Does Your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist? (30)
"Progress", not perfection...
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i use to think so ....not anymore...disappointment after disappointment has left me very disillusioned ............
i dont think there is anything as a perfect person or perfect love....and anyone thinks that they are setting themselves up for major emotional disaster.
i dont think there is anything as a perfect person or perfect love....and anyone thinks that they are setting themselves up for major emotional disaster.------ This thread is Archived ------
She is out there and soon we will find each other.
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Yep when you sort out the Wheat from the chaff
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You guys have never been disappointed with you love relationships lol
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not so sure now thought she was out there but i was mistaken
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OP, man that's well written. Since you are in your 20's still, you probably ARE indeed finding this to be true. As people mature and develop a greater life and love/relationship experience, they will discover/learn of compromise and compassion towards their partner. I feel that you can't always have it your own way and sometimes "it just doesn't matter." Pick your battles, you know? And they should too. It should be a partnership, even in friendship people should know this, and will in time.
So, same as has been said by others: Hang in there! You will find what you are looking for someday! Meanwhile enjoy the process, the journey!
So, same as has been said by others: Hang in there! You will find what you are looking for someday! Meanwhile enjoy the process, the journey!
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Yup. She married someone else. 
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SummerUK: Yep when you sort out the Wheat from the chaff
I get all kinds of promises on here but no action!
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fasterthanthem5: I get all kinds of promises on here but no action!
I didn't promise anything. We both agreed after 2 posts we were soulmates
Would you like to move to Spain? 
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Why Spain ? Don't they drink lots of wine there?
I prefer 
? Don't they drink lots of wine there? I prefer ------ This thread is Archived ------
SummerUK: Yep when you sort out the Wheat from the chaff
Which are you???
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kakax33: I have a real difficulty with the subject of 'The One' at the moment because I am hearing the phrase mentioned daily yet I think it really has got out of control. I think we are mostly guilty of secretly setting our sights on the perfect person for a relationship and acknowledging anything at all resembling second-best as simply not acceptable at all. In fact we probably discount most people we meet without a second glance. No chemistry! Well not acceptable for us anyway - that's because we are special. The trouble with this contemporary outlook is that it is based on a completely unrealistic set of expectations with goalposts that move by the dayLet is say that you are 30 and you have had two or three relationships previously. You have a semi decent career that is providing you with a reasonable lifestyle. You have a good set of friends, certain financial independence and a wide and varied set of ideals and tastes that are sophisticated and intelligent. You know what you are about and you know where you may be going. Okay great. So the problem is that you are looking for 'The One'. You are looking for the person who will compliment your lifestyle, your outlook, will be able to bring something to your already hectic lifestyle but will never ever ask you to compromise.
You are in charge of your own destiny and you don't need to compromise so why should you. After all if he is The One, it will all fall into place perfectly. Well you are in for a nasty shock my friends. Life isn't perfect, just switch on the news and look. Marriage isn't perfect as anyone married 40 years+ will happily relate. Everything in life needs working at, and everything in life comes with catches and hitches. There are a couple of key words I will come back to - 'compliment' and 'compromise'.
The problem is our current generations are growing up with expectations that are far exceeding availability. You are looking for the perfect man or woman, you are looking for that 'one' special person and yet amazingly it appears that those who are so selective appear to have heavily overvalued their own 'relationship wealth'. Who says that they have so much to offer. Who says that they are truly nice people who deserve someone. I constantly encounter the word 'compliment' on the profiles of my own dating sites. Women in particular are adept at stating that they are very choosey, that they can be difficult, that they don't suffer fools gladly and that they are very specific as to who they are looking for.
so, do you think your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist?
Ever tried to make a Fist without Fingers?You are in charge of your own destiny and you don't need to compromise so why should you. After all if he is The One, it will all fall into place perfectly. Well you are in for a nasty shock my friends. Life isn't perfect, just switch on the news and look. Marriage isn't perfect as anyone married 40 years+ will happily relate. Everything in life needs working at, and everything in life comes with catches and hitches. There are a couple of key words I will come back to - 'compliment' and 'compromise'.
The problem is our current generations are growing up with expectations that are far exceeding availability. You are looking for the perfect man or woman, you are looking for that 'one' special person and yet amazingly it appears that those who are so selective appear to have heavily overvalued their own 'relationship wealth'. Who says that they have so much to offer. Who says that they are truly nice people who deserve someone. I constantly encounter the word 'compliment' on the profiles of my own dating sites. Women in particular are adept at stating that they are very choosey, that they can be difficult, that they don't suffer fools gladly and that they are very specific as to who they are looking for.
so, do you think your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist?
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Yes I believe they are and if I find them in this lifetime I will be very happy 
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kakax33: I have a real difficulty with the subject of 'The One' at the moment because I am hearing the phrase mentioned daily yet I think it really has got out of control. I think we are mostly guilty of secretly setting our sights on the perfect person for a relationship and acknowledging anything at all resembling second-best as simply not acceptable at all. In fact we probably discount most people we meet without a second glance. No chemistry! Well not acceptable for us anyway - that's because we are special. The trouble with this contemporary outlook is that it is based on a completely unrealistic set of expectations with goalposts that move by the dayLet is say that you are 30 and you have had two or three relationships previously. You have a semi decent career that is providing you with a reasonable lifestyle. You have a good set of friends, certain financial independence and a wide and varied set of ideals and tastes that are sophisticated and intelligent. You know what you are about and you know where you may be going. Okay great. So the problem is that you are looking for 'The One'. You are looking for the person who will compliment your lifestyle, your outlook, will be able to bring something to your already hectic lifestyle but will never ever ask you to compromise.
You are in charge of your own destiny and you don't need to compromise so why should you. After all if he is The One, it will all fall into place perfectly. Well you are in for a nasty shock my friends. Life isn't perfect, just switch on the news and look. Marriage isn't perfect as anyone married 40 years+ will happily relate. Everything in life needs working at, and everything in life comes with catches and hitches. There are a couple of key words I will come back to - 'compliment' and 'compromise'.
The problem is our current generations are growing up with expectations that are far exceeding availability. You are looking for the perfect man or woman, you are looking for that 'one' special person and yet amazingly it appears that those who are so selective appear to have heavily overvalued their own 'relationship wealth'. Who says that they have so much to offer. Who says that they are truly nice people who deserve someone. I constantly encounter the word 'compliment' on the profiles of my own dating sites. Women in particular are adept at stating that they are very choosey, that they can be difficult, that they don't suffer fools gladly and that they are very specific as to who they are looking for.
so, do you think your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist?
You are in charge of your own destiny and you don't need to compromise so why should you. After all if he is The One, it will all fall into place perfectly. Well you are in for a nasty shock my friends. Life isn't perfect, just switch on the news and look. Marriage isn't perfect as anyone married 40 years+ will happily relate. Everything in life needs working at, and everything in life comes with catches and hitches. There are a couple of key words I will come back to - 'compliment' and 'compromise'.
The problem is our current generations are growing up with expectations that are far exceeding availability. You are looking for the perfect man or woman, you are looking for that 'one' special person and yet amazingly it appears that those who are so selective appear to have heavily overvalued their own 'relationship wealth'. Who says that they have so much to offer. Who says that they are truly nice people who deserve someone. I constantly encounter the word 'compliment' on the profiles of my own dating sites. Women in particular are adept at stating that they are very choosey, that they can be difficult, that they don't suffer fools gladly and that they are very specific as to who they are looking for.
so, do you think your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist?
i must be one in a million...my profile doesnt read anythin like that...
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kakax33: I have a real difficulty with the subject of 'The One' at the moment because I am hearing the phrase mentioned daily yet I think it really has got out of control. I think we are mostly guilty of secretly setting our sights on the perfect person for a relationship and acknowledging anything at all resembling second-best as simply not acceptable at all. In fact we probably discount most people we meet without a second glance. No chemistry! Well not acceptable for us anyway - that's because we are special. The trouble with this contemporary outlook is that it is based on a completely unrealistic set of expectations with goalposts that move by the dayLet is say that you are 30 and you have had two or three relationships previously. You have a semi decent career that is providing you with a reasonable lifestyle. You have a good set of friends, certain financial independence and a wide and varied set of ideals and tastes that are sophisticated and intelligent. You know what you are about and you know where you may be going. Okay great. So the problem is that you are looking for 'The One'. You are looking for the person who will compliment your lifestyle, your outlook, will be able to bring something to your already hectic lifestyle but will never ever ask you to compromise.
You are in charge of your own destiny and you don't need to compromise so why should you. After all if he is The One, it will all fall into place perfectly. Well you are in for a nasty shock my friends. Life isn't perfect, just switch on the news and look. Marriage isn't perfect as anyone married 40 years+ will happily relate. Everything in life needs working at, and everything in life comes with catches and hitches. There are a couple of key words I will come back to - 'compliment' and 'compromise'.
The problem is our current generations are growing up with expectations that are far exceeding availability. You are looking for the perfect man or woman, you are looking for that 'one' special person and yet amazingly it appears that those who are so selective appear to have heavily overvalued their own 'relationship wealth'. Who says that they have so much to offer. Who says that they are truly nice people who deserve someone. I constantly encounter the word 'compliment' on the profiles of my own dating sites. Women in particular are adept at stating that they are very choosey, that they can be difficult, that they don't suffer fools gladly and that they are very specific as to who they are looking for.
so, do you think your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist?
You are in charge of your own destiny and you don't need to compromise so why should you. After all if he is The One, it will all fall into place perfectly. Well you are in for a nasty shock my friends. Life isn't perfect, just switch on the news and look. Marriage isn't perfect as anyone married 40 years+ will happily relate. Everything in life needs working at, and everything in life comes with catches and hitches. There are a couple of key words I will come back to - 'compliment' and 'compromise'.
The problem is our current generations are growing up with expectations that are far exceeding availability. You are looking for the perfect man or woman, you are looking for that 'one' special person and yet amazingly it appears that those who are so selective appear to have heavily overvalued their own 'relationship wealth'. Who says that they have so much to offer. Who says that they are truly nice people who deserve someone. I constantly encounter the word 'compliment' on the profiles of my own dating sites. Women in particular are adept at stating that they are very choosey, that they can be difficult, that they don't suffer fools gladly and that they are very specific as to who they are looking for.
so, do you think your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist?
Im happy as I am for now - life isnt too bad and I make out ok - Im happier in myself than I have ever been and it would take a special kind of man to make me consider changing things. I figure you can try too hard......
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HJFinAZ: "Progress", not perfection...
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kakax33: I have a real difficulty with the subject of 'The One' at the moment because I am hearing the phrase mentioned daily yet I think it really has got out of control. I think we are mostly guilty of secretly setting our sights on the perfect person for a relationship and acknowledging anything at all resembling second-best as simply not acceptable at all. In fact we probably discount most people we meet without a second glance. No chemistry! Well not acceptable for us anyway - that's because we are special. The trouble with this contemporary outlook is that it is based on a completely unrealistic set of expectations with goalposts that move by the day
Hi Kakax33,
I have to disagree here. I do not think anyone here is expecting perfection as no-one can be, and those that do are only fooling themselves. However, most at least want there to be some sort of compatibility, whether it be beliefs, politics, interests, etc.. the more the better..
In regards to chemistry, for me, that can only happen when you meet in person, though contact by other means can provide insight to each other & option is always there if one wishes to end it.
In response to: Let is say that you are 30 and you have had two or three relationships previously. You have a semi decent career that is providing you with a reasonable lifestyle. You have a good set of friends, certain financial independence and a wide and varied set of ideals and tastes that are sophisticated and intelligent. You know what you are about and you know where you may be going. Okay great. So the problem is that you are looking for 'The One'. You are looking for the person who will compliment your lifestyle, your outlook, will be able to bring something to your already hectic lifestyle but will never ever ask you to compromise.
I may have picked you up wrongly here but do not want them to compliment my lifestyle, I want the to be part of my life & create things together. As before similar outlooks on certain things can help, but that does not make it a determining factor, sometimes a persons individuality and what they believe in is part of the attraction, even though your own views differ. As for compromise, depends on the context, I would not want them to let me carry on as though I was still single, it is a balance of supporting each other, both as a couple but also as individuals who need their own space/interests as well.
Agree with 3rd para, but most people here would do so as they have experience from past relatiohsips to know it is no walk-in-the-park. Also, not all are looking for marriage.
In response to: The problem is our current generations are growing up with expectations that are far exceeding availability. You are looking for the perfect man or woman, you are looking for that 'one' special person and yet amazingly it appears that those who are so selective appear to have heavily overvalued their own 'relationship wealth'. Who says that they have so much to offer. Who says that they are truly nice people who deserve someone. I constantly encounter the word 'compliment' on the profiles of my own dating sites. Women in particular are adept at stating that they are very choosey, that they can be difficult, that they don't suffer fools gladly and that they are very specific as to who they are looking for.
You could be onto something here regarding younger generations, but it cannot be controlled and, to me, it is down to what family values and upbringing a person has had, though it is not an absolute. It is only be communucating with the other person do you get to know them, though there are some who can play a very good act to obtain a more materialistic value.
In response to: so, do you think your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist?
Not perfect, but one that suits me, yes.
Really good topic though and got the old grey cells working.
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Yash124g: Hi Kakax33,
I have to disagree here. I do not think anyone here is expecting perfection as no-one can be, and those that do are only fooling themselves. However, most at least want there to be some sort of compatibility, whether it be beliefs, politics, interests, etc.. the more the better..
In regards to chemistry, for me, that can only happen when you meet in person, though contact by other means can provide insight to each other & option is always there if one wishes to end it.
I may have picked you up wrongly here but do not want them to compliment my lifestyle, I want the to be part of my life & create things together. As before similar outlooks on certain things can help, but that does not make it a determining factor, sometimes a persons individuality and what they believe in is part of the attraction, even though your own views differ. As for compromise, depends on the context, I would not want them to let me carry on as though I was still single, it is a balance of supporting each other, both as a couple but also as individuals who need their own space/interests as well.
Agree with 3rd para, but most people here would do so as they have experience from past relatiohsips to know it is no walk-in-the-park. Also, not all are looking for marriage. You could be onto something here regarding younger generations, but it cannot be controlled and, to me, it is down to what family values and upbringing a person has had, though it is not an absolute. It is only be communucating with the other person do you get to know them, though there are some who can play a very good act to obtain a more materialistic value.
Not perfect, but one that suits me, yes.
Really good topic though and got the old grey cells working.
I have to disagree here. I do not think anyone here is expecting perfection as no-one can be, and those that do are only fooling themselves. However, most at least want there to be some sort of compatibility, whether it be beliefs, politics, interests, etc.. the more the better..
In regards to chemistry, for me, that can only happen when you meet in person, though contact by other means can provide insight to each other & option is always there if one wishes to end it.
I may have picked you up wrongly here but do not want them to compliment my lifestyle, I want the to be part of my life & create things together. As before similar outlooks on certain things can help, but that does not make it a determining factor, sometimes a persons individuality and what they believe in is part of the attraction, even though your own views differ. As for compromise, depends on the context, I would not want them to let me carry on as though I was still single, it is a balance of supporting each other, both as a couple but also as individuals who need their own space/interests as well.
Agree with 3rd para, but most people here would do so as they have experience from past relatiohsips to know it is no walk-in-the-park. Also, not all are looking for marriage. You could be onto something here regarding younger generations, but it cannot be controlled and, to me, it is down to what family values and upbringing a person has had, though it is not an absolute. It is only be communucating with the other person do you get to know them, though there are some who can play a very good act to obtain a more materialistic value.
Not perfect, but one that suits me, yes.
Really good topic though and got the old grey cells working.
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Let is say that you are 30 and you have had two or three relationships previously. You have a semi decent career that is providing you with a reasonable lifestyle. You have a good set of friends, certain financial independence and a wide and varied set of ideals and tastes that are sophisticated and intelligent. You know what you are about and you know where you may be going. Okay great. So the problem is that you are looking for 'The One'. You are looking for the person who will compliment your lifestyle, your outlook, will be able to bring something to your already hectic lifestyle but will never ever ask you to compromise.
You are in charge of your own destiny and you don't need to compromise so why should you. After all if he is The One, it will all fall into place perfectly. Well you are in for a nasty shock my friends. Life isn't perfect, just switch on the news and look. Marriage isn't perfect as anyone married 40 years+ will happily relate. Everything in life needs working at, and everything in life comes with catches and hitches. There are a couple of key words I will come back to - 'compliment' and 'compromise'.
The problem is our current generations are growing up with expectations that are far exceeding availability. You are looking for the perfect man or woman, you are looking for that 'one' special person and yet amazingly it appears that those who are so selective appear to have heavily overvalued their own 'relationship wealth'. Who says that they have so much to offer. Who says that they are truly nice people who deserve someone. I constantly encounter the word 'compliment' on the profiles of my own dating sites. Women in particular are adept at stating that they are very choosey, that they can be difficult, that they don't suffer fools gladly and that they are very specific as to who they are looking for.
so, do you think your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist?