What makes you take the plunge? (194)
In response to: Most of us had previous marriage or two that end up in divorce.
A devastating experience.
We do know better than taking a marriage proposal lightly.
What would make you to take the plunge and how long you think you need to know them before you say "I do"?
Are you comfortable making this decision?
A devastating experience.
We do know better than taking a marriage proposal lightly.
What would make you to take the plunge and how long you think you need to know them before you say "I do"?
Are you comfortable making this decision?
Was never divorced but I would think long and hard before I'd get married again.
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RayfromUSA: A lobotomy might do it.
I don't think they still lobotomize people these days, hence the answer it "nothing"? lol...
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Laura25: Hi jlb
Very true that at different stages in life marriage has different meaning,
yet with the right partner happily-ever-after is not a fantasy, IMO.
My grandparents always were an example for me – they managed to have this very special light, and laughter, and happiness in the house till the end. Even at the worst of times.
They had raised 10 children who were always very close to each other... well, at least as long as my grandparents lived. None of my aunts/uncles on this side of the family had a divorce. But I agree that they were more of an exception than a rule.
Marriage is definitely not a goal, but if you have this dilemma to “I do” or to “I don’t”,
and you are not sure if you are done with a serious soul-searching part, will it be a deal breaker for you?
If your partner believes that your hesitancy to get married constitutes a hesitancy in commitment to him, will you be willing to accommodate his wishes?
I mean, there is no meeting in the middle on this one...
Very true that at different stages in life marriage has different meaning,
yet with the right partner happily-ever-after is not a fantasy, IMO.
My grandparents always were an example for me – they managed to have this very special light, and laughter, and happiness in the house till the end. Even at the worst of times.
They had raised 10 children who were always very close to each other... well, at least as long as my grandparents lived. None of my aunts/uncles on this side of the family had a divorce. But I agree that they were more of an exception than a rule.
Marriage is definitely not a goal, but if you have this dilemma to “I do” or to “I don’t”,
and you are not sure if you are done with a serious soul-searching part, will it be a deal breaker for you?
If your partner believes that your hesitancy to get married constitutes a hesitancy in commitment to him, will you be willing to accommodate his wishes?
I mean, there is no meeting in the middle on this one...
No, I guess there's no middle ground, Laura. But if I'm not done with the serious soul-searching part, then I think the answer is that I'm not ready to marry again. Soul-searching, to me, doesn't mean that I will have absolutely no worries or uncertainties about what lies ahead, for there are always uncertainties...nothing is guaranteed. Soul-searching (again, to me) means that I have given serious consideration to the proposal and, after I have digested everything fully, I am left with a feeling of calm and of a rather confident joy.
But, then again, it's easy for me to say this, but I haven't been in this situation anytime recently. I just think that I'd have to feel that there was far more to be gained in keeping him in my life, in committing my life to him, than would be gained if I let him go. Too simple an answer, but that's pretty much how I would describe it.
And if he thought that my hesitancy was indicative of an unwillingness to commit to him, I would hope to be able to reassure him that this is not the case....not an unwillingness. I'd hope to be able to convey that, quite the contrary, I want him to know beyond a doubt that when/if I say "yes", I mean it with all my heart and I won't second-guess my decision...and that it's a decision that I obviously do not take lightly. Hopefully, he would understand...at least for awhile. After a great deal of time, however, it's likely that I AM being resistant and so I probably don't feel like I can make that commitment. In that case, I'm just being selfish...I don't want to let him go because I don't want to be alone. But that's not fair to him.
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LaVerdad: When the tank is full and the suga stick rock solid::lips:
WTG------ This thread is Archived ------
Laura25: Most of us had previous marriage or two that end up in divorce.
A devastating experience.
We do know better than taking a marriage proposal lightly.
What would make you to take the plunge and how long you think you need to know them before you say "I do"?
Are you comfortable making this decision?
A devastating experience.
We do know better than taking a marriage proposal lightly.
What would make you to take the plunge and how long you think you need to know them before you say "I do"?
Are you comfortable making this decision?
flirt with me and will direct say I DO
sorry laura, didn't have answer to that 
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Laura25: WTG
Got to be firing on all cylinders to raise those serotonin levels!
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jlb684: No, I guess there's no middle ground, Laura. But if I'm not done with the serious soul-searching part, then I think the answer is that I'm not ready to marry again. Soul-searching, to me, doesn't mean that I will have absolutely no worries or uncertainties about what lies ahead, for there are always uncertainties...nothing is guaranteed. Soul-searching (again, to me) means that I have given serious consideration to the proposal and, after I have digested everything fully, I am left with a feeling of calm and of a rather confident joy.
But, then again, it's easy for me to say this, but I haven't been in this situation anytime recently.
I just think that I'd have to feel that there was far more to be gained in keeping him in my life, in committing my life to him, than would be gained if I let him go.
Too simple an answer, but that's pretty much how I would describe it.
And if he thought that my hesitancy was indicative of an unwillingness to commit to him, I would hope to be able to reassure him that this is not the case....not an unwillingness. I'd hope to be able to convey that, quite the contrary, I want him to know beyond a doubt that when/if I say "yes", I mean it with all my heart and I won't second-guess my decision...and that it's a decision that I obviously do not take lightly. Hopefully, he would understand...at least for awhile. After a great deal of time, however, it's likely that I AM being resistant and so I probably don't feel like I can make that commitment. In that case, I'm just being selfish...I don't want to let him go because I don't want to be alone. But that's not fair to him.
But, then again, it's easy for me to say this, but I haven't been in this situation anytime recently.
I just think that I'd have to feel that there was far more to be gained in keeping him in my life, in committing my life to him, than would be gained if I let him go.
Too simple an answer, but that's pretty much how I would describe it.
And if he thought that my hesitancy was indicative of an unwillingness to commit to him, I would hope to be able to reassure him that this is not the case....not an unwillingness. I'd hope to be able to convey that, quite the contrary, I want him to know beyond a doubt that when/if I say "yes", I mean it with all my heart and I won't second-guess my decision...and that it's a decision that I obviously do not take lightly. Hopefully, he would understand...at least for awhile. After a great deal of time, however, it's likely that I AM being resistant and so I probably don't feel like I can make that commitment. In that case, I'm just being selfish...I don't want to let him go because I don't want to be alone. But that's not fair to him.
The concept, though selfish if you think of it,
but sheer genius in its simplicity!
Thank you, jlb.
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Hi Laura, 10 long yrs since I divoriced My X.... I Know the right woman is out there, and In ten Years I have Dated like 4 women, and None Have shown me A Promising Love, They all Said they Loved Me, But Couldnt prove it in their actions..... It was all Talk, and None of the 4 could walk their talk.....
It almost feels like a wasted 10 yrs, but for that 10 Yrs I also have learned, and Educated Myself, I have Dumped Many Bad Habits, and still have hope and Faith, I was Looking, looking, looking, But for now, I have just Quit Looking For the right one, I am just living my Life and Heck with all the Fake People, and Games, I almost dont even want to post, as it seems a waste of time, and energy.....
If She Shows up, then I will be concerned, until then, I will continue Clearing My own Path, By Myself....
I dont just go out and Pick up anyone, I would rather do without!!! When the Right one comes, I will hopefully be Ready, But Marriage, Wont Happen overnight, I will make the proper move, as over Time She Proves Herself!
I am Available, to only one, if she can find me!..... IM getting very annoyed with Posting and Playing these Games on CS, where 10 guy all want the same woman, and the woman dont want but just friends..... I have better things to do Than repeat this last year.... On A PC playing games
I have seen Many Games, and the Rest a PLUS SIZED women, That do NOT Attract me......Sorry But thats the Truth
Good luck To All, I am not into Games! But Maybe aLaugh!
I will not put My Lifes acumulations, out for the Greedy to Comsume.... Only a Real True Love will Settle My Heart, And True Love is Established on Trust, and Then Proves itself over Time.....
So In a year, I have only found Mostly Games, and A Very Few REAL Friends!
It almost feels like a wasted 10 yrs, but for that 10 Yrs I also have learned, and Educated Myself, I have Dumped Many Bad Habits, and still have hope and Faith, I was Looking, looking, looking, But for now, I have just Quit Looking For the right one, I am just living my Life and Heck with all the Fake People, and Games, I almost dont even want to post, as it seems a waste of time, and energy.....
If She Shows up, then I will be concerned, until then, I will continue Clearing My own Path, By Myself....
I dont just go out and Pick up anyone, I would rather do without!!! When the Right one comes, I will hopefully be Ready, But Marriage, Wont Happen overnight, I will make the proper move, as over Time She Proves Herself!
I am Available, to only one, if she can find me!..... IM getting very annoyed with Posting and Playing these Games on CS, where 10 guy all want the same woman, and the woman dont want but just friends..... I have better things to do Than repeat this last year.... On A PC playing games
I have seen Many Games, and the Rest a PLUS SIZED women, That do NOT Attract me......Sorry But thats the Truth
Good luck To All, I am not into Games! But Maybe aLaugh!
I will not put My Lifes acumulations, out for the Greedy to Comsume.... Only a Real True Love will Settle My Heart, And True Love is Established on Trust, and Then Proves itself over Time.....
So In a year, I have only found Mostly Games, and A Very Few REAL Friends!
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Laura25: The concept, though selfish if you think of it,
but sheer genius in its simplicity!
Thank you, jlb.
but sheer genius in its simplicity!
Thank you, jlb.
Always a pleasure, Laura.
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I keep saying I won't marry again, but also say I'll 'never say never'.
It's unlikely.
My last ex wife would like to marry me.
That would be kinda restricting, wouldn't it?
Can't I meet all you lovely ladies first and then think about it?
It's unlikely.
My last ex wife would like to marry me.
That would be kinda restricting, wouldn't it?
Can't I meet all you lovely ladies first and then think about it?
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jlb's quote:
"I just think that I'd have to feel that there was far more to be gained in keeping him in my life, in committing my life to him, than would be gained if I let him go."
Lots of women have thought that way about me....... until they got to know me better!
I don't know.
Nobody is going to make me contemplate suicide again; that was a real low to get to.......... being controlled by another person is not something I'd let happen again.
I like to feel that I am free - that feeling of freedom keeps me held bound more strongly than any chain ever could.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
I'm saying that you can be held to another person by LOVE more than any sense of commitment imposed by society or law or the wishes of other people.
"I just think that I'd have to feel that there was far more to be gained in keeping him in my life, in committing my life to him, than would be gained if I let him go."
Lots of women have thought that way about me....... until they got to know me better!
I don't know.
Nobody is going to make me contemplate suicide again; that was a real low to get to.......... being controlled by another person is not something I'd let happen again.
I like to feel that I am free - that feeling of freedom keeps me held bound more strongly than any chain ever could.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
I'm saying that you can be held to another person by LOVE more than any sense of commitment imposed by society or law or the wishes of other people.
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RobertC2:
I'm saying that you can be held to another person by LOVE more than any sense of commitment imposed by society or law or the wishes of other people.
I'm saying that you can be held to another person by LOVE more than any sense of commitment imposed by society or law or the wishes of other people.
And I'd much rather know that someone is with me and that he stays with me because that's exactly where he wants to be, not because he feels stuck and that divorce would be too messy and so he just sticks with it (unhappily, and likely cheating).
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jlb684: And I'd much rather know that someone is with me and that he stays with me because that's exactly where he wants to be, not because he feels stuck and that divorce would be too messy and so he just sticks with it (unhappily, and likely cheating).
Same here...........I'd hate a man to stay with me just for that!
Just joking......... I meant a woman of course.
I always make sure that my divorces are as least messy as possible.
I keep a divorce lawyer on retainer just for these occasions.
It makes sense in this day and age.
Lord - these days women want so many houses, cars, maintenance, a percentage of your entire worth........ it's just 'horrible'.
Greedy people shouldn't marry me - I'll screw them in court if they try and take me to the cleaners!
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Sometimes i really do write a load of crap.
I've been divorced three times.
I guess I was lucky.
Nobody took me to the cleaners - wives two and three got nothing, but my first wife had a very good settlement which I believed she deserved as she had been my wife for ten years and we had started with nothing and done pretty damn well together.
I've been divorced three times.
I guess I was lucky.
Nobody took me to the cleaners - wives two and three got nothing, but my first wife had a very good settlement which I believed she deserved as she had been my wife for ten years and we had started with nothing and done pretty damn well together.
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RobertC2: Same here...........I'd hate a man to stay with me just for that!
Just joking......... I meant a woman of course.
I always make sure that my divorces are as least messy as possible.
I keep a divorce lawyer on retainer just for these occasions.
It makes sense in this day and age.
Lord - these days women want so many houses, cars, maintenance, a percentage of your entire worth........ it's just 'horrible'.
Greedy people shouldn't marry me - I'll screw them in court if they try and take me to the cleaners!
Just joking......... I meant a woman of course.
I always make sure that my divorces are as least messy as possible.
I keep a divorce lawyer on retainer just for these occasions.
It makes sense in this day and age.
Lord - these days women want so many houses, cars, maintenance, a percentage of your entire worth........ it's just 'horrible'.
Greedy people shouldn't marry me - I'll screw them in court if they try and take me to the cleaners!
Talk about being prepared for the unexpected....or expected sadly!
You make it sound as though you´ve been taken to the cleaners on several occasions.
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Jan1305: Talk about being prepared for the unexpected....or expected sadly!
You make it sound as though you´ve been taken to the cleaners on several occasions.
You make it sound as though you´ve been taken to the cleaners on several occasions.
I was joking Jan - I never got taken to the cleaners as you'll see if you read my next post after the one you commented on.
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RobertC2: I was joking Jan - I never got taken to the cleaners as you'll see if you read my next post after the one you commented on.
Our posts crossed.
I never know when to take you seriously though. You always contradict yourself within minutes.
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Jan1305: Our posts crossed.
I never know when to take you seriously though. You always contradict yourself within minutes.
I never know when to take you seriously though. You always contradict yourself within minutes.
I like to confuse people.
It's bad really...... I'm joking often with a serious face, but I do tell the truth too and then people don't believe me because the truth, as we all know, is often stranger than fiction!
You see - I can occasionally throw in a big whopping TRUE LINE that I'd never make public if I thought people thought I wasn't joking.
Get it?
I don't!
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If the toilet is stopped up......I take the plung and unstop the toilet....I though that would be plan to know. Ya'll ask silly questions some time!
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A devastating experience.
We do know better than taking a marriage proposal lightly.
What would make you to take the plunge and how long you think you need to know them before you say "I do"?
Are you comfortable making this decision?
Time would be very important, but how long that would take depends on many factors, like how sure I am at the time and how much I really know the other person(her transparency). Love would always be the only reason for me to marry again. When the time comes I will be comfortable making that decision!