How do you cope? (63)
odessaukraine48odessa, Uzbekistan26 Threads 925 Postsas someone who lost his father a little over 4 years ago.its never easy. i was never really close to my father. but think lots of people misread me. i did not hate him. but even today i still think of him. its never easy. god bless you.
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druidess6308: No doubt, CJ. Wow...that one brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks. I cry with Gratitude everytime I am reminded that I am still one of Daddy's Little Girls.
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bestat45: Thank you Dru. I have had most of my tears when he was in hospital so diminished last January. And i knew that he was getting worse, but, he seemed to be doing better prior to that. He has never let anything best him in his life. Including having his leg almost severed and almost dying before. (chain saw accident). He was a very tough man, and i think that has been the hardest for him by far. But, his physical symptoms have now gone way down hill. And he is giving up.
Maybe miracles can happen. I am certainly hoping for one.
Thank you also for sharing and your thoughts.
Maybe miracles can happen. I am certainly hoping for one.
Thank you also for sharing and your thoughts.
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roseofsharon: If that is the case, I think it should be all about HIM?!! Make sure its a Christmas to remember and his remaining time is special and filled with love....
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Laura25: Sorry, Bestat
Even though I've been there with my dad, I don't have any advice how to handle it. It's hard.
The best you can do is spending as much time as you can with your dad.
You don't have to pretend all is fine, he knows where he stands. Just be there for him and share your love.
Even though I've been there with my dad, I don't have any advice how to handle it. It's hard.
The best you can do is spending as much time as you can with your dad.
You don't have to pretend all is fine, he knows where he stands. Just be there for him and share your love.
Wise Words, Laura.
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galwaydave: How would any of you handle it when your mom tells you that she thinks that it will be your dad's last Christmas? He had a major stroke last year, and is starting to go down hill in the last few weeks, and isn't doing very well now.
I feel like i am going to throw up just hearing this. My son and I are supposed to go down Christmas Day, and will have to pretend that everything is semi fine.
I have seen that he has not been doing well, and there is not much that anyone can do, as he is of the old school, and does not beleive in seeing the doctor overly much.
I think the fact that he has lost alot of the ability to do things he used to has affected him badly as well, and maybe he is just giving up.
Any advice would be appreciated.
thank you
hope
I feel like i am going to throw up just hearing this. My son and I are supposed to go down Christmas Day, and will have to pretend that everything is semi fine.
I have seen that he has not been doing well, and there is not much that anyone can do, as he is of the old school, and does not beleive in seeing the doctor overly much.
I think the fact that he has lost alot of the ability to do things he used to has affected him badly as well, and maybe he is just giving up.
Any advice would be appreciated.
thank you
hope
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bestat45: i agree totally with this. It will be about my dad as much as we can. he is not a showy man, but, i know it will mean something that we can be there on Christmas. My sister and nephew will be there as well. Both grandsons.
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DonDon67: Sorry to hear that for your family, but the answer you seek is time. Pray to god for strenght and grace in this time but make them happy. You will be fine, just time is the only thing that heals and draw close to your mother for she is gonna need you now more than ever. My prayers are with you and yours, God bless you and us on cs.
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odessaukraine48: as someone who lost his father a little over 4 years ago.its never easy. i was never really close to my father. but think lots of people misread me. i did not hate him. but even today i still think of him. its never easy. god bless you.
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Hope you find a way to come to terms with the situation. I lost my father 10 years ago due to a very invasive cancer...I need to add that I was pregnant of my youngest, and he never got to meet her. To celebrate his last birthday (he died at 63) was devastating for all of us. He passed 3 months after.
I still get angry for not being able to talk more to him. You see, he had hearing problems, and in his late years he wouldn't use the hearing device because it hurted him more than it helped. He used to say that one of the things he regretted the most was that he was never able to hear my son's voice (he was his favorite grandson, although he had three more and a granddaughter-my child as well-my son was his favorite) so, I it was challenging trying to talk to him.
So, I would suggest that you talk to him, as much as you can, about books, movies, poestry, plants, whatever he likes...and cherish those conversations for ever...
I still get angry for not being able to talk more to him. You see, he had hearing problems, and in his late years he wouldn't use the hearing device because it hurted him more than it helped. He used to say that one of the things he regretted the most was that he was never able to hear my son's voice (he was his favorite grandson, although he had three more and a granddaughter-my child as well-my son was his favorite) so, I it was challenging trying to talk to him.
So, I would suggest that you talk to him, as much as you can, about books, movies, poestry, plants, whatever he likes...and cherish those conversations for ever...
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when my father passed. i had called him up at home. he told me he had heartburn. then we had little argument about him not going to doctor. i got to his house. knocked on door. no answer. knocked again no answer. i kicked the front door in. he was sitting in his chair dead. i tried CPR. no use. i can never forget that moment.
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OUTRAGEOUS: Hope you find a way to come to terms with the situation. I lost my father 10 years ago due to a very invasive cancer...I need to add that I was pregnant of my youngest, and he never got to meet her. To celebrate his last birthday (he died at 63) was devastating for all of us. He passed 3 months after.
I still get angry for not being able to talk more to him. You see, he had hearing problems, and in his late years he wouldn't use the hearing device because it hurted him more than it helped. He used to say that one of the things he regretted the most was that he was never able to hear my son's voice (he was his favorite grandson, although he had three more and a granddaughter-my child as well-my son was his favorite) so, I it was challenging trying to talk to him.
So, I would suggest that you talk to him, as much as you can, about books, movies, poestry, plants, whatever he likes...and cherish those conversations for ever...
I still get angry for not being able to talk more to him. You see, he had hearing problems, and in his late years he wouldn't use the hearing device because it hurted him more than it helped. He used to say that one of the things he regretted the most was that he was never able to hear my son's voice (he was his favorite grandson, although he had three more and a granddaughter-my child as well-my son was his favorite) so, I it was challenging trying to talk to him.
So, I would suggest that you talk to him, as much as you can, about books, movies, poestry, plants, whatever he likes...and cherish those conversations for ever...
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at times i wish my father was still around to scream at me. or whatever.
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odessaukraine48: when my father passed. i had called him up at home. he told me he had heartburn. then we had little argument about him not going to doctor. i got to his house. knocked on door. no answer. knocked again no answer. i kicked the front door in. he was sitting in his chair dead. i tried CPR. no use. i can never forget that moment.
OMG!!! I am so sorry. You should not blame yourself though. I know that is easier said than done.
The night b4 my Dad died. He got into a rare argument with all of us Kids. He wanted to watch a Family Show that night, We all responded He promised we could Watch Godzilla, We were next to never allowed to watch TV.
I regretted that for years.
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this is a very hard time for you and your family but you must be strong for your dad talk and listen to him and this will help you both. life is very hard but rem all the good things that your dad has achieved and i am sure that you are one of them dont try to do too much for him a his independence is one thing that he values above all else you will get through this as hard as it may seem at the moment the stronger you are the stronger it will make your dad i know that you are minding dad at the moment but take care of your mother now too as she needs u too you are in my thoughts
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started a new job in London 5 years ago two days later my dad died and for some reason my family did not tell me and I never got to say goodbye to my dad, so my heart goes out to you.
I know it’s hard but all you can do is be there for him eh!
I know it’s hard but all you can do is be there for him eh!
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You cope one step and one day at a time. Let them know they are loved, take time to appriciate this christmas not worry about the fact he will not be there next and please lean on us any time you need to.
my thoughts go out to you hun,... hugs...
my thoughts go out to you hun,... hugs...
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bestat45: How would any of you handle it when your mom tells you that she thinks that it will be your dad's last Christmas? He had a major stroke last year, and is starting to go down hill in the last few weeks, and isn't doing very well now.
I feel like i am going to throw up just hearing this. My son and I are supposed to go down Christmas Day, and will have to pretend that everything is semi fine.
I have seen that he has not been doing well, and there is not much that anyone can do, as he is of the old school, and does not beleive in seeing the doctor overly much.
I think the fact that he has lost alot of the ability to do things he used to has affected him badly as well, and maybe he is just giving up.
Any advice would be appreciated.
thank you
I feel like i am going to throw up just hearing this. My son and I are supposed to go down Christmas Day, and will have to pretend that everything is semi fine.
I have seen that he has not been doing well, and there is not much that anyone can do, as he is of the old school, and does not beleive in seeing the doctor overly much.
I think the fact that he has lost alot of the ability to do things he used to has affected him badly as well, and maybe he is just giving up.
Any advice would be appreciated.
thank you
i know wat ur feeling i have gone throught to with voth parents, all u can do is spend time with him, but here is a hint dont spend so much time with that when he does die, that it will crush you, i did that with both parents and i almost killed myself, i ened up under constant supervision, but just spend time with him go for a walk with him but give him his space, trust it would piss me off if i knew i was going to die and everyone was with me all the time think it from his point of view wat would he like,
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sorry darling,i read this too late,i hope u are with him now and spending the days with him,we will pray for him and your family..hope there is some miracle can help him if he is not believing in modern medication ..god bless him and all of your family
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"Sing 'Santa Maria' for the time has come
Sing 'Santa Maria" all the work is done
Lay down by the river, until the day has flown
Lay down by the river, until the light has gone
Sing sweet my darlin', all your cares have gone
Sing sweetly darlin' before you leave me alone
I'll lay you by the river, and listen with all my heart
I'll lay you by the river, until it's time to part
I'll take you to the river, to watch the failing sun
I'll lay you by the river, until the time has come."
I wrote this song when someone special.....
Stay strong...your loved ones may need it. My heart goes out to you. I have no advice nor answers I'm afraid
Sing 'Santa Maria" all the work is done
Lay down by the river, until the day has flown
Lay down by the river, until the light has gone
Sing sweet my darlin', all your cares have gone
Sing sweetly darlin' before you leave me alone
I'll lay you by the river, and listen with all my heart
I'll lay you by the river, until it's time to part
I'll take you to the river, to watch the failing sun
I'll lay you by the river, until the time has come."
I wrote this song when someone special.....
Stay strong...your loved ones may need it. My heart goes out to you. I have no advice nor answers I'm afraid
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