seperated = SINGLE.. period (74)
reg1957Belleville, Ontario Canada8 Threads 141 PostsYes....I am still married in the eyes of the law, do I still feel married....HELL NO!, would I get a divorce if I found some one to whom I wanted to marry......HELL YA. So do I need someone to be judging me because I have dated even though I am not "single"...once again.....HELL NO! opions are like a**hole...everyone has one, we just may not want to hear from yours....thanks for coming out!!
Still married according to who??? The Law?..A piece of paper?..Society?..who??
Does staying within a marriage stop people from having "affairs"...??
At least separated people had it in them to at least acknowledge to their partner that the marriage was "over"...
There are lots of reasons "separated" people do not rush the "divorce" proceeding...and though YOU may think its about money, it is not always the case...
NOTE**What's the matter optimystic...miss having me on the int'l forum to chase about and harrass???
Does staying within a marriage stop people from having "affairs"...??
At least separated people had it in them to at least acknowledge to their partner that the marriage was "over"...
There are lots of reasons "separated" people do not rush the "divorce" proceeding...and though YOU may think its about money, it is not always the case...
NOTE**What's the matter optimystic...miss having me on the int'l forum to chase about and harrass???
Wikkid.......you ROCK, would love to give you a big 
“Still married according to who??? The Law?..A piece of paper?..Society?..who??”
Actually, all of the above. When I left my husband, it took a while to even bother with the paperwork. Didn’t see the marriage license as a “deed” on my feelings, so I didn’t really care. BUT when someone expressed interest, and I had feelings for the person, I did get the paperwork through before I pursued ANYTHING. I was honest about the fact that I was still legally married, and therefore unavailable to date until that situation had been rectified.
“NOTE**What's the matter optimystic...miss having me on the int'l forum to chase about and harrass??? ”
Don’t flatter yourself. And I don't even know what you mean by harrass. Didn’t even really notice you were in here now that you changed to the pic with the fat dress.
“omg, how did this old thread of mine come back??? LOL”
People still in denial about their status. LOL
Actually, all of the above. When I left my husband, it took a while to even bother with the paperwork. Didn’t see the marriage license as a “deed” on my feelings, so I didn’t really care. BUT when someone expressed interest, and I had feelings for the person, I did get the paperwork through before I pursued ANYTHING. I was honest about the fact that I was still legally married, and therefore unavailable to date until that situation had been rectified.
“NOTE**What's the matter optimystic...miss having me on the int'l forum to chase about and harrass??? ”
Don’t flatter yourself. And I don't even know what you mean by harrass. Didn’t even really notice you were in here now that you changed to the pic with the fat dress.
“omg, how did this old thread of mine come back??? LOL”
People still in denial about their status. LOL
That's right sugar...show 'em what you're made of...
On a more serious note though...
You say when you left your marriage you did not proceed right away with the "paperwork" until you had met and become interested enough in them to want a divorce so that you might pursue a relationship there...
Excuse me...isn't that what i said??...That there are lots of reasons people don't push for the divorce right away?...I don't believe anyone on here intimated that they would never get the divorce...perhaps..like you...they have not felt the need to go that route as yet...and it had nothing to do with "laziness, cheapness" or any other derogatory remark that people such as yourself make...
As i've said before...neither myself or my "ex" have had a reason to go that route, but are willing and ready if either one of us should say the word...
Yes i am separated for six years...but i'm not on a dating site to get "lucky" i'm out here trying to find someone to share a "real" life with...so yeah maybe its taking a little longer, but that's just me...
You say when you left your marriage you did not proceed right away with the "paperwork" until you had met and become interested enough in them to want a divorce so that you might pursue a relationship there...
Excuse me...isn't that what i said??...That there are lots of reasons people don't push for the divorce right away?...I don't believe anyone on here intimated that they would never get the divorce...perhaps..like you...they have not felt the need to go that route as yet...and it had nothing to do with "laziness, cheapness" or any other derogatory remark that people such as yourself make...
As i've said before...neither myself or my "ex" have had a reason to go that route, but are willing and ready if either one of us should say the word...
Yes i am separated for six years...but i'm not on a dating site to get "lucky" i'm out here trying to find someone to share a "real" life with...so yeah maybe its taking a little longer, but that's just me...
Soooooo......Optimystic......if a couple who have never married but have lived common law for a considerable number of years and decide to separate.....where's your argument?
I'm still legally separated for about 8 years now and never felt the need to proceed with the divorce papers. Neither did my ex and he has been in a serious relationship now for almost 5 years.
What I noticed is (sofar) that only the women seem to have a problem with it.... Is it an insecurity issue?
And like Wikked said, I'm not here to get lucky.
What I noticed is (sofar) that only the women seem to have a problem with it.... Is it an insecurity issue?
And like Wikked said, I'm not here to get lucky.
I do believe that there is some "insecurity" issue attached to this for the part of the women...I can't say for sure because i've not yet been in that position...
The last woman my "ex" was seeing knew full well about our marital status...which did not seem to pose a problem at the start (is ANYthing a problem at the start.. ) but once they were an "item" all of a sudden all kinds of things became a problem...and though i was prepared to give him a divorce if he wanted to proceed..he very quickly saw the "change" in her...and decided the "divorce" was not as important as having her "move on"...
The last woman my "ex" was seeing knew full well about our marital status...which did not seem to pose a problem at the start (is ANYthing a problem at the start..
) but once they were an "item" all of a sudden all kinds of things became a problem...and though i was prepared to give him a divorce if he wanted to proceed..he very quickly saw the "change" in her...and decided the "divorce" was not as important as having her "move on"...Argument? Considering that lots of people live together, and do not become legally attached, then that would be the defining factor. In some jurisdictions, if you live together for a certain amount of time, BAM you are legally married under common law statutes. (Me, I think that is stupid. If the couple wanted to be "married" they just would have done it. No need for a piece of paper for a relationship. Would even separate from my partner for a month or so just to avoid that.) So, if this couple were determined to be legally married, then the same would apply just like in any other case. If they were not legally married, then they are single when they separate. I think this topic is getting confused in regard to feelings vs legalities. Sure you can feel single, even if you aren't legally single, but if you are legally bound to another, you aren't single. Solo maybe, single no.
As far as all of those who have other relationships while still married, that has been going on forever. Already a term, or two, for that.
As far as all of those who have other relationships while still married, that has been going on forever. Already a term, or two, for that.
Hey
I have been separated for 15 years... and not divorced. I have been separated now longer than I was ever married. My "ex" lives with his partner and she know that we are not divorced, doesn't seem to bother her. Actually have had boyfriends chuckle that the didn't have to marry me as I was already married! Any time I tell a potential boyfriend that I hve been separated for so long they don't seem bothered by it. I don't think it is anyone else's business why we are not divorced... unless I make it your business!!
Have a good day!!
Christine
I have been separated for 15 years... and not divorced. I have been separated now longer than I was ever married. My "ex" lives with his partner and she know that we are not divorced, doesn't seem to bother her. Actually have had boyfriends chuckle that the didn't have to marry me as I was already married! Any time I tell a potential boyfriend that I hve been separated for so long they don't seem bothered by it. I don't think it is anyone else's business why we are not divorced... unless I make it your business!!
Have a good day!!
Christine
"unless I make it your business!!"
You mean like on a website forum where people are asked their opinions? LOL (Funny how the married people are lashing out so much over a simple statement of fact.
Sounds very defensive.) And whether you are married or not isn't my issue, as I wouldn't get involved in the situation. Sure, other people wouldn't care either. Besides the denial that I just don't understand, the only time I would have a problem with it is when a married guy pretends to be single when he asks me out. No, the second date is not the time to finally tell the truth, the first contact is. Then I would know not to interact with the person (romatically) from the get go.
You mean like on a website forum where people are asked their opinions? LOL (Funny how the married people are lashing out so much over a simple statement of fact.
Sounds very defensive.) And whether you are married or not isn't my issue, as I wouldn't get involved in the situation. Sure, other people wouldn't care either. Besides the denial that I just don't understand, the only time I would have a problem with it is when a married guy pretends to be single when he asks me out. No, the second date is not the time to finally tell the truth, the first contact is. Then I would know not to interact with the person (romatically) from the get go.Defending one's point of view is not "lashing" out Optimystic...
The same way you are validating your view...the rest of us are too...
The same way you are validating your view...the rest of us are too...
Sounds like your not defending your views. but angry about something Wikked. Doesn't matter seperated or not. But you have to respect other peoples choices to avoid seperated people. Enough single guys out there. Simple. Okay so lets all stop this silliness.
No Bess..I'm not angry...see part of being my age is that i don't feel the necessity to justify or validate what I do...I do what I want to...and offer no explanations!
However, if its because you think i have a "tone" with Optimystic...she and I have a bit of "history" from the international thread...
However, if its because you think i have a "tone" with Optimystic...she and I have a bit of "history" from the international thread...
I never disputed anyone's decision to "date" or "not date" separated men/women by the way...
All i was trying to point out in that respect is that being "legally divorced" or "single/never married"...does not exempt that person from hurting another in a relationship...it just seemed that the word "separated" meant automatically that there would be unresolvable "issues" to deal with...issues to deal with happen regardless of what your status is...
All i was trying to point out in that respect is that being "legally divorced" or "single/never married"...does not exempt that person from hurting another in a relationship...it just seemed that the word "separated" meant automatically that there would be unresolvable "issues" to deal with...issues to deal with happen regardless of what your status is...
Everybody has "bagage" TT when you are in your 40's TT. Kinda hard to find somebody who hasn't bagage at that age.....
And you make it sound like the people here who are separated for years are commiting some kind of adultry....
And you make it sound like the people here who are separated for years are commiting some kind of adultry....
It is no more nor no less than "married" couples who stay together as a facade...and have affairs...
More Threads
A question
Heavy Bass In The PM
Too many fake profiles here ...
What Clothes Do You Feel Comfortable Wearing?
Blast From The Past
the death nail for dating websites
Wondering
Thinking out loud #3
It's been a long time....
What I Lack In Vocabulary
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).