Why are We Parents So Critical of Ourselves? ( Archived) (9)

That is my question.... I mean I am always feeling so crappy about not spending enough time with my son, feeling like I neglect him to go to work 5 days a week. I feel that I don't spend enough money on him-not buying him all kinds of fun toys and stuff.... And then I read a post in another thread where Windygirl says something to the effect that she is proud to be a mom and tries even if she isn't the greatest.... This shocked me coz Windy seems to be the kind of woman to have all her junk together and is intelligent, confident, and in control of her life. So it took me back that she could be so critical of herself, it made me start to think about just how critical I was of myself as a parent.. Is this just a thing all parents go thru?

yes...I believe all decent parents are overly critical of themselves...but if you think about it...that is part of what makes you a good parent.If the effort is not there, then that parent is an idiot.

LOL, while I certainly appreciate the compliments, trust I'm not those things. I just "fake it til I make it", or wing it til I really am those things. lol

We're supposed to be critical of ourselves. That's just what we do. Always comparing ourselves with the Joneses. I might be a sucky Mom, but if I'm making huge efforts, than I'm great and succeeding. The minute I think I'm great and quit striving to be better, I truly suck.

How's that for a scientific, technical explanation?

The fact that you think this way demonstrates that you are a great mum. Nobody can claim to be the perfect mum or dad, and we are made to feel guilty if we are working mums or stay at home mums. I chose to work part time until my kids started school then I worked full time and continued to do so. My kids are in their twenties now and they are responsible, caring adults who, I know, are very proud of their mum. They live in the UK, I am here in Spain and I occasionally feel pangs of guilt that I am away from them, so those feelings never cease no matter how old your kids are.

yup amanda pretty sure every parent thinks this way.. always trying and telling ourselves what we are doing wrong.. or could be doing better..

I am always getting pats on the back from people and family telling me I am such a great mom...but at night when I am laying in bed thinking of the day...I know I have my guilts. It isn't easy being a single mom...I am aways wondering if I am doing enough. No matter how hard I try or how hard I work or how much I just hold my knottheads...I still worry if it is enough. I think it will always be in the back of my mind pushing me to be better...work harder and hold on to them tighter. Maybe that is what helps to keep us balanced and on track as a good parent.

The parents that don't seem to worry or care about their kids or have any guilt about trying to be better...are the ones that drive me crazy. So if you stress about being a better parent then you must be doing something right...right?

I've been thinking about this subject a bit lately, and rather than starting a thread, I went hunting for one....amazing what you find back there...


Why is it we are not enough?

As parents, love and patience, gentle guidance and respect is not enough anymore?

When did they lose their value?

When did our parenting skills and whether we were good, or not so good parents, become reflected by the stuff our kids own?

The 'tools' of childhood, such as mobile phones, tv's, laptops, whatever the newest music delivery thingo is next week?

Why have we got caught up in all that?

As parents, we do our best to make sure our kids grow into something we can be proud of, with hopes that they do as well if not better than we did.




When the day comes and have children of their own, then we can sit back and saying "See what we went thru"