A STICKY SITUATION ( Archived) (12)

On my way to work, I was listening to some gentlemen on an Indian radio station here discussing a very sticky situation. Apparently one of the men had a good friend who was supposed to be getting married to this young lady(I am not sure if this was supposed to be an arranged marriage). Things were going well,he had met the girl's parents and they were supposed to be in the process of making arrangements for the wedding. One problem. The guy had now fallen in love with the girl's sister. The guys on the station were now debating what was the right thing to do in this situation. The man's friend was saying that he should come clean to the girl and tell her that he had feelings for her sister. The other man was saying that he had already made a committment to the girl and that if he had been intimate with her, then he should go ahead and try and make it work. The friend said that he should be honest with the girl before the wedding, since how would the girl feel knowing he was always thinking about her sister. There was also the issue of having to tell the parents after having met them (and there being the understanding that he was marrying one sister), that he was now in love with the other sister. What do you think should be done?

I'm not quite sure how would this work. If it was an a ranged marriage and both girls are available for marriage, the oldest one gets married first, I think the rest of the sisters cannot get married unless the first one is married off. If by not marrying the first one he thwarts the marriage of the others, it can get really sticky. If marryinig either one is accepted, well then, bless them.

Now, not marrying the oldest sister could be seen among these groups as spurning the girl, like if there was something wrong with her and it could hinder her chances of getting married...

If it was the case in a western society, the guy will have a honest talk to the girl and inform her that his affections have been transfered to the love of his life, her sister...

MHO

Since it is an Eastern culture and not Western, there is probably some law or religious austracizing against him marrying the sister since he already "bed" the other.
Too bad love can't over rule laws of the land, culture, or religion.

simple he'll get married to the first girl and have an affair with her sister problem solved

Ohhhh that IS a sticky situation! (I admit I was hoping to come in here and read about super sticky stuff though, you know, like.. honey or syrup, or chocolate as a body wrap!)

I've learned something in this crazy life.. you can't help who you fall in love with. You just can't. It would be very difficult to do, but I think he should be honest with the girl before the wedding. While it would be a travesty to hurt her that way, I think it would be even worse to marry her without loving her. If it were me, I'd want to know the truth regardless of how ugly it was.

I agree with this. I don't want a man marrying me out of courtesy. I want him marrying me because he loved me and that's what he wanted to do. It is painful yes to hear but even more painful later on if he starts looking for love elsewhere because it was never there to begin with and he now resents me. I can't think of anything worse than being with a man that does not love me.

that makes two