Why do ppl stay stuck in the past rather than letting the future happen? (8)
yellaboii2386: Hello C.S.It's been a long time since I posted on here... So I decided to get back on here just need a small tad bit of Advice...Why is so hard for people to be stuck in the Past... I know they always say "Your past reflects your Future" But by that same token I find it very Difficult to sit up here and want to do right.. and yet have a person always throwing up in my face " Well back then you didn't want this" or "back then you didn't do this" and my simple response is... and correct me if I'm wrong but.. I told that person "You can either stay stuck in the past" and "Tell me what I didn't do" or you can accept that I'm willing and wating to do better in this present life and wanting to be their for these Kids.. And like I told her.. It's not about The father and the mother as a "relationship whole." It more about being their for these Children.. So that my topic for the day... Forget my relationship LET ME BE THEIR 4 MY KIDS. And quit staying stuck in the past for the Love of God... The only thing I can come up with is... If you stay stuck in the past the only thing you do is prolong yourself and you miss out on Future comings and the benefits that you could of had.. But that jmo...
In any marital breakdown the children are the ones that suffer the most so its vital regardless of the spouses feelings that the children should be put first. The constant bickering and trauma between spouses will ultimately rub of on the children which is very sad as these children love both parents.
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englishelegance: In any marital breakdown the children are the ones that suffer the most so its vital regardless of the spouses feelings that the children should be put first. The constant bickering and trauma between spouses will ultimately rub of on the children which is very sad as these children love both parents.
So well stated...
If your past is thought of less than adequate, live well today because tomorrow you will have a new past.
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When relationships break down sometimes it is the hurt that the people feel that causes them to remain in the past. Some people do change while others remain the same. If you have changed and want to do better for your children, then put them first. Couples need to realize that they should love their children more than they hate each other. 
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midnight_angel_1: When relationships break down sometimes it is the hurt that the people feel that causes them to remain in the past. Some people do change while others remain the same. If you have changed and want to do better for your children, then put them first. Couples need to realize that they should love their children more than they hate each other.
Well said Midnight, but sadly some people get "Stuck" and try as they may cant, or dont want to move on and find a better life. Can only hope these people find a way out and start to live again.
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FAMILY COUNSELING. It would help. Even if it is just you, OP
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yellaboii2386: Hello C.S.It's been a long time since I posted on here... So I decided to get back on here just need a small tad bit of Advice...Why is so hard for people to be stuck in the Past... I know they always say "Your past reflects your Future" But by that same token I find it very Difficult to sit up here and want to do right.. and yet have a person always throwing up in my face " Well back then you didn't want this" or "back then you didn't do this" and my simple response is... and correct me if I'm wrong but.. I told that person "You can either stay stuck in the past" and "Tell me what I didn't do" or you can accept that I'm willing and wating to do better in this present life and wanting to be their for these Kids.. And like I told her.. It's not about The father and the mother as a "relationship whole." It more about being their for these Children.. So that my topic for the day... Forget my relationship LET ME BE THEIR 4 MY KIDS. And quit staying stuck in the past for the Love of God... The only thing I can come up with is... If you stay stuck in the past the only thing you do is prolong yourself and you miss out on Future comings and the benefits that you could of had.. But that jmo...
Each day we wake up breathing is a brand new chance to start over and do the right thing. People stay stuck in the past because obviously there may be unresolved issues on their part that need attending too.
My suggestion to you is keep moving forward, encourage her to let go, show her through your words, actions and deeds that you intend to be an active parent to your kids and that you've changed. Eventually, it will sink in that you are letting go of those issues and want nothing more than to look to the future.
No matter what, just stay focused on your objective, keep your head high and always strive to do the mature, adult thing in any situation and when it comes to your kids, always put them first and let her pettiness go in one ear and out the other. Good luck!
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In response to: Hello C.S.It's been a long time since I posted on here... So I decided to get back on here just need a small tad bit of Advice...Why is so hard for people to be stuck in the Past... I know they always say "Your past reflects your Future" But by that same token I find it very Difficult to sit up here and want to do right.. and yet have a person always throwing up in my face " Well back then you didn't want this" or "back then you didn't do this" and my simple response is... and correct me if I'm wrong but.. I told that person "You can either stay stuck in the past" and "Tell me what I didn't do" or you can accept that I'm willing and wating to do better in this present life and wanting to be their for these Kids.. And like I told her.. It's not about The father and the mother as a "relationship whole." It more about being their for these Children.. So that my topic for the day... Forget my relationship LET ME BE THEIR 4 MY KIDS. And quit staying stuck in the past for the Love of God... The only thing I can come up with is... If you stay stuck in the past the only thing you do is prolong yourself and you miss out on Future comings and the benefits that you could of had.. But that jmo...
Because You Asked!
Today is the FIRST DAY, Of the rest Of YOUR LIFE!
is one of My favotite sayings in this life
Unfortunately, we cannot Forget the past...
It is what remind us of Past mistakes,
It is what teaches us, for Better Tomorrows...
Tho true, we dont need to stay Stuck in it, preventing us from moving foreward, in a More mature manner....
and YES, For The Love Of God... Do all You can do for these kids...
No matter how hard it is for adults to go thru this...
The kids get it about 10 times worst....
They are young, and their minds are Young, and the biggest TRAUMA is this was the WORST thing they ever experienced....and Remember!!!!! It is Like Being Branded!
so this, Had Engulfed, and Totally Filled Their Mind,
with Disaster...With Resentments, with Inner bitterness....
That they were delt a bad hand in Life...
IT STICKS, to their innocent Minds...
Most times, It cannot be Removed....
So Now these Children need about 10 times the Love, The caring,, and Most of all, to help them understand To NOT follow the same path....
To Do this, first You must educate YOURSELF, to understand...
Love, in its Greatest Form...
So You can Pass it on to them...
I was the Child who went thru this about 44 yrs ago....
It STUNG ME BADLY!.....
I have had to do Great Reaserch on MY OWN.... To Educate Myself, so I could Live again...
I studied the Word LOVE, Marriage, Divorice, For a LONG TIME!
It helped me Grow in Understanding Life...
the most affected Kids are between about 4-9 yrs of age, as they cannot comprehend what happened to them, They Need even More help... Maybe By Profession Help, Free Counciling Should be available....
The Biggest thing for these kids is they have NO ANSWERS!
They Dont Understand.... and even Wort than that Most Adults dont understand it either....
Sad to say......so If You teach them, at least they can learn before they become LOST ADULTS!
Its up to You Dad!
If You want More Resources, Email me....I can send you some info..
Hotrod
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It's been a long time since I posted on here... So I decided to get back on here just need a small tad bit of Advice...
Why is so hard for people to be stuck in the Past... I know they always say "Your past reflects your Future" But by that same token I find it very Difficult to sit up here and want to do right.. and yet have a person always throwing up in my face " Well back then you didn't want this" or "back then you didn't do this" and my simple response is... and correct me if I'm wrong but.. I told that person "You can either stay stuck in the past" and "Tell me what I didn't do" or you can accept that I'm willing and wating to do better in this present life and wanting to be their for these Kids.. And like I told her.. It's not about The father and the mother as a "relationship whole." It more about being their for these Children.. So that my topic for the day... Forget my relationship LET ME BE THEIR 4 MY KIDS. And quit staying stuck in the past for the Love of God... The only thing I can come up with is... If you stay stuck in the past the only thing you do is prolong yourself and you miss out on Future comings and the benefits that you could of had.. But that jmo...