Depression/helpless feelings in men ( Archived) (66)

This is abit of a touchy subject I guesse for some of us. But I know there are many guys that have certain issues that may be bothering them, and may be putting them down or make them anxious and just experiencing very rough feelings. With all this talk about guys being matcho and stuff, and where men shouldn't feel vulnerable emotions, it buts that much more stress on many of us. I know ladies go through these moods of depression and similar issues. How do women generally feel about this, and do they see this as a big turn off, and is it something that brings disgrace to us guys. I mean I know it shouldn't, but I sometimes wonder based on some of the things I read and saw. How do guys deal with it. They say it's important to be around people, and I know that it helps, but what if your depression or anxiety keeps you isolated from others for fear of rejection or being hurt in some way, or because others may not like something about you, and they therefore don't want to hang around or let alone offer some help.

What are peoples attitudes both mens and womens, about this issue, especially as it pertains to men in this case, but also women can add their experiences too.

I think it is cool when you can see that something is just not right. When you can see it or feel it, then you can probably fix it. It isn't going to be a quick fix, just depends on how it's done.
I wonder if it might be a good idea just to speak with a professional to make sure it isn't something clinical ?
And then seek advise for a plan to overcome these obstacles
All is good mon !!

Oksata,
Excellent post. People need to talk about this subject more.(jmho) I think there is still a strong stigma attached to depression specifically and mental illness in general. Attitudes like "I wish he would just snap out of it" are still persistent.People need to talk about these issues to gain understanding. The women in my life have been compassionate but, frankly there is little that can be done when I'm having a "spell" as I call it.

Anxiety or depression is not gender based at all, so I don´t really understand why you are focusing on the "macho male" side of it.

As for understanding or empathising with a sufferer, well that depends on the individual I suppose.

Personally, and being completely honest here, I would be extremely wary of entering a relationship with someone who had a history of depression. I can quite readily offer help if I can to people who are suffering, and I have done so, but a relationship is a completely different kettle of fish, and not to be taken lightly.

You would be surprised at how many people will respond positively to your openess and how accepting they can be of these issues.

Try not to dwell on it too much, you have to remember there is more to you than just your illness or depression, if you show enough of your good qualities then people will like you.

I know that depression and anxiety are not gender based, and what I meant by the "macho" comment, was that in society many people seem to expect men to tough it out and not share or not talk to others about how they feel, no matter how bad it may be. So in other words many men seem to suffer in silence, and not know how to communicate how they feel because of feeling pressure or anxiety of being looked at differently or ridiculed. It's like you want to reach out so bad, but the fear or uncertainty is stopping you or making you nervous about opening yourself.

Hello all the way from Hawaii:
I really feel that, it's very important for the individual to be themselves always. We just add too much stress being what we are not. I feel terrible and angry at times and it must show in my face for no one, bothers me when I feel this way! I know that sometimes we expect things from people, but I've found out to be happy, is to be ourselves. I watch television, and am glad when they show the oops moments in life, for it shows that we are human not some programed thing that behaves the way it should. If an oldster or senior citizen wants to wear red lipstick who says it's not done! Let them be them. If a gentleman wants to cry, let them. Crying relieves a lot of stress and pressure.
We are human, and very proud of our humanity. If we didn't feel what will we be?
Being ourselves, that's the key to the future. I'm so glad you, wrote this blog. It is good to be alive and to feel. When we want too much of the negative that's when we got to share it a bit and find out that we are not alone. Just google or yahoo it you'll see.
From one human to another,
hn2009

I suppose you´re right in some ways, but these days there is surely no societal stigma in admitting to depression, whether one is male or female, at least not amongst the people I know.

Fear to reach out is psychological, not because there is nobody to offer a helping hand. There is always someone, whether it is a friend or a professional.

You know I was going to write you a reason for saying this but it was sooo long did not want to put everyone asleep. There is nothing wrong with sharing your feelings. It is a part of communication. Closeness and intimacy.