Damaged Men (163)

Shell225: For me .. this a MAJOR RED FLAG .. this is where I run away, and incredibly fast. I've been there, and I've done that, and I'll be open and honest and say that there are many days even now that Im still licking the wounds from that experience.

I had a man, and we were together for over a year, 'two peas in a pod', absolutely and totally in love, never a harsh word between us. He was separated (had been for a year before I met him) .. and the 'ex' didnt know that he was moving on. Trust me when I say, that when she found out, she was one of those women who doesnt actually want him, but NO ONE else will ever get their hands on him either.

She gave him an ultimatum, come back or loose it ALL - the kids. He went back .. I stepped back and walked away (the good church girl). I never contacted him again.

He rang the other day ... We'd not spoken for a year, not one word, text, email. He rang to hear my voice. I hope she is happy, its clear that he isnt. I respect that he (as a man) has to finish what he started, has to stay and make whatever their marriage is work.

But I will never get involved with a separated man again.

Shell225: For me .. this a MAJOR RED FLAG .. this is where I run away, and incredibly fast. I've been there, and I've done that, and I'll be open and honest and say that there are many days even now that Im still licking the wounds from that experience.

I had a man, and we were together for over a year, 'two peas in a pod', absolutely and totally in love, never a harsh word between us. He was separated (had been for a year before I met him) .. and the 'ex' didnt know that he was moving on. Trust me when I say, that when she found out, she was one of those women who doesnt actually want him, but NO ONE else will ever get their hands on him either.

She gave him an ultimatum, come back or loose it ALL - the kids. He went back .. I stepped back and walked away (the good church girl). I never contacted him again.

He rang the other day ... We'd not spoken for a year, not one word, text, email. He rang to hear my voice. I hope she is happy, its clear that he isnt. I respect that he (as a man) has to finish what he started, has to stay and make whatever their marriage is work.

But I will never get involved with a separated man again.

Misty1773: its pretty hard to find a man who doesnt have an ex somewhere. As i stated, the guy in question is a very good friend. And until everything in his life is sorted and finalised then that is how we will remain. Just good friends, and then if i havent been snapped up by someone else, then who knows what may happen.

I started the thread because I just didnt get why when there is a break up, some women do their absolute best to make life hell for their ex and have to hurt them so badly they just find it hard to trust & love again. Especially when the woman is the one who walked away & ended the relationship.

Thank you all for your advice & help which I have taken on board. If nothing else I do know I have a terrific friend here who I will support in all ways possible.

DJMcC: I think your statement is a bit of a 2 way street, women do it to men, men do it to women..................that didnt sound quite right but you know what I mean,

Larf75: I also believe that there are people out there that are scared of being single for to long because they feel they will get past being able to settle down with someone or won't be able to compromise with a partner due to not having to do it for so long or even being able to share their time or more with someone.

Shell225: Peace and love to you
can we have ducks and goats too???

Shell225: For me .. this a MAJOR RED FLAG .. this is where I run away, and incredibly fast. I've been there, and I've done that, and I'll be open and honest and say that there are many days even now that Im still licking the wounds from that experience.

I had a man, and we were together for over a year, 'two peas in a pod', absolutely and totally in love, never a harsh word between us. He was separated (had been for a year before I met him) .. and the 'ex' didnt know that he was moving on. Trust me when I say, that when she found out, she was one of those women who doesnt actually want him, but NO ONE else will ever get their hands on him either.

She gave him an ultimatum, come back or loose it ALL - the kids. He went back .. I stepped back and walked away (the good church girl). I never contacted him again.

He rang the other day ... We'd not spoken for a year, not one word, text, email. He rang to hear my voice. I hope she is happy, its clear that he isnt. I respect that he (as a man) has to finish what he started, has to stay and make whatever their marriage is work.

But I will never get involved with a separated man again.

Misty1773: What I want to know is, why do someone women go out of their way to completely screw over a mans heart, that he finds it so hard to trust and love again???

jimbob47: Misty1773 I have no idea why anyone male or female does this .In my own case I didn't really know what was going on .
But looking back there were signs that I didn't see or want to see.
Its harder the longer you have been together .
Its even harder(take note people)when they say its not your fault its theirs.
Actually I'm turned off marriage never ever again !!!