IS IT MORE PAINFUL.... (11)
i think it's more painful to have to deal with the "what might have been"..because the relationship that has run it's course has already given memories... the one that might have been hasn't
I was in a 13 year relationship and the end was very painful. The sad thing was that I continued to think of what "might have been". This was someone who I planned to spend my entire life with and that changed in a blink of an eye. No, he didn't die...but his actions caused the relationship to come to an abrupt halt. I suppose the relationship to some extent ran it's course. What I am trying to say is that I think that if a relationship lasts or not, and there has been some sort of an emotional investment, there is always the possiblity of "what might have been." I hope this makes sense.
Relationships never actually end, although they do certainly change form. I've learned to accept what IS. Much different, often, than what I was wishing for or wanted to "see". I want to be accepting of how the other person actually IS. I hope for the same in return. If we are honest with each other and ourselves AND we enjoy being together...we have a RELTIONSHIP. If we're not being honest we have a situation, and an aggravating one. I much prefer alone to aggravated.
For me anticipation may be synonomous with premeditated resentment. I want to be aware, let energy move and experience the reality of our interaction...not scripted floss.
No wonder I'm alone......
For me anticipation may be synonomous with premeditated resentment. I want to be aware, let energy move and experience the reality of our interaction...not scripted floss.
No wonder I'm alone......
It would all depend on the situation. But for me it would be more hurtful if I would have lost the "What could of been"
Hmmm...that is a really good question. I think that the pain of what might have been is actually more severe than pain from a relationship that has run its course. I think when a relationship has its run, there are many reasons for why you are not together. Thinking of those helps to ease the pain and motivates us to move on (i.e, know what to look for and what not to look for). I think the unknown would be much more painful because there is always that thought that it might have been "the one" and you will never know. At least with a relationship that has occurred, you can think of many reasons why it was not. Those are my two cents.
Isn´t it really a brain thing
How can you miss what you never had???? Answer is simple to me.
Vulcan logic would dictate that to grieve something that never was is to grieve a fantasy of possiblilities counjoured up in your own mind. It's not real therefor the grief not based in reality, merely created yourself. Beam me up scottie!
Vulcan logic would dictate that to grieve something that never was is to grieve a fantasy of possiblilities counjoured up in your own mind. It's not real therefor the grief not based in reality, merely created yourself. Beam me up scottie!
If he was wonderful, then I would be able to maintain a friendship with him, missing out on nothing. If he wasn't so wonderful, then what is there to miss. Pretty simple to me.
That now is a very tricky 2 way question. Because you always hold out hope that the person talking to you would continue to do so , down the road, and if they are gone, it may bother you for a bit, perhaps a short while. On the other hand, I don't know about a relationship that has runs it's course, because it couldn't be if it was never on track.
That now is a very tricky 2 way question. Because you always hold out hope that the person talking to you would continue to do so, down the road, and if they are gone, it may bother you for a bit, perhaps a short while. On the other hand, I don't know about a relationship that has runs it's course, because it couldn't be if it was never on track.
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Created: Sep 2006
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Is the pain of a breakup more severe when you lose someone wonderful...for whatever reason...because it could have been such a good thing...
Or is the pain of a breakup in a relationship that has run its course and is not going anywhere more severe...