I have a theory I call the "Bucket" theory. It goes something like this:
When a man & a woman first meet online it's like an empty bucket. As they talk and get to know each other, things surface that are not in sync with the other and each item is like a handful of rocks that gets deposited in the bucket. Both people have buckets and at some point one or the others bucket get too heavy to lift. At that point the one whose bucket gets there first decides it's just not worth persuing the relationship. Some people bow out with tact or concern for the feelings of the other person and do the hard thing by telling the other it's just not going to work, and in rare cases even why. This is a person with class and guts because it isn't easy to do. Many people don't have the guts, compassion, or people skills to do this, so they take the easy way out and simply disappear.
I've had so many women vanish on me without a trace it's hard to believe. I no longer question why, I just assume her bucket was full and she couldn't be bothered to tell me. It does make you look into yourself though, and see if there is something that could be improved, if only you knew what it was.
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
When a man & a woman first meet online it's like an empty bucket. As they talk and get to know each other, things surface that are not in sync with the other and each item is like a handful of rocks that gets deposited in the bucket. Both people have buckets and at some point one or the others bucket get too heavy to lift. At that point the one whose bucket gets there
first decides it's just not worth persuing the relationship. Some people bow out with tact or concern for the feelings of the other person and do the hard thing by telling the other it's just not going to work, and in rare cases even why. This is a person with class and guts because it isn't easy to do. Many people don't have the guts, compassion, or people skills to do this, so they take the easy way out and simply disappear.
I've had so many women vanish on me without a trace it's hard to believe. I no longer question why, I just assume her bucket was full and she couldn't be bothered to tell me. It does make you look into yourself though, and see if there is something that could be improved, if only you knew what it was.