also there are an increasing number of mothers without their children, which soceity still look down their noses on.
Sad isn't it? I do not think people do understand how they damage their children, but I also believe that many courts, especially in the UK, are not able to handle the more difficult cases, they slip through the net and children, as a result are damaged.
I get so mad, when I hear stories, especially when a woman prevents a father from seeing his child/children because he does not pay any money for them.
Now that really drives me to the point of losing my rag and that is what has happened, in the research that I have found. Child contact and child support payments are two separate issues and should be dealt with as such.
Hopefully, we can discuss this more. Also there are an increasing number of mothers without their children, which soceity still look down their noses on.
Well Sommer, I can tell you I have experience of the UK legal system in the 1990's, and the fact that he payed no child support had absolutely no mention in the court proceedings regarding access/visitations etc....
and yes.. the child is who suffered..
GreenTassels: the fact that he payed no child support had absolutely no mention in the court proceedings regarding access/visitations etc....
Yes, the two are treated as mutually exclusive here in Australia, too.
venere08: I could say lots, Sommer. From my own personal experience as well as professionally. I recently did a Family Court related report on a couple of young girls (sisters) I assessed. They are being thrown from pillar to post, and some very interesting results. Received a text message from their mother(both parties have remarried now) to say the father still refuses to acknowledge any problem despite my report. He is wielding power and control at the expense of his children. I expect the results will be presented in court proceedings, which will mean the children will continue to suffer within the current arrangements while other evidence is amassed. I'm afraid that is the basis of many disputes, we all know that. The children end up being the pawns in the middle of adult battles.
A huge area, Sommer. Happy to tell you about Family Law in our country, Many changes in the last few years. We now have no blame legislation in divorce proceedings.
Must get to bed now.
A huge area, Sommer. Happy to tell you about Family Law in our country, Many changes in the last few years. We now have no blame legislation in divorce proceedings.
Must get to bed now.
-and same story here in Switzerland. I know of a case where a father got acquitted of child molestation, but the court ruling states clearly that he has most likely commited the acts the then 5 year old reported him to have done..(including the reports from the social worker, the report from several psychlogists, the opinion of the police officer who did the questioning, and the investigating judges opinion. All agree that they think he is guilty).- but the law is such that if a minor reports these things, there is a smidgen of doubt.. so he gets aquitted.
He is now applying for visitation rights.
(And of course, he hasnt payed child support for years..)
Does that sound like justice to you?
Needless to say the kid is totally messed up,- by having to go through all that reporting/questionning, as well as trying to sort out what the hell the dad is up to!! The kid needs protecting, urgently, but the legal system here is pro men, no doubt about it.
It is my considered opinion, that the UK justice system can at least still apply a modecum of common sense..(in comparison)
GreenTassels: -and same story here in Switzerland. I know of a case where a father got acquitted of child molestation, but the court ruling states clearly that he has most likely commited the acts the then 5 year old reported him to have done..(including the reports from the social worker, the report from several psychlogists, the opinion of the police officer who did the questioning, and the investigating judges opinion. All agree that they think he is guilty).- but the law is such that if a minor reports these things, there is a smidgen of doubt.. so he gets aquitted.
He is now applying for visitation rights.
(And of course, he hasnt payed child support for years..)
Does that sound like justice to you?
Needless to say the kid is totally messed up,- by having to go through all that reporting/questionning, as well as trying to sort out what the hell the dad is up to!! The kid needs protecting, urgently, but the legal system here is pro men, no doubt about it.
It is my considered opinion, that the UK justice system can at least still apply a modecum of common sense..(in comparison)
He is now applying for visitation rights.
(And of course, he hasnt payed child support for years..)
Does that sound like justice to you?
Needless to say the kid is totally messed up,- by having to go through all that reporting/questionning, as well as trying to sort out what the hell the dad is up to!! The kid needs protecting, urgently, but the legal system here is pro men, no doubt about it.
It is my considered opinion, that the UK justice system can at least still apply a modecum of common sense..(in comparison)
Family Law has recently changed here in Australia. I went to a seminar the other week and the psychologist pointed out that that the judge treats what the child tells the psychologist, as fact, and what an adult tells the p, as 'heresay', which can be cross examined under oath. Some changes work well, others leave your scratching your head, totally perplexed. People can sue us very people who are requested to assist, at the drop of a hat. Never has the written word been so critically important.
In response to: For many years, I was in a residency battle with my ex husband over our children. This was in the United Kingdom.
It was only when I took a step back from the battle, as the children were completely bewildered that I realised how poor UK family law is.
.
It was only when I took a step back from the battle, as the children were completely bewildered that I realised how poor UK family law is.
.
HI Sommerauer71
this is an interesting thread !...sounds like you've been through a lot !
this is a thread that i feel i can learnt a lot from !
not that i think that i'll ever go through again for access ( well i hope not ..the first time almost killed me ) !
but what i learnt from it is that its all geared up against the man in the woman's favour ,,,and is all a con as well !
i was told by my lawyer before it all started and i spent thousands fighting just to be a father to my one and only child whilst still loving his mother after we just split up
" make your mind up sir from now you either want the woman or just want to be a father to the child ? ? ? ? ?
because if still love the woman you loose the court case for access.. because you could become a problem in the eyes of the law if the woman says that she no longer loves you and does'nt want you be a part of her life anymore
but then she might let you see your kid without always fighting in and out of court !
or if you say that no longer love the woman and just want to see the kid ...then we can win the case for you saying
MY CLIENT HAS NO INTEREST OR ARGUMENT WITH THE WOMAN WHAT SO EVER ...HE JUST WANTS TO SEE THE CHILD
" and thats how we won the court case whilst they came out with endless lies and arguments to stop me seeing the child which fighting them would have costed a fortune
" no arguments just want to see the child your worships "
she was furious when she lost the case on the grounds of me having no interests in her what so ever ( which we both knew was'nt true ) !
and still carried on fighting in the high court this time
BECAUSE HER MUM AND DAD ALWAYS GOT BACK TOGETHER AGAIN BY FIGHTING IN AND OUT OF DIVORCE COURTS
with her man always saying " this mans no good i want a divorce and stop this no good man seeing our two children "
with the father like a fool spending all of his money always going to court saying "" i don't want a divorce I LOVE THIS WOMAN ...AND MY TWO CHILDREN "
whilst f**king up the two kids and wasting all their money on lawyers with their silly games
they're still together by the way after nearly 60 years and decided to get us into fighting in and out of court because they did'nt like their daughters new boyfriend ..because they said that they found him boring and said preferred the real father to the child
my advice to anybody thats thinking of getting into all is DON'T
its better you can avoid it by walking away from it all for a while... and coming when on more friendly terms once every things cool down a bit
because you end up giving all your money to lawyers..and end up further apart than you first started in my opinion
venere08: I could say lots, Sommer. From my own personal experience as well as professionally. I recently did a Family Court related report on a couple of young girls (sisters) I assessed. They are being thrown from pillar to post, and some very interesting results. Received a text message from their mother(both parties have remarried now) to say the father still refuses to acknowledge any problem despite my report. He is wielding power and control at the expense of his children. I expect the results will be presented in court proceedings, which will mean the children will continue to suffer within the current arrangements while other evidence is amassed. I'm afraid that is the basis of many disputes, we all know that. The children end up being the pawns in the middle of adult battles.
A huge area, Sommer. Happy to tell you about Family Law in our country, Many changes in the last few years. We now have no blame legislation in divorce proceedings.
Must get to bed now.
A huge area, Sommer. Happy to tell you about Family Law in our country, Many changes in the last few years. We now have no blame legislation in divorce proceedings.
Must get to bed now.
hi venere !
Hi Gilly.
It is a myth that courts favour mothers. Truly it is. My argument is that the more difficult cases are allowed to spiral out of control. If a father fights for access then he will get it out, many fathers think that they would not stand a chance.
The risk is that the child/children is alienated against the other parent. Some women, refuse to allow a child to see the father because of child support. If the man has no money, he has no money.
Family Law is a very tricky, delicate area. It is badly flawed, because of how parents do alienate children from the other parent and courts refuse to see this. In fact, I would go as far to say that courts allow families to erode, loving relationships are destroyed, children are interviewed by a court welfare officer and that is reported to the court. A child can say that he/she does not want to see the other parent, the court will accept that. And whilst children have a say, of course they should, the current system should look at why a child says this, especially when it was a natural loving relationship.
Somewhere, the system should be changed, Gilly, you are British, you must be aware of the campaign group, Fathers4Justice, whilst I do not agree with their ethics, I agree with what they are campaigning for, which is to bring families back together. There are many people who are members of this organisation, not just men, grandparents, aunts and uncles.
Child access and child support are two separate matters. And should be treated as such.
And because of the way the child support system is managed, that it is worked out pro rata, ie on how many days a child will spend with a parent, then people are fuelled by money. So they try to malign the other parent in child access cases, so that they do have the child more days, hence they can claim child support.
In my own case, we agreed 50/50, no money changed hands, I pay for 50% of the costs, as does their father.
Some months I pay more, certainly when he had another child, his outgoings were higher than mine, so I paid more of the school fees. The finanical commitments do not change, yet people spend years fighting over access because of money.
Where is that helping the children?
It is a myth that courts favour mothers. Truly it is. My argument is that the more difficult cases are allowed to spiral out of control. If a father fights for access then he will get it out, many fathers think that they would not stand a chance.
The risk is that the child/children is alienated against the other parent. Some women, refuse to allow a child to see the father because of child support. If the man has no money, he has no money.
Family Law is a very tricky, delicate area. It is badly flawed, because of how parents do alienate children from the other parent and courts refuse to see this. In fact, I would go as far to say that courts allow families to erode, loving relationships are destroyed, children are interviewed by a court welfare officer and that is reported to the court. A child can say that he/she does not want to see the other parent, the court will accept that. And whilst children have a say, of course they should, the current system should look at why a child says this, especially when it was a natural loving relationship.
Somewhere, the system should be changed, Gilly, you are British, you must be aware of the campaign group, Fathers4Justice, whilst I do not agree with their ethics, I agree with what they are campaigning for, which is to bring families back together. There are many people who are members of this organisation, not just men, grandparents, aunts and uncles.
Child access and child support are two separate matters. And should be treated as such.
And because of the way the child support system is managed, that it is worked out pro rata, ie on how many days a child will spend with a parent, then people are fuelled by money. So they try to malign the other parent in child access cases, so that they do have the child more days, hence they can claim child support.
In my own case, we agreed 50/50, no money changed hands, I pay for 50% of the costs, as does their father.
Some months I pay more, certainly when he had another child, his outgoings were higher than mine, so I paid more of the school fees. The finanical commitments do not change, yet people spend years fighting over access because of money.
Where is that helping the children?
Sommerauer71: Hi Gilly.
It is a myth that courts favour mothers. Truly it is. My argument is that the more difficult cases are allowed to spiral out of control. If a father fights for access then he will get it out, many fathers think that they would not stand a chance.
The risk is that the child/children is alienated against the other parent. Some women, refuse to allow a child to see the father because of child support. If the man has no money, he has no money.
Family Law is a very tricky, delicate area. It is badly flawed, because of how parents do alienate children from the other parent and courts refuse to see this. In fact, I would go as far to say that courts allow families to erode, loving relationships are destroyed, children are interviewed by a court welfare officer and that is reported to the court. A child can say that he/she does not want to see the other parent, the court will accept that. And whilst children have a say, of course they should, the current system should look at why a child says this, especially when it was a natural loving relationship.
Somewhere, the system should be changed, Gilly, you are British, you must be aware of the campaign group, Fathers4Justice, whilst I do not agree with their ethics, I agree with what they are campaigning for, which is to bring families back together. There are many people who are members of this organisation, not just men, grandparents, aunts and uncles.
Child access and child support are two separate matters. And should be treated as such.
And because of the way the child support system is managed, that it is worked out pro rata, ie on how many days a child will spend with a parent, then people are fuelled by money. So they try to malign the other parent in child access cases, so that they do have the child more days, hence they can claim child support.
In my own case, we agreed 50/50, no money changed hands, I pay for 50% of the costs, as does their father.
Some months I pay more, certainly when he had another child, his outgoings were higher than mine, so I paid more of the school fees. The finanical commitments do not change, yet people spend years fighting over access because of money.
Where is that helping the children?
It is a myth that courts favour mothers. Truly it is. My argument is that the more difficult cases are allowed to spiral out of control. If a father fights for access then he will get it out, many fathers think that they would not stand a chance.
The risk is that the child/children is alienated against the other parent. Some women, refuse to allow a child to see the father because of child support. If the man has no money, he has no money.
Family Law is a very tricky, delicate area. It is badly flawed, because of how parents do alienate children from the other parent and courts refuse to see this. In fact, I would go as far to say that courts allow families to erode, loving relationships are destroyed, children are interviewed by a court welfare officer and that is reported to the court. A child can say that he/she does not want to see the other parent, the court will accept that. And whilst children have a say, of course they should, the current system should look at why a child says this, especially when it was a natural loving relationship.
Somewhere, the system should be changed, Gilly, you are British, you must be aware of the campaign group, Fathers4Justice, whilst I do not agree with their ethics, I agree with what they are campaigning for, which is to bring families back together. There are many people who are members of this organisation, not just men, grandparents, aunts and uncles.
Child access and child support are two separate matters. And should be treated as such.
And because of the way the child support system is managed, that it is worked out pro rata, ie on how many days a child will spend with a parent, then people are fuelled by money. So they try to malign the other parent in child access cases, so that they do have the child more days, hence they can claim child support.
In my own case, we agreed 50/50, no money changed hands, I pay for 50% of the costs, as does their father.
Some months I pay more, certainly when he had another child, his outgoings were higher than mine, so I paid more of the school fees. The finanical commitments do not change, yet people spend years fighting over access because of money.
Where is that helping the children?
thanks for letting me know how it all works ! ( especially with the child support claim bit !
iamamm:
but they are all one big boys club.
so the last 3 cases i represented myself.
but they are all one big boys club.
so the last 3 cases i represented myself.
Hi iamamm, After 5yrs, I chose to do the same. I represented myself, with help in preparation of documents, through a retired barrister friend of mine. We worked round the clock. You should seen the size of the files. Youda thunk it was a criminal case!!!
Anwya, I also applied for and got, separate representation for my son, so he had a voice at the age of 9 yrs, so in one fell swoop I eliminated accusations that I was stopping him from seeing his son. Also arranged for a court ordered psychiatric assessment for the child. I was then well prepared to build my case. Gave him lotsa rope to hang himself in the process, as I fully knew he would. At the end of ALLLLL the proceedings, I managed to get an order from the court, which no lawyer had ever wanted to touch. Bingo, an the order which deemed him to be 'frivolous and vexatious' under Section 118A of the Family Law Act(yep, I got a full copy of the Act, to be informed is good). This stopped all new applications in their tracks. Before he could inflict any new applications, he had to apply for permission of the Family Court. You can guess how many followed. ZIP!
Anyway, for what he put me through, as he is now a lawyer interstate, I'm about to call him and ask him to email me a copy of a commercial lease agreement, so the agent can attach it to formal docs to be served on my prospective tenants. And I will also ask him to draw up the lease for me. Gratis.
A tiny gesture on his part, given he never paid a cent in maintenance! Hang on, sorry, $300.00 venere08:
Anyway, for what he put me through, as he is now a lawyer interstate, I'm about to call him and ask him to email me a copy of a commercial lease agreement, so the agent can attach it to formal docs to be served on my prospective tenants. And I will also ask him to draw up the lease for me. Gratis. A tiny gesture on his part, given he never paid a cent in maintenance! Hang on, sorry, $300.00
Anyway, for what he put me through, as he is now a lawyer interstate, I'm about to call him and ask him to email me a copy of a commercial lease agreement, so the agent can attach it to formal docs to be served on my prospective tenants. And I will also ask him to draw up the lease for me. Gratis. A tiny gesture on his part, given he never paid a cent in maintenance! Hang on, sorry, $300.00
A quick update. I just rang him and he said to leave it with him, I just provide him with all the details of each party, and he will do the rest
Family law in the uk is a sick joke.
Family law in Spain is a lot better
People DO know what damage they are doing to their kids,they just don,t care.They become too obssessed with dishing out hurt left right and centre.
Here in Spain the law re custody is biased in favour of the women,but the Spanish are also very big on visiting rights for fathers and for that I applaud them.
Family law in Spain is a lot better
People DO know what damage they are doing to their kids,they just don,t care.They become too obssessed with dishing out hurt left right and centre.
Here in Spain the law re custody is biased in favour of the women,but the Spanish are also very big on visiting rights for fathers and for that I applaud them.
Elley: Family law in the uk is a sick joke.
Family law in Spain is a lot better
People DO know what damage they are doing to their kids,they just don,t care.They become too obssessed with dishing out hurt left right and centre.
Here in Spain the law re custody is biased in favour of the women,but the Spanish are also very big on visiting rights for fathers and for that I applaud them.
Family law in Spain is a lot better
People DO know what damage they are doing to their kids,they just don,t care.They become too obssessed with dishing out hurt left right and centre.
Here in Spain the law re custody is biased in favour of the women,but the Spanish are also very big on visiting rights for fathers and for that I applaud them.
Of-course they know of the damage. But they are too self-centred to care. Very sad. Thank goodness some people finally come to their senses. I had a client tell me the other day that his ex has now changed her tune, and allowing him access without a big fuss, admitting it is in the children's interests that they see their father. Know what did it? The legal aid money funding her legal bill, dried up. Amazing the insights people suddenly develop!
Elley: Family law in the uk is a sick joke.
Family law in Spain is a lot better
People DO know what damage they are doing to their kids,they just don,t care.They become too obssessed with dishing out hurt left right and centre.
Here in Spain the law re custody is biased in favour of the women,but the Spanish are also very big on visiting rights for fathers and for that I applaud them.
Family law in Spain is a lot better
People DO know what damage they are doing to their kids,they just don,t care.They become too obssessed with dishing out hurt left right and centre.
Here in Spain the law re custody is biased in favour of the women,but the Spanish are also very big on visiting rights for fathers and for that I applaud them.
Elley, it is very much as you describe it in the United Kingdom.
I don't think it helps fathers at all as they are led to believe that they should not fight or they give up very easily.
Spain sounds good, I don't think any parent should be favoured, especially in these matters.
Sommerauer71: I am struggling at little with the math here.
I cannot see how they wanted you to pay £900 per week. Especially if you were earning £635.00.
WHich has nothing to do with Family Law, that is child support, but still as we are talking about it, I find it completely odd that the CSA would ask for a ludicrous sum.
Whatever she told the CSA if you have provided all the paperwork, ie pay slips, then how they managed to come up with such a sum.
It is worked out on gross salary, 15% of gross salary for the first child, and it goes up in 5% increments for each child thereafter.
The CSA do not take living expenses for the non resident parent, this I do know, which is madness, so any non resident parent still has to live, so I can understand why it is hard, but I cannot for the life see how they expected you to pay that amoount when you earned alomst £300 a week less.
Are you sure? £900 per week? That £3,600 a month? How many children have you got?
And if you had been paying voluntarily, you must have had a papertrail.
Which does count, you should have asked for the official complaint address and the call reference number, of each call you have made, always, then those calls can be listened to.
That is just madness and madness I am struggling to comprehend.
I cannot see how they wanted you to pay £900 per week. Especially if you were earning £635.00.
WHich has nothing to do with Family Law, that is child support, but still as we are talking about it, I find it completely odd that the CSA would ask for a ludicrous sum.
Whatever she told the CSA if you have provided all the paperwork, ie pay slips, then how they managed to come up with such a sum.
It is worked out on gross salary, 15% of gross salary for the first child, and it goes up in 5% increments for each child thereafter.
The CSA do not take living expenses for the non resident parent, this I do know, which is madness, so any non resident parent still has to live, so I can understand why it is hard, but I cannot for the life see how they expected you to pay that amoount when you earned alomst £300 a week less.
Are you sure? £900 per week? That £3,600 a month? How many children have you got?
And if you had been paying voluntarily, you must have had a papertrail.
Which does count, you should have asked for the official complaint address and the call reference number, of each call you have made, always, then those calls can be listened to.
That is just madness and madness I am struggling to comprehend.
YEP.....totally sure !
2 daughters......you already asked ...i already answered...
maths are correct....but as i commented , this was when the CSA was out of control.
there was no scale !
sommer, you maybe talking ' now ' ?
i honestly and thankfully don't know how they operate anymore.
but when my divorce was going on..
there were dozens of ex-husbands committing suicide.
it was crazy !
if you were employed and earnt, and were traceable...
they targetted you.
better to put yourself out of work !!!
or be a council house tenant or on benefit....
they ignored you then !!
i just said i couldn't pay....
deduct it from my salary at souce !
( attachment of earnings order )....
also my ex wouldnt sell the houses she ' won ' .....
thereby meaning, i had no legal right to hold another mortage
in my own name !
( there were 4 houses already ! )
i moved in with a friend from work ( female )....
my ex then went after her earnings and maintenance
from a past marriage.
so you can imagine why i kept going back to court ??
it was mad. and i couldn't comprehend myself....
none of it made sense.
the solicitors were hopless..so out of 10 court-cases
i represented myself in the last 3 !
only to get ' carriage of sale' and ' visitation '
luckily 10 cases later....'we ' encountered the first
judge who made the original order in her favour...
and he was digusted that after 3 years,
she had done nothing !
the boyfriend was ' deemed not to exist ' !
fortunately he awarded me the right to sell all
the properties at a fair market price
within a 3 - month period.
guess who bought the family house ?
the non-existant boyfriend !
what a joke ?
i really don't want to try to remember;
it's in the past. i leave it there !
Hi Elley
A point I feel I would like to make. The CSA is a separate entitiyy from Family Law.
Your story is one of many men's, and as you know, the CSA and their lack or organisation was the cause of men to commit suicide back in the nineties when it was first introduced.
It is undergoing radical changes as we speak, this I know as I have worked with the COI in the UK for many years, It is a ball of wool that has been allowed to unravel and the wool is all over the floor, the COI are picking it up and slowly it is making changes that are not noticeable yet, but will be.
To put right the wrongs that have happened will take some time.
Still, that does not stop the harsh memories that you and many others have.
The CSA in it's current form, works for greedy people, because those cases are easy to solve, they react to money hungry exes trying to extract cash from emotionally, financially drained people. It is awful.
I know one man, who paid all that was asked of him, thousands and his ex still would not let him see his daughter, you may know him, the founder of F4J in the UK.
Family Law and the child support system as it is, suits angry bitter parents, unfortunately children are used as emotional missiles in this circumstances and I am shocked that no person who is involved with these agencies can see it.
Elley, many people who know you here, are aware that you have been through the mill, around of all of this area, thank you for posting this.
And I hope that somewhere, you are beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel.
A point I feel I would like to make. The CSA is a separate entitiyy from Family Law.
Your story is one of many men's, and as you know, the CSA and their lack or organisation was the cause of men to commit suicide back in the nineties when it was first introduced.
It is undergoing radical changes as we speak, this I know as I have worked with the COI in the UK for many years, It is a ball of wool that has been allowed to unravel and the wool is all over the floor, the COI are picking it up and slowly it is making changes that are not noticeable yet, but will be.
To put right the wrongs that have happened will take some time.
Still, that does not stop the harsh memories that you and many others have.
The CSA in it's current form, works for greedy people, because those cases are easy to solve, they react to money hungry exes trying to extract cash from emotionally, financially drained people. It is awful.
I know one man, who paid all that was asked of him, thousands and his ex still would not let him see his daughter, you may know him, the founder of F4J in the UK.
Family Law and the child support system as it is, suits angry bitter parents, unfortunately children are used as emotional missiles in this circumstances and I am shocked that no person who is involved with these agencies can see it.
Elley, many people who know you here, are aware that you have been through the mill, around of all of this area, thank you for posting this.
And I hope that somewhere, you are beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel.
Good to see you too,sad but gotta go.Lots on.
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It was only when I took a step back from the battle, as the children were completely bewildered that I realised how poor UK family law is.
I then researched other countries, particularly the US, on their family law.
I found similar trends in both countries.
In the UK, Family Law has been a problem for many years, it is held in secret, the mother is not always favoured, that is a myth, it is that fathers think they are so they do not fight to see their children.
It is a poor system, natural, loving relationships are allowed to erode, by the decisions of judges, contact orders cannot be enforced if they are broken, and parental alienation is very much in place, usually fuelled by money and bitterness. Parents emotionally assault each other and children are the missiles.
My question to you, my wise friends, is that how is Family Law in your country?
Have you had any experiences that you would be prepared to share?
I know of one American lady, who had her boys taken to Germany, by their father, and she has not seen her children for ten years now, they are completely alienated against her, do not want to knnow her, and the courts can do nothing about it. Not a jot, especially now they are adults themselves.
I took a step back, from ours, because I knew the courts could not give a decision, so it was me, that eventually made the decision, it took me a year to bring my children back into the country, that was with love and patience and reassuring them, that no court battles would ensue, I spent thousands of pounds on briefs that I ended up firing.
In the end, it took me, as a mother to end it all, and make the decision, not the judges, that we would have them 50% of the time each and that has worked for us, mum and dad, and the children, they have been fortunate enough to have the love of both parents which is the way it should be.
The reason I raised this, is because, as a young child, I was the product of a custody (as it was called then) where my father had to prove that my mother was an unfit mother. He did, now my mother, who is mentally ill, could not take care of her children, at all, he had to do it, and he did, yet never did he prevent, erode, or damage the relationship we had with our mother, it just that she was not capable, people talked about her, and she was alone and frightened.
Family Law in the UK has destroyed many families, luckily I prevented them from destroying mine, I was not about to let it happen.
So, I would be interested in any stories, as a discussion.
Afternoon Europe.