Damaged Men (163)
Shell225: because people change, because people WANT to change, because people want to be better. For some people that involves exploring their spiritual side. For some people exploring their spiritual side means that they are learning to hold themselves personally accountable for their role in their relationship breakdown. That is not hypocritical, that is evolving as a human being.
Its rotten when a marriage breaks down, its rotten when any relationship breaks down. But being married doesnt make you more accountable for that breakdown. Its just as sad when people have been together for 20 years, have children and their defacto relationships falls apart.
Its rotten when a marriage breaks down, its rotten when any relationship breaks down. But being married doesnt make you more accountable for that breakdown. Its just as sad when people have been together for 20 years, have children and their defacto relationships falls apart.
yep!!!
dragondog4: So IF marriage is such a gimmick. What are we telling our kids and grand kids.
Do we change the words in all the fairy tales we read them.
Do we try to talk them out of getting married.
Do we ask them why they wish to get married.
Do we explain to them the true meaning of marriage.
Or do we continue to resurrect the fantasy of happily ever after for the sake of form, and to avoid the arguement with fellow adults.
Do we change the words in all the fairy tales we read them.
Do we try to talk them out of getting married.
Do we ask them why they wish to get married.
Do we explain to them the true meaning of marriage.
Or do we continue to resurrect the fantasy of happily ever after for the sake of form, and to avoid the arguement with fellow adults.
I tell short that you dont have to be married to love someone, or be committed to someone.
Fairy Tales are just that fairy tales, they are impossible fantasies and have no place in real life. Perhaps because too many people wanted the fairy tale marriage and the fairy tale life is one of the reasons there are failed marriages.
No we dont try to talk them out of marriage, but we certainly make sure that they know what it means, the committment, the need to work through the hard times, the need to be a team and stand firm, the need to forgive with love.
Shell225: because people change, because people WANT to change, because people want to be better. For some people that involves exploring their spiritual side. For some people exploring their spiritual side means that they are learning to hold themselves personally accountable for their role in their relationship breakdown. That is not hypocritical, that is evolving as a human being.
Its rotten when a marriage breaks down, its rotten when any relationship breaks down. But being married doesnt make you more accountable for that breakdown. Its just as sad when people have been together for 20 years, have children and their defacto relationships falls apart.
Its rotten when a marriage breaks down, its rotten when any relationship breaks down. But being married doesnt make you more accountable for that breakdown. Its just as sad when people have been together for 20 years, have children and their defacto relationships falls apart.
Yep, but I tell ya what, not having that bit of paper makes things alot easier and no time frame involved. Problem solved
tarnsnz: Yep, but I tell ya what, not having that bit of paper makes things alot easier and no time frame involved. Problem solved
dragondog4: Well thats a great attitude.
everyone has their own opinion and that is Blondes...I have that same attitude about marriage
who wants to be married anyway after all the married men I've been hit on by
blondeozichick: is that sarcasm I can hear in your voice jimbob?
Actually it wasn't I like the thinking of you girls .
When I'm sarcastic you'll know it
dragondog4: And that just shows how badly society has degenerated.
I agree with No amount of vows or promises is going to change a 'non' committed person But if that is the situation, that individual should never enter the church for a formal ceremony.
Marriage is just like taking on a pet or having a baby. It is a life long commitment. If your not prepared to commit your life to it. DON'T DO IT.
No lets really blow this out of the water.
Marriage is a ceremony a couple undertakes to pledge their lifelong commitment to each other; in the house of the lord and the presence of their family and friends.
So why do so many who break this commitment, turn to the lord for help and guidance afterwards.
Why would the lord even deem to listen to them when they have already broken their word/vow to the lord in terms of their marriage.
Its just hypocrasy of the highest degree. Which is Humans the world over in today's cesspit, which we politely call society.
because the lord loves and forgives everyoneI agree with No amount of vows or promises is going to change a 'non' committed person But if that is the situation, that individual should never enter the church for a formal ceremony.
Marriage is just like taking on a pet or having a baby. It is a life long commitment. If your not prepared to commit your life to it. DON'T DO IT.
No lets really blow this out of the water.
Marriage is a ceremony a couple undertakes to pledge their lifelong commitment to each other; in the house of the lord and the presence of their family and friends.
So why do so many who break this commitment, turn to the lord for help and guidance afterwards.
Why would the lord even deem to listen to them when they have already broken their word/vow to the lord in terms of their marriage.
Its just hypocrasy of the highest degree. Which is Humans the world over in today's cesspit, which we politely call society.
blondeozichick: oh well... its my opinion I dont agree with your slant on things either dragondog...the lord this and lord that .. give me a break
marriage is not about religion.. so there is no point spouting on about god and stuff that not everyone believes in btw
people get married who don't have or follow a particular religion.. hence why we have marriage celebrants yeah?
and of course most people get married thinking it will last forever.. who doesn't??? but people change.. what they want in life changes as the years go by and it may not be in accordance with what their marrital partner wants...so then its time to either come to a compromise or follow your bliss and do what makes you happy... oh wait... or should we stay married cos we made vows no matter how miserable we are in that relationship??
this is real life .. not a fairy tale
marriage is not about religion.. so there is no point spouting on about god and stuff that not everyone believes in btw
people get married who don't have or follow a particular religion.. hence why we have marriage celebrants yeah?
and of course most people get married thinking it will last forever.. who doesn't??? but people change.. what they want in life changes as the years go by and it may not be in accordance with what their marrital partner wants...so then its time to either come to a compromise or follow your bliss and do what makes you happy... oh wait... or should we stay married cos we made vows no matter how miserable we are in that relationship??
this is real life .. not a fairy tale
for sure people change...you fall out of love and all that...one can't help how the heart feels
blondeozichick: I know what to tell them.. tell them to save their money and not waste it on a wedding and just go on a fantastic holiday together and have some great memories and lots of laughs or tell them to put the money they would spend on a wedding on a house deposit so they have some security later in life and to just love and learn from each other and be happy .. that can be done without being married
oh and tell them they dont have to get married to be committed to someone ... having a piece of paper doesnt mean its going to be a better relationship.. I know lots of people who never got married and are still together 20+ yrs later.. I also know lots of people who got married and they are now divorced
oh and maybe you can tell them that 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce so if they do get married and it lasts then good for them... if it ends 10 yrs later then tell them thats ok to.. cos life is too short to be miserable for half of it
hence my statement that marriage is just a piece of paper
very well saidoh and tell them they dont have to get married to be committed to someone ... having a piece of paper doesnt mean its going to be a better relationship.. I know lots of people who never got married and are still together 20+ yrs later.. I also know lots of people who got married and they are now divorced
oh and maybe you can tell them that 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce so if they do get married and it lasts then good for them... if it ends 10 yrs later then tell them thats ok to.. cos life is too short to be miserable for half of it
hence my statement that marriage is just a piece of paper
Shell225: because people change, because people WANT to change, because people want to be better. For some people that involves exploring their spiritual side. For some people exploring their spiritual side means that they are learning to hold themselves personally accountable for their role in their relationship breakdown. That is not hypocritical, that is evolving as a human being.
Its rotten when a marriage breaks down, its rotten when any relationship breaks down. But being married doesnt make you more accountable for that breakdown. Its just as sad when people have been together for 20 years, have children and their defacto relationships falls apart.
Its rotten when a marriage breaks down, its rotten when any relationship breaks down. But being married doesnt make you more accountable for that breakdown. Its just as sad when people have been together for 20 years, have children and their defacto relationships falls apart.
Well said Shell225
From my point of view (or what happened to me ) would have been nice if my wife told me she was changing(or I could have seen it) .We could have sat down and talked about it .and then gone our different paths.
Instead of one of us growing and moving on (not me of course).And the other person (me) just continuing on with the lifestyle u know get up go to work come home get up go to work etc etc .Boring Mr Reliable you can set your watch by me !!!
And talking of Defacto's I knew of 1 couple been living together for 40 or more years got married and that ended the relationship !! Go figure .
jimbob47: Well said Shell225
From my point of view (or what happened to me ) would have been nice if my wife told me she was changing(or I could have seen it) .We could have sat down and talked about it .and then gone our different paths.
Instead of one of us growing and moving on (not me of course).And the other person (me) just continuing on with the lifestyle u know get up go to work come home get up go to work etc etc .Boring Mr Reliable you can set your watch by me !!!
And talking of Defacto's I knew of 1 couple been living together for 40 or more years got married and that ended the relationship !! Go figure .
From my point of view (or what happened to me ) would have been nice if my wife told me she was changing(or I could have seen it) .We could have sat down and talked about it .and then gone our different paths.
Instead of one of us growing and moving on (not me of course).And the other person (me) just continuing on with the lifestyle u know get up go to work come home get up go to work etc etc .Boring Mr Reliable you can set your watch by me !!!
And talking of Defacto's I knew of 1 couple been living together for 40 or more years got married and that ended the relationship !! Go figure .
jimbob47: Well said Shell225
From my point of view (or what happened to me ) would have been nice if my wife told me she was changing(or I could have seen it) .We could have sat down and talked about it .and then gone our different paths.
Instead of one of us growing and moving on (not me of course).And the other person (me) just continuing on with the lifestyle u know get up go to work come home get up go to work etc etc .Boring Mr Reliable you can set your watch by me !!!
And talking of Defacto's I knew of 1 couple been living together for 40 or more years got married and that ended the relationship !! Go figure .
From my point of view (or what happened to me ) would have been nice if my wife told me she was changing(or I could have seen it) .We could have sat down and talked about it .and then gone our different paths.
Instead of one of us growing and moving on (not me of course).And the other person (me) just continuing on with the lifestyle u know get up go to work come home get up go to work etc etc .Boring Mr Reliable you can set your watch by me !!!
And talking of Defacto's I knew of 1 couple been living together for 40 or more years got married and that ended the relationship !! Go figure .
thanks Jimbob,
no one is static ... we all are works in progress
sometimes I dont even think that people realise they've changed until its too late.
ohnuts1: well ive done both, was married for 9 yrs and lived with someone for 15yrs..got screwed over both times but it wouldnt stop me doing it again... im with blondes on this if u got the same level of love and commitment from both parties it doesnt matter wether u got the paper to prove it .. and as for the commitment in front of the lord he wasnt in either of the relationships with me
he was on her sideohnuts1: well ive done both, was married for 9 yrs and lived with someone for 15yrs..got screwed over both times but it wouldnt stop me doing it again... im with blondes on this if u got the same level of love and commitment from both parties it doesnt matter wether u got the paper to prove it .. and as for the commitment in front of the lord he wasnt in either of the relationships with me
gawd, are you saying that I've been doing it wrong.. I thought I only got involved in relationships so I could get screwed... 
darn it.... I can never get this dating thing rightShell225: gawd, are you saying that I've been doing it wrong.. I thought I only got involved in relationships so I could get screwed...
darn it.... I can never get this dating thing right
darn it.... I can never get this dating thing right
Shell225: gawd, are you saying that I've been doing it wrong.. I thought I only got involved in relationships so I could get screwed...
darn it.... I can never get this dating thing right
darn it.... I can never get this dating thing right
Ohnuts, maybe 3rd time lucky, ya might nail it
Shell225: gawd, are you saying that I've been doing it wrong.. I thought I only got involved in relationships so I could get screwed...
darn it.... I can never get this dating thing right
yeh but not in the wrong hole darn it.... I can never get this dating thing right
ohnuts1: yeh but not in the wrong hole
I wonder I wonder I wonder 
who tells the biggest tale- male or female when their marriage ends?
who tells the biggest tale- male or female when their marriage ends?
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And personally your both correct .