Friend? (42)
Amity: I help run a forum with some friends i have known for over 3 years now, its just a social outlet and keeps us all in contact.
It has come to our attention that one of our friends is not who she appears to be.
In fact we have been given some information from another source that the pic she has is not her.
Other members and staff on the site are furious and are discussing behind her back on what action to take.
Bare in mind we have ALL known each other for 3 years.
Why am i writing this is because i do not know how to deal with it.
I can not involve myself in the slagging off of a close friend, just because her picture isnt her. Shes still the same person to me.
Or am i being made a fool of?
Any advice welcome.
It has come to our attention that one of our friends is not who she appears to be.
In fact we have been given some information from another source that the pic she has is not her.
Other members and staff on the site are furious and are discussing behind her back on what action to take.
Bare in mind we have ALL known each other for 3 years.
Why am i writing this is because i do not know how to deal with it.
I can not involve myself in the slagging off of a close friend, just because her picture isnt her. Shes still the same person to me.
Or am i being made a fool of?
Any advice welcome.
On MY domains in forums, membership, groups, etc..
The rules are set.. and as owner/moderator, etc..
it is MY job to maintain stability and govern that
ALL abide as equal..
(although my places are democratic..
I maintain FINAL word)
I don't know if it is YOUR place..
or you simply moderate..
But "discussions" about keeping a "sock-puppet"
do not seem ( to me ) as "the way to go" ..
Confront the offender.. give them the guidelines..
and..
they either conform or are GONE..!!!
Just MY opinion..
yours may vary...
---SoldierByte--- 
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SoldierByte: On MY domains in forums, membership, groups, etc..
The rules are set.. and as owner/moderator, etc..
it is MY job to maintain stability and govern that
ALL abide as equal..
(although my places are democratic..
I maintain FINAL word)
I don't know if it is YOUR place..
or you simply moderate..
But "discussions" about keeping a "sock-puppet"
do not seem ( to me ) as "the way to go" ..
Confront the offender.. give them the guidelines..
and..
they either conform or are GONE..!!!
Just MY opinion..
yours may vary...
---SoldierByte---
The rules are set.. and as owner/moderator, etc..
it is MY job to maintain stability and govern that
ALL abide as equal..
(although my places are democratic..
I maintain FINAL word)
I don't know if it is YOUR place..
or you simply moderate..
But "discussions" about keeping a "sock-puppet"
do not seem ( to me ) as "the way to go" ..
Confront the offender.. give them the guidelines..
and..
they either conform or are GONE..!!!
Just MY opinion..
yours may vary...
---SoldierByte---
We have rules etc...but the forum was established for us as friends.
I guess im trying to define whether she was ashamed of her own picture so placed a fake one.
If thats the case....that does not make her a different person right? It just means she has issues accepting her true self.
Im a lil confused about the whole situation.
This is someone i chat to on the phone, who i considered a very close friend.
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Amity: We have rules etc...but the forum was established for us as friends.
I guess im trying to define whether she was ashamed of her own picture so placed a fake one.
If thats the case....that does not make her a different person right? It just means she has issues accepting her true self.
Im a lil confused about the whole situation.
This is someone i chat to on the phone, who i considered a very close friend.
I guess im trying to define whether she was ashamed of her own picture so placed a fake one.
If thats the case....that does not make her a different person right? It just means she has issues accepting her true self.
Im a lil confused about the whole situation.
This is someone i chat to on the phone, who i considered a very close friend.
It might be my ignorance..
or even my lack of brain power..
although MY range of "friends" may be limited..
my "friends" neither lie to me,
show me fake pics as their own,
or pretend to be what they are not..
BUT..
then again.,. I been married five times,
and now am upon a date site trying
to trick.. errr.. I mean find me a gal
that will love the crap out of me..
So.. to each their own..
we all make our OWN "bed"..
and AGAIN..
Just my opinion,
yours may vary..
---SoldierByte--- 
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Hello there,
I guess if she wanted a financial gain by acting as scammer then you better report her to the moderator and if she doesn't feel comfortable to put her own picture for personal reason then I think your better forgive her or move on.
She is just your friend nothing more I guess.
Don't get offended to quickly by people here as this the www (Word Wide Web) .
I guess if she wanted a financial gain by acting as scammer then you better report her to the moderator and if she doesn't feel comfortable to put her own picture for personal reason then I think your better forgive her or move on.
She is just your friend nothing more I guess.
Don't get offended to quickly by people here as this the www (Word Wide Web) .
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Amity: Thats what i think..but the others are collaborating some many things against her, and its the most horrible thing to read when people you assumed where friend ripping holes in another.
So as a close friend to i tell her? Or do i try to ignore the malice and just continue as normal.
So as a close friend to i tell her? Or do i try to ignore the malice and just continue as normal.
You’ve known her for 3 years and now this comes up. If you consider her a close friend why not talk to her about it instead of having everyone discuss it behind her back. Tell her the truth about why you’re asking her the question and if it’s true ask why she did this. She may have good reasons but are they valid, I think she broke the trust but then she maybe someone who lacks self confidence or other and might need help from the rest of the group. That’ll be your call to make.
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Onlyguy: You’ve known her for 3 years and now this comes up. If you consider her a close friend why not talk to her about it instead of having everyone discuss it behind her back. Tell her the truth about why you’re asking her the question and if it’s true ask why she did this. She may have good reasons but are they valid, I think she broke the trust but then she maybe someone who lacks self confidence or other and might need help from the rest of the group. That’ll be your call to make.
I REALLY REALLY want to speak to her, but as a member of staff it means i am leaking information from the staff area to her, and that would mean i would be turned on.
Its a choice i think over how much my friendship is worth. And i dont think i can live reading other things being said without trying to speak to her.
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amity!
fter 3 years you did not exchange email addresses,numbers,you did not chat with vebcam at least if you had not been able to meet in real?!
here all the time people are saying whoever asked for your email is a scammer.but you need it after a while i think.
fter 3 years you did not exchange email addresses,numbers,you did not chat with vebcam at least if you had not been able to meet in real?!
here all the time people are saying whoever asked for your email is a scammer.but you need it after a while i think.
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Amity: I help run a forum with some friends i have known for over 3 years now, its just a social outlet and keeps us all in contact.
It has come to our attention that one of our friends is not who she appears to be.
In fact we have been given some information from another source that the pic she has is not her.
Other members and staff on the site are furious and are discussing behind her back on what action to take.
Bare in mind we have ALL known each other for 3 years.
Why am i writing this is because i do not know how to deal with it.
I can not involve myself in the slagging off of a close friend, just because her picture isnt her. Shes still the same person to me.
Or am i being made a fool of?
Any advice welcome.
It has come to our attention that one of our friends is not who she appears to be.
In fact we have been given some information from another source that the pic she has is not her.
Other members and staff on the site are furious and are discussing behind her back on what action to take.
Bare in mind we have ALL known each other for 3 years.
Why am i writing this is because i do not know how to deal with it.
I can not involve myself in the slagging off of a close friend, just because her picture isnt her. Shes still the same person to me.
Or am i being made a fool of?
Any advice welcome.
Hi Amity..
Have you actually met this person face to face yet? I guess not, thought, otherwise you would know what she looks like!
Well, it happens. Thats the problem with this virtual world we participate in. Anyone can do anything, with no recourse to them, because its almost impossible to check out.
As a founder of the site, I agree that you cannot or should not get involved in any slagging. Thats not professional, although I know of other sites where it has happened.
Depending up the forum rules you and your friends set out, unless she causes any aggro, or breaks any forum rules I cant see there is much to do.
From your own personal point of view, I would err on the wary side about how much you talk to her and what about until this uncertainty is cleared up..if it is..
Good luck..
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strict: amity!
fter 3 years you did not exchange email addresses,numbers,you did not chat with vebcam at least if you had not been able to meet in real?!
here all the time people are saying whoever asked for your email is a scammer.but you need it after a while i think.
fter 3 years you did not exchange email addresses,numbers,you did not chat with vebcam at least if you had not been able to meet in real?!
here all the time people are saying whoever asked for your email is a scammer.but you need it after a while i think.
We exchanged emails and fone numbers...i talk to her all the time!!
I didnt webcam with her as it never arose and i guess we didnt fancy each other enough to stare at each others mugs
I believe you can have online friends who you never have to meet....it doesnt make them less of a friend
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Amity: I REALLY REALLY want to speak to her, but as a member of staff it means i am leaking information from the staff area to her, and that would mean i would be turned on.
Its a choice i think over how much my friendship is worth. And i dont think i can live reading other things being said without trying to speak to her.
Its a choice i think over how much my friendship is worth. And i dont think i can live reading other things being said without trying to speak to her.
In that case how about discussing it with the others and suggesting that you or someone else discuss it with her to get the facts before doing anything about it.
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Amity: We exchanged emails and fone numbers...i talk to her all the time!!
I didnt webcam with her as it never arose and i guess we didnt fancy each other enough to stare at each others mugs
I believe you can have online friends who you never have to meet....it doesnt make them less of a friend
so you mean she did not put her real pic and thats all?nothing wrong happened during this time?I didnt webcam with her as it never arose and i guess we didnt fancy each other enough to stare at each others mugs
I believe you can have online friends who you never have to meet....it doesnt make them less of a friend
i dono why somebody may do such
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trust nobody. lol. i think that she has lied to you for three years. that says something about your friendship.
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Amity: I help run a forum with some friends i have known for over 3 years now, its just a social outlet and keeps us all in contact.
It has come to our attention that one of our friends is not who she appears to be.
In fact we have been given some information from another source that the pic she has is not her.
Other members and staff on the site are furious and are discussing behind her back on what action to take.
Bare in mind we have ALL known each other for 3 years.
Why am i writing this is because i do not know how to deal with it.
I can not involve myself in the slagging off of a close friend, just because her picture isnt her. Shes still the same person to me.
Or am i being made a fool of?
Any advice welcome.
It has come to our attention that one of our friends is not who she appears to be.
In fact we have been given some information from another source that the pic she has is not her.
Other members and staff on the site are furious and are discussing behind her back on what action to take.
Bare in mind we have ALL known each other for 3 years.
Why am i writing this is because i do not know how to deal with it.
I can not involve myself in the slagging off of a close friend, just because her picture isnt her. Shes still the same person to me.
Or am i being made a fool of?
Any advice welcome.
You know...there is a difference between a friend and a acquaintance... but as you stated ,she is a friend ....
we cannot chose our family (mother, father..even children).. but friends we can chose ... therefore ..if she was able to hide her real identity for three years ...the friendship was one sided
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ChiGuy: trust nobody. lol. i think that she has lied to you for three years. that says something about your friendship.
ChiGuy, just one question - is that what you really look like? (I assume you have your reasons for choosing anonymity).
Jac xxx
Amity, wouldn't your first port of call be tackling the talk behind this friend's back, so that its dealt with in a grown up way, regardless of how betrayed you feel, because the photo MIGHT not be genuine.
Jac xxx
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I honestly think ( if you are sure she has used an incorrect picture ) the rest of you should give her the cold shoulder if i'm honest. Just my opinion.
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Amity: I help run a forum with some friends i have known for over 3 years now, its just a social outlet and keeps us all in contact.
It has come to our attention that one of our friends is not who she appears to be.
In fact we have been given some information from another source that the pic she has is not her.
Other members and staff on the site are furious and are discussing behind her back on what action to take.
Bare in mind we have ALL known each other for 3 years.
Why am i writing this is because i do not know how to deal with it.
I can not involve myself in the slagging off of a close friend, just because her picture isnt her. Shes still the same person to me.
Or am i being made a fool of?
Any advice welcome.
A friend should be a friend unconditionally.It has come to our attention that one of our friends is not who she appears to be.
In fact we have been given some information from another source that the pic she has is not her.
Other members and staff on the site are furious and are discussing behind her back on what action to take.
Bare in mind we have ALL known each other for 3 years.
Why am i writing this is because i do not know how to deal with it.
I can not involve myself in the slagging off of a close friend, just because her picture isnt her. Shes still the same person to me.
Or am i being made a fool of?
Any advice welcome.
Has she done anything wrong to you personally. ------ This thread is Archived ------
jac379: ChiGuy, just one question - is that what you really look like? (I assume you have your reasons for choosing anonymity).
Jac xxx
Amity, wouldn't your first port of call be tackling the talk behind this friend's back, so that its dealt with in a grown up way, regardless of how betrayed you feel, because the photo MIGHT not be genuine.
Jac xxx
i accept that this is an old picture. i have a bit more grey now. Jac xxx
Amity, wouldn't your first port of call be tackling the talk behind this friend's back, so that its dealt with in a grown up way, regardless of how betrayed you feel, because the photo MIGHT not be genuine.
Jac xxx
as i am not here looking for a partner, wife or lover, i feel that there is no need to advertise myself in the same way that others do.
after our dance last night, i thought the sight of me would be locked forever in your heart, for good or for bad.
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I think we still need further details as a lot can happen in 3yrs and have any of those in your forum updated their own initial images in that time??
The person who has brought this to light, is there any reason why they could not contact the person directly and ask why their picture is not correct, thereby avoiding this situation?? As people have raised, there may be a valid reason..
As you point out yourself Amity, it is the person's character that really counts and to see the others take a hard line is unfortunate, unless they know of more deceit's because they know you are closer to her..
Either way, the person must be confronted by the forum group in a friendly and polite manner to be given the chance to explain their reason for doing so and judgement should not be made until then..
The person who has brought this to light, is there any reason why they could not contact the person directly and ask why their picture is not correct, thereby avoiding this situation?? As people have raised, there may be a valid reason..
As you point out yourself Amity, it is the person's character that really counts and to see the others take a hard line is unfortunate, unless they know of more deceit's because they know you are closer to her..
Either way, the person must be confronted by the forum group in a friendly and polite manner to be given the chance to explain their reason for doing so and judgement should not be made until then..
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Yash124g: I think we still need further details as a lot can happen in 3yrs and have any of those in your forum updated their own initial images in that time??
The person who has brought this to light, is there any reason why they could not contact the person directly and ask why their picture is not correct, thereby avoiding this situation?? As people have raised, there may be a valid reason..
As you point out yourself Amity, it is the person's character that really counts and to see the others take a hard line is unfortunate, unless they know of more deceit's because they know you are closer to her..
Either way, the person must be confronted by the forum group in a friendly and polite manner to be given the chance to explain their reason for doing so and judgement should not be made until then..
The person who has brought this to light, is there any reason why they could not contact the person directly and ask why their picture is not correct, thereby avoiding this situation?? As people have raised, there may be a valid reason..
As you point out yourself Amity, it is the person's character that really counts and to see the others take a hard line is unfortunate, unless they know of more deceit's because they know you are closer to her..
Either way, the person must be confronted by the forum group in a friendly and polite manner to be given the chance to explain their reason for doing so and judgement should not be made until then..
Yeah, I agree.
There is something about this whole issue that doesnt add up to me, to be honest..
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Created: Jun 2010
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It has come to our attention that one of our friends is not who she appears to be.
In fact we have been given some information from another source that the pic she has is not her.
Other members and staff on the site are furious and are discussing behind her back on what action to take.
Bare in mind we have ALL known each other for 3 years.
Why am i writing this is because i do not know how to deal with it.
I can not involve myself in the slagging off of a close friend, just because her picture isnt her. Shes still the same person to me.
Or am i being made a fool of?
Any advice welcome.