Fiance with problems. ( Archived) (26)

C'mon, brides, you can admit it: there are times that your fiance drives you absolutely crazy! Yes, he is sweet and loving, and the man that you want to spend the rest of your life with (at least most days), but there are days when you think that you must be nuts to be marrying this guy. If you find yourself agreeing with all of this, don't feel guilty - you are completely normal.

Being in a relationship is never easy, and when you pile the stress of planning a wedding on top of that, it can be downright challenging at times. This is not to say that you do not love your fiancé, but often it is all of the little annoying things that can add up to him driving you insane. If you are a fan of wedding chat boards online, you will quickly realize that almost every engaged woman feels like this at least once.

Of course, you don't want to let petty irritations spoil your relationship, so it is a good idea to try to resolve them or to resolve to let them go. If your guy always puts the roll of toilet paper on "backwards" so that the paper comes from underneath, this is the type of thing that you should probably resolve to get over (at least he replaced the roll, right?). Some things, though, will really eat away at you, so it is best to nip them in the bud.

Topping the rant list of most brides is that their fiancés do not help out enough with the wedding stuff. It can be both the practical details (he forgot to meet you for a tasting at the caterer's today) and the emotional drama that surrounds a wedding (his mother is driving you bananas and he refuses to intervene). Every person is different, so think carefully about your fiancé in particular before trying to reach a solution.

Start off by giving your guy the benefit of the doubt. How much have you really asked for help? Maybe he thinks that you are having a great time planning the wedding and that he should stay out of the way. Keep in mind that most men don't really know anything about weddings until they have their own. Obviously you know that he has to give gifts to his groomsmen, but don't expect him to know without being told. (While you're at it, you might mention that it is up to the groom to pick out the groomsmen gifts; don't let this task end up on your lengthy to-do list!) It pays to be specific.

Another thing that many brides complain about is their future mother-in-law. Maybe your fiancé has not noticed that she has been stepping on your toes when it comes to making choices about the wedding. Or maybe he has noticed, but is not backing you up. This is a situation that calls for a heart-to-heart talk with your husband-to-be.

Mother-in-law issues need to be resolved early on, or they can become a lingering problem throughout your marriage. If you think your mother-in-law is bossy when it comes to your wedding, just wait until you have kids! You have a right to gently but firmly insist that your fiancé stand by your side when it comes to situations involving his mother. Let him be the one to break it to her that you will not be paying for a limo to carry all of her relatives to the reception. It is not your job to be the bearer of bad news to his mother. After all, you don't ask him to call your dad every time you need another deposit for a wedding expense, right?

The wedding planning process can put a strain on your relationship, but try to remember that is only a brief moment in your lives together. Go ahead, and vent to your girlfriends when you need to, but don't allow the little stuff to drive you too crazy. You will have a lifetime of picking up his dirty socks, so it is a good idea to learn how to ignore those pet peeves before you say "I do".

You really should evaluate your relationship more. I think you could probably do a lot better. I know that you are invested in this but I have had this exact relationship. You can make excuses about it all you want but if he hasn't been physical to you yet I guarentee that it will happen one day. If he truly loves you enough to marry you he would not treat you this way. He would trust you more and respect you because what your post screams to me is that he does not respect you at all. As a human as a person as a woman. Your past should not be used against you at all. It's your past. If he can't get himself under control and learn how to respect you and your family and having friends I would not marry him. I think you will ultimatly regret it

JMO good luck I have been there and you would probably be happier without him

Hi you have been given a lot of good advise it is now up to you to take it.
Never, ever should your past be thrown back at you, he is doing this not once but many times.
You marry him, things will only get worse.
Most of us have had bad experiences we all have been hurt by others.
This is not an exuse to use this now against you.
This man is a controler and most likely will hurt you someday.
I feel that as soon as you are married you will find out the truth.
Run girl and don't give him another chance.
Don't believe him when he tells you he will change.
He won't change ever!