Would you........... (29)
josingleinspainLa Cala, Andalusia Spain86 Threads 1 Polls 430 PostsTrust a woman that you met in a dating site: This is the story a friend of mine met this woman on a dating site......She is still living with her b/f but says they have been over for a while. She has a job looking after a property for a couple so the day to day things like cleaning, buing supplies, ect for this villa. This is with he said to be ex b/f. Now she says she wants to move on with her life and that would mean leaving her job with he ex. So she started talking to this friend of mine and she lives 9 hours from him but has been trying to see him and wants to come to the coast to stay with him for a week then she will move over to the coast to be with him.................. My question is is she trying to find somebody new or is it a case of finding somebody to look after her??????????
josingleinspain: Trust a woman that you met in a dating site:
Short answer is yes....
josingleinspain: My question is is she trying to find somebody new or is it a case of finding somebody to look after her??????????
Why don't you believe you friend...Maybe she's being honest.
Phoenix: Short answer is yes....
Why don't you believe you friend...Maybe she's being honest.
o right so u r not sure????Why don't you believe you friend...Maybe she's being honest.
josingleinspain: o right so u r not sure????
When my Muckers tell me something..I tend to believe them...
Phoenix: When my Muckers tell me something..I tend to believe them...
well mayb you did not understand if a woman would come to you and she has nowhere else to live and no job, would you really believe she wants you for you or because she is desprate to find a new man to look after her???????????josingleinspain: well mayb you did not understand if a woman would come to you and she has nowhere else to live and no job, would you really believe she wants you for you or because she is desprate to find a new man to look after her???????????
when she is still living with her so called ex b/f. Would you not wonder if she needs a bit more then a new b/f?????josingleinspain: well mayb you did not understand if a woman would come to you and she has nowhere else to live and no job, would you really believe she wants you for you or because she is desprate to find a new man to look after her???????????
Maybe, maybe not...Why don't you take your friends word at face value...?
Am not sure as more details are needed in terms of how long your friend has been in touch with her, though from what you have said, it seems as though, imo, that she is looking for a new experience and has tired of the old one and your friend may be in the same position further down the line...
I suppose the main concern is that she is still living with her b/f, but the way you put it makes me wonder if he even knows of her intentions?? Obviously these days, when couples do split, moving out may be a lot harder, but again the fact she helps out in villas would make one think she would have other places to go
As Phoenix says, she may be telling the truth, but to be willing to commit to moving in with your friend when it seems they have yet to really meet does ring alarm bells. Though it could be things have been misinterpreted and she has only said that she wants to see how things would go with your friend for a short while, and if looks promising, she would be happy to move, which would be sensible..
Whatever happens, hope it works out well for your friend..
I suppose the main concern is that she is still living with her b/f, but the way you put it makes me wonder if he even knows of her intentions?? Obviously these days, when couples do split, moving out may be a lot harder, but again the fact she helps out in villas would make one think she would have other places to go
As Phoenix says, she may be telling the truth, but to be willing to commit to moving in with your friend when it seems they have yet to really meet does ring alarm bells. Though it could be things have been misinterpreted and she has only said that she wants to see how things would go with your friend for a short while, and if looks promising, she would be happy to move, which would be sensible..
Whatever happens, hope it works out well for your friend..
Phoenix: Maybe, maybe not...Why don't you take your friends word at face value...?
I just find it really weird that a woman would talk to a man on a dating site claim she is not with her b/f but still lives with him. Then she will leave everything to go and be with a man she has never even met face to face. I think she needs to find a new man to take care of her as she is done with her last b/f.....She is not my friend the man she has been talking to is my friend and i just feel she is not being honest if she can swap one man for another. It is just i am worried about my friend that she is gonna use him and maybe even hurt him................I am looking out for my friend that is why i wanted to know what others think of the situation............Yash124g: Am not sure as more details are needed in terms of how long your friend has been in touch with her, though from what you have said, it seems as though, imo, that she is looking for a new experience and has tired of the old one and your friend may be in the same position further down the line...
I suppose the main concern is that she is still living with her b/f, but the way you put it makes me wonder if he even knows of her intentions?? Obviously these days, when couples do split, moving out may be a lot harder, but again the fact she helps out in villas would make one think she would have other places to go
As Phoenix says, she may be telling the truth, but to be willing to commit to moving in with your friend when it seems they have yet to really meet does ring alarm bells. Though it could be things have been misinterpreted and she has only said that she wants to see how things would go with your friend for a short while, and if looks promising, she would be happy to move, which would be sensible..
Whatever happens, hope it works out well for your friend..
The thing is she works with her so called ex b/f they do the work at the villa together. That is the whole point she is working inside the villa and he does the gardens, so that is the thing they are living and working together. She has been talking to my friend for about 2 months and now she is telling my friend she wants to move to where he lives...............I am a woman too but if i did not have a hidden agenda i will not be moving to somebody i have never even met..................I suppose the main concern is that she is still living with her b/f, but the way you put it makes me wonder if he even knows of her intentions?? Obviously these days, when couples do split, moving out may be a lot harder, but again the fact she helps out in villas would make one think she would have other places to go
As Phoenix says, she may be telling the truth, but to be willing to commit to moving in with your friend when it seems they have yet to really meet does ring alarm bells. Though it could be things have been misinterpreted and she has only said that she wants to see how things would go with your friend for a short while, and if looks promising, she would be happy to move, which would be sensible..
Whatever happens, hope it works out well for your friend..
Your friend is his own man and at the end of the day the buck stops with him....It's possible he hasn't told you lock, stock and two smokin'...
All you can do is hope it works out for him and they live the fairy tale..If it goes pear shaped, help him pick up the piece's...
All you can do is hope it works out for him and they live the fairy tale..If it goes pear shaped, help him pick up the piece's...
josingleinspain: well mayb you did not understand if a woman would come to you and she has nowhere else to live and no job, would you really believe she wants you for you or because she is desprate to find a new man to look after her???????????
I think, it’s better to ask that woman what exactly she has in her mind. No one else can answer questions about her plans and intentions.
Taking the subject from slightly different angle, I’d say that for these gentlemen who do want to find a partner, on the internet or by some other method, it’s more practical to look closer at women who are about to move – she’s between two houses or jobs or husbands or whatever. You’ve got better chance there than when a woman is settled and rooted and nestled. Can take hell of time and money and other efforts to smoke her out and get her into your charms then.
josingleinspain: The thing is she works with her so called ex b/f they do the work at the villa together. That is the whole point she is working inside the villa and he does the gardens, so that is the thing they are living and working together. She has been talking to my friend for about 2 months and now she is telling my friend she wants to move to where he lives...............I am a woman too but if i did not have a hidden agenda i will not be moving to somebody i have never even met..................
I agree with Phoenix, its your friends choice, and with Tulefel that he maybe needs to ask direct questions of her. Though with her being in a working relationship it makes things more complicated and this might be the impetus she needs to leave him.. We also do not know what her current b/f is like or how he treats her..
We are all different and sometimes taking that chance can be the best thing, but if I were in his shoes, I'd see about helping her to move near him in her own place and see how things develop between them..
josingleinspain: I just find it really weird that a woman would talk to a man on a dating site claim she is not with her b/f but still lives with him. Then she will leave everything to go and be with a man she has never even met face to face. I think she needs to find a new man to take care of her as she is done with her last b/f.....She is not my friend the man she has been talking to is my friend and i just feel she is not being honest if she can swap one man for another. It is just i am worried about my friend that she is gonna use him and maybe even hurt him................I am looking out for my friend that is why i wanted to know what others think of the situation............
I say "Live and let live, and let your friend decide his own destiny".
I presume that your friend is old enough to make his own decisions...and mistakes if any.
For all you know you may be wrong and might be interfering with something good. Besides you are not able to protect your friend from all the people that he might meet. So, it is his life, let him get on with it.
Bental: I say "Live and let live, and let your friend decide his own destiny".
I presume that your friend is old enough to make his own decisions...and mistakes if any.
For all you know you may be wrong and might be interfering with something good. Besides you are not able to protect your friend from all the people that he might meet. So, it is his life, let him get on with it.
Fine you are all right i was just looking out for a friend i guess i was wrong so i will stand by and see him get hurt and used as i do know enough about it to know that will be the end result. I think i should really stop trying to give people advice and just let them get on with their lives.............Thanx for the repliesI presume that your friend is old enough to make his own decisions...and mistakes if any.
For all you know you may be wrong and might be interfering with something good. Besides you are not able to protect your friend from all the people that he might meet. So, it is his life, let him get on with it.
josingleinspain: Fine you are all right i was just looking out for a friend i guess i was wrong so i will stand by and see him get hurt and used as i do know enough about it to know that will be the end result. I think i should really stop trying to give people advice and just let them get on with their lives.............Thanx for the replies
Hi josingleinspain,
It reads as if you're disappointed at the responses you've received. It's clear from your last post that you've decided it will go all pear shaped for your friend. Presumably, though, your friend is no fool and has weighed up the situation, and is willing to take the risks involved.
Be careful about making assumptions about the lady involved. Some people can and do remain good friends with their ex's, uncommon, but it does happen. I know of a few. The fact that they are living in the same home means just that, unless proven otherwise. It might be only a matter of pragmatism on both their parts. Not everything fits into social convention.
In any case, from reading your posts, you seem to be the one doing all the fretting. Wish your friend well. Then let it go. If you find it hard to do that, ask yourself why.
I would feel the same as you do Jo.
if my friend was dear to me, I would do anything to protect him of her from harm.
I find it strange that this woman is willing to come over to see him a man she doesn't really know, and stay for a week and already have the plan to live with him. I see it as an opportunity for her to start a new life easy. the fact that they really don't match in real life, is very present and that would worry me.
problem is, any many have said it already, it's not really your problem because it's your friends life and he has to decide what to do.
but at the same time, i think it wouldn't hurt to tell him what you think about all this and then let go.
the only thing you can do is to remain stand by and let things between them happen. when time comes, and your friend needs a friend because he is hurt, you are there for him
succes Jo!
if my friend was dear to me, I would do anything to protect him of her from harm.
I find it strange that this woman is willing to come over to see him a man she doesn't really know, and stay for a week and already have the plan to live with him. I see it as an opportunity for her to start a new life easy. the fact that they really don't match in real life, is very present and that would worry me.
problem is, any many have said it already, it's not really your problem because it's your friends life and he has to decide what to do.
but at the same time, i think it wouldn't hurt to tell him what you think about all this and then let go.
the only thing you can do is to remain stand by and let things between them happen. when time comes, and your friend needs a friend because he is hurt, you are there for him
succes Jo!
personally i wouldnt have anyone i dont know come and stay with me, all i need to come back from work and find everything missing, if she wanted to come and stay close to me, so we could get to know eachother and take things from there thats different
josingleinspain: Fine you are all right i was just looking out for a friend i guess i was wrong so i will stand by and see him get hurt and used as i do know enough about it to know that will be the end result. I think i should really stop trying to give people advice and just let them get on with their lives.............Thanx for the replies
You are not really happy with the replies.
You guess that you are wrong but still insist that your friend will get hurt, meaning that you are right.
Your friend wants a bicycle, fine. Now it is time to remove the trainer wheels, push him off and let him pedal. It is the only way forward.
I find that it is better to give advice when asked, (mostly) and then let people decide. Otherwise it is not advice but it is an order.
Cheer up Josingleinspain and keep your chin up.
Bental: You are not really happy with the replies.
You guess that you are wrong but still insist that your friend will get hurt, meaning that you are right.
Your friend wants a bicycle, fine. Now it is time to remove the trainer wheels, push him off and let him pedal. It is the only way forward.
I find that it is better to give advice when asked, (mostly) and then let people decide. Otherwise it is not advice but it is an order.
Cheer up Josingleinspain and keep your chin up.
You guess that you are wrong but still insist that your friend will get hurt, meaning that you are right.
Your friend wants a bicycle, fine. Now it is time to remove the trainer wheels, push him off and let him pedal. It is the only way forward.
I find that it is better to give advice when asked, (mostly) and then let people decide. Otherwise it is not advice but it is an order.
Cheer up Josingleinspain and keep your chin up.
The order: restore the order.
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