Depression/helpless feelings in men (66)
gemeh22layton, Utah USA11 Threads 3,471 PostsI would much rather have a man be able to come to me and express his feelings - if he's depressed or sad i want to be able to be there for them - i wouldnt want them to keep it bottled up inside and make it worse.
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Oksata: This is abit of a touchy subject I guesse for some of us. But I know there are many guys that have certain issues that may be bothering them, and may be putting them down or make them anxious and just experiencing very rough feelings. With all this talk about guys being matcho and stuff, and where men shouldn't feel vulnerable emotions, it buts that much more stress on many of us. I know ladies go through these moods of depression and similar issues. How do women generally feel about this, and do they see this as a big turn off, and is it something that brings disgrace to us guys. I mean I know it shouldn't, but I sometimes wonder based on some of the things I read and saw. How do guys deal with it. They say it's important to be around people, and I know that it helps, but what if your depression or anxiety keeps you isolated from others for fear of rejection or being hurt in some way, or because others may not like something about you, and they therefore don't want to hang around or let alone offer some help.
What are peoples attitudes both mens and womens, about this issue, especially as it pertains to men in this case, but also women can add their experiences too.
What are peoples attitudes both mens and womens, about this issue, especially as it pertains to men in this case, but also women can add their experiences too.
Hey, Handsome, I don't if you're speaking about yourself in the above, although I would tend to think you are. Let me just say that there is a very real danger in isolating yourself when you are experiencing depression. If you can't find an empathetic friend to talk to, please see a counselor.
Men with deep feelings do not turn me off. I am a deep thinking and feeling person - despite what anyone may have seen me post on the forums. I am alway open to talk to people about stuff, and have often gone off the forums to talk to people privately when I see that they are suffering and need to vent. A man willing to talk openly is a HUGE turn on for me, as long as the sentiment is mutual. If it isn't, that's ok, but it becomes a therapeutic relationship as opposed to a friendship / relationship. There's nothing wrong with either scenario, as long as the boundaries are clear. If you are looking for a woman who wants to listen to you, be willing to listen to her. Be the friend you wish you had.
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Blues63: academic...proof-read
Now, a man that can actually spell????? That's a TOTAL turn-on!!!
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LadyPhoenix1965: Hey, Handsome, I don't if you're speaking about yourself in the above, although I would tend to think you are. Let me just say that there is a very real danger in isolating yourself when you are experiencing depression. If you can't find an empathetic friend to talk to, please see a counselor.
Men with deep feelings do not turn me off. I am a deep thinking and feeling person - despite what anyone may have seen me post on the forums. I am alway open to talk to people about stuff, and have often gone off the forums to talk to people privately when I see that they are suffering and need to vent. A man willing to talk openly is a HUGE turn on for me, as long as the sentiment is mutual. If it isn't, that's ok, but it becomes a therapeutic relationship as opposed to a friendship / relationship. There's nothing wrong with either scenario, as long as the boundaries are clear. If you are looking for a woman who wants to listen to you, be willing to listen to her. Be the friend you wish you had.
Men with deep feelings do not turn me off. I am a deep thinking and feeling person - despite what anyone may have seen me post on the forums. I am alway open to talk to people about stuff, and have often gone off the forums to talk to people privately when I see that they are suffering and need to vent. A man willing to talk openly is a HUGE turn on for me, as long as the sentiment is mutual. If it isn't, that's ok, but it becomes a therapeutic relationship as opposed to a friendship / relationship. There's nothing wrong with either scenario, as long as the boundaries are clear. If you are looking for a woman who wants to listen to you, be willing to listen to her. Be the friend you wish you had.
Wanna discuss my feelings?
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gemeh22: I would much rather have a man be able to come to me and express his feelings - if he's depressed or sad i want to be able to be there for them - i wouldnt want them to keep it bottled up inside and make it worse.
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LadyPhoenix1965: Now, a man that can actually spell????? That's a TOTAL turn-on!!!
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Blues63: Wanna discuss my feelings?
Anytime, Baby. Just drop me a line...
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TurkishDelight: It's Ireland we are talking about here..land of discrimination and predjudice. I also have a close friend who is a GP, suffers from Bi-Polar. He maintains himself very well, recognises when he needs space and take it. He finds himself being discriminated against within the medical field over his condition.....
Thats an unfair comment to make about our country
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Oksata: This is abit of a touchy subject I guesse for some of us. But I know there are many guys that have certain issues that may be bothering them, and may be putting them down or make them anxious and just experiencing very rough feelings. With all this talk about guys being matcho and stuff, and where men shouldn't feel vulnerable emotions, it buts that much more stress on many of us. I know ladies go through these moods of depression and similar issues. How do women generally feel about this, and do they see this as a big turn off, and is it something that brings disgrace to us guys. I mean I know it shouldn't, but I sometimes wonder based on some of the things I read and saw. How do guys deal with it. They say it's important to be around people, and I know that it helps, but what if your depression or anxiety keeps you isolated from others for fear of rejection or being hurt in some way, or because others may not like something about you, and they therefore don't want to hang around or let alone offer some help.
What are peoples attitudes both mens and womens, about this issue, especially as it pertains to men in this case, but also women can add their experiences too.
What are peoples attitudes both mens and womens, about this issue, especially as it pertains to men in this case, but also women can add their experiences too.
I found it comforting to be around people that had the issues I had. A support group and a doctor worked for me. Good luck and seek a support group like us here at cs
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ph3nom3nalwoman: perhaps its more difficult for a man, as society dictates that men should handle the world on their shoulder and not ask for help along the way. we tend to have an unrealistic view of men. sure I want a strong man in my life, but that strength is shown in many forms. asking for help or advice is not weakness, its intelligence. It's showing you are humble (a very prized attribute in my books) There is a lot of wisdom around, and you are not expected to know everything by yourself. A truly wise man will seek the advice and assistance of those around that he loves and trusts. If men could do everything on their own, then why did God create us women as a helpmate. what would we be helping. Isolating yourself is dangerous and plain full of pride. you will be no good to anyone if you just bottle up all the issues of life and try to be productive.
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suggasugga: I found it comforting to be around people that had the issues I had. A support group and a doctor worked for me. Good luck and seek a support group like us here at cs
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Depending on the level and type.In endogenous depression[worst type],the culprit looses interest with the environment.Once the feeling of worthlessness sets in, the next thing is suicidal attempt.Usually in this type the person do not verbalize his problem.You may meet him on the way to kill himself and may just smile to you and say nothing
In exogenous type, this one is very common.At least each one of us has suffered this at one time in our life.A person will verbalise his feelings and if in a deeper level will seek solutions from friends and relatives.At superficial level it may last for a day os two and will disappear without much intervention.It all depends with factors causing the same
In exogenous type, this one is very common.At least each one of us has suffered this at one time in our life.A person will verbalise his feelings and if in a deeper level will seek solutions from friends and relatives.At superficial level it may last for a day os two and will disappear without much intervention.It all depends with factors causing the same
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serene56: Well said .. reading through the replies to this thread, I can see many different opinions and experiences.
As with any other form of mental health issue, people can tend to offer well-meaning advice without having any insight into the problem and this is perfectly understandable .. no one's born with this knowledge.
Depression is a very frightening illness especially when it comes upon you without warning, although after repeated episodes you possibly learn to recognise the warning signs .. sometimes you can weather the storm ok and sometimes not so good. Isolation is quite a common reaction it seems - it's definitely mine.
And as you said, it affects both men and women .. why should men be expected to cope with it and "get over it" any more than women?
So, cheers to the OP .. thank you for bringing this out into the open for discussion.
And to all who suffer the horrendous and frightening black dog
You're not alone
As with any other form of mental health issue, people can tend to offer well-meaning advice without having any insight into the problem and this is perfectly understandable .. no one's born with this knowledge.
Depression is a very frightening illness especially when it comes upon you without warning, although after repeated episodes you possibly learn to recognise the warning signs .. sometimes you can weather the storm ok and sometimes not so good. Isolation is quite a common reaction it seems - it's definitely mine.
And as you said, it affects both men and women .. why should men be expected to cope with it and "get over it" any more than women?
So, cheers to the OP .. thank you for bringing this out into the open for discussion.
And to all who suffer the horrendous and frightening black dog
You're not alone
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Dmire: Depending on the level and type.In endogenous depression[worst type],the culprit looses interest with the environment.Once the feeling of worthlessness sets in, the next thing is suicidal attempt.Usually in this type the person do not verbalize his problem.You may meet him on the way to kill himself and may just smile to you and say nothing
In exogenous type, this one is very common.At least each one of us has suffered this at one time in our life.A person will verbalise his feelings and if in a deeper level will seek solutions from friends and relatives.At superficial level it may last for a day os two and will disappear without much intervention.It all depends with factors causing the same
In exogenous type, this one is very common.At least each one of us has suffered this at one time in our life.A person will verbalise his feelings and if in a deeper level will seek solutions from friends and relatives.At superficial level it may last for a day os two and will disappear without much intervention.It all depends with factors causing the same
I see myself in both of them. Been there, done them both. Isn't there a 3rd one, as a combination? Or maybe I am just different/special?
Despite all, most of the times I still loved myself to bits 
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Unless it is deemed as a serious case, I would not seek the help of a psychiatrist... I nearly fell into the trap by being referred to one through my stupid f#$%^ psychologist for medication only (that I never needed in the first place) and felt like I was just going to be bounced back and forth like a god damn hot potato.
Depression is rated as the most debilitating diseases, mostly because if it's not treated (let alone recognised early) can manifest into serious problems...
Recognising the fact that you have depression alone is the battle half fought already. After that, it's more or less just riding out the storm and going with the motions...
Hope that helps
Depression is rated as the most debilitating diseases, mostly because if it's not treated (let alone recognised early) can manifest into serious problems...
Recognising the fact that you have depression alone is the battle half fought already. After that, it's more or less just riding out the storm and going with the motions...
Hope that helps
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Liebe2: I see myself in both of them. Been there, done them both. Isn't there a 3rd one, as a combination? Or maybe I am just different/special? Despite all, most of the times I still loved myself to bits
you took the words right outta my post 
mine can definitely last more than a day or two and I certainly don't discuss it with friends or family .. and I have experienced the first example - but I'm still here.The exogenous example sounds more like someone who's a bit down, or has the blues, or is upset about something .. I wouldn't necessarily class this as depression
jmo
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Yes this does apply to me to an extent, although it is not as bad as it was in years past, but it's a stronghold that it still has. It's not just the depressed moods and anxiety, but the confusion and all the things I read or hear about, and just generally how some people are and from my personal experience, it can get really discouraging and that is what makes this so difficult. Also when I read or hear of others that have gone through similar situations and feel the same way, it gets top me also. It's complicated, because alot of times you really do feel nervous to speak out about this, because it's a complicated issue first off, and second again for the critcism and reactions that some people may give back.
However, I thank the people that have posted and messaged me about this and said helpful words, I really appreciate it!!!!.
However, I thank the people that have posted and messaged me about this and said helpful words, I really appreciate it!!!!.
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ooops, sorry Kali, I didn't get past mjames post before replying or I would have seen you already said what I posted...
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jbibiza: I really hate these sorts of comments when the subject of depression comes up. Everyone has rough times and goes through periods of feeling the blues...this is NOT depression. Clinical depression is a chemical inbalance in the brain that sometimes corrects itself with time or needs medication, the problem with trying to let the body correct the imbalance is that due to the effects of depression people can become suicidal and are dead before the brain adjusts.
It's not a matter of pulling yourself together...would you tell a diabetic to pull himself together? Because the imbalance is in the brain and the symptoms are emotional rather then physical people tend to think you have some kind of control over it... You don't.
It's not a matter of pulling yourself together...would you tell a diabetic to pull himself together? Because the imbalance is in the brain and the symptoms are emotional rather then physical people tend to think you have some kind of control over it... You don't.
Totally agree... I hate it too when people hang innappropriate labels on things, especially when they are feeling down, so they say they are depressed.
Another one is the stress label.... I once heard a 6 year old saying they were stressed..... where the hell did that come from.
Having lived with a manic depressive all my life, my Mother, who was on 29 different drugs a day until recently, it rather galls me to hear people say they are depressed because they just split with a partner/lover etc. etc.
Get a life people, or if you really do think you are deprressed, then seek medical help
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jbibiza: ooops, sorry Kali, I didn't get past mjames post before replying or I would have seen you already said what I posted...
lol
Thats ok hun, I did the same when I posted lol.
Annoys me to.
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