What do you do , when you can't trust your adult child? (28)
starshinebrightRiverside, California USA189 Threads 1 Polls 6,305 PostsI can't prove a thing.............so how do I confront this 25 yr old son? Recently had to move in with me...........
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He is old enough now to stop treating him like a son, but as an adult. Trust is earned and if he hasn't earned yours, talk to him straight up and tell him why and how you feel and think.
Best of luck S.....
Best of luck S.....
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If their is no trust, why let him into your home?
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What do you suspect?
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starshinebright: I can't prove a thing.............so how do I confront this 25 yr old son? Recently had to move in with me...........
Oh, my heart sank into my boots when I read this
Adult children in trouble are just the most worrying, worrying thing - at least when they are children you have the control as a parent to take the appropriate steps to try to fix whatever the problem is.
When they are adults, they can only fix the problem themselves .. that's if they can and want to .. and may or may not want your help. It's their choice.
In the meantime, you worry, have sleepless nights and try to deal with the stress
It's very difficult and very stressful. I hope the problem is resolved soon
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NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: If their is no trust, why let him into your home?
Learning experience for me.............tough love............hardest thing ever...........I am getting close to it though...........holidays makes it harder for me.............
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NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: If their is no trust, why let him into your home?
Because it is almost impossible for mothers to turn their backs on their children no matter what they do.
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starshinebright: Learning experience for me.............tough love............hardest thing ever...........I am getting close to it though...........holidays makes it harder for me.............
Just lay down the rules in your home
Have him get a PO box because if he used your address it will become his legal address.
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serene56: Oh, my heart sank into my boots when I read this
Adult children in trouble are just the most worrying, worrying thing - at least when they are children you have the control as a parent to take the appropriate steps to try to fix whatever the problem is.
When they are adults, they can only fix the problem themselves .. that's if they can and want to .. and may or may not want your help. It's their choice.
In the meantime, you worry, have sleepless nights and try to deal with the stress It's very difficult and very stressful.
I hope the problem is resolved soon
Adult children in trouble are just the most worrying, worrying thing - at least when they are children you have the control as a parent to take the appropriate steps to try to fix whatever the problem is.
When they are adults, they can only fix the problem themselves .. that's if they can and want to .. and may or may not want your help. It's their choice.
In the meantime, you worry, have sleepless nights and try to deal with the stress It's very difficult and very stressful.
I hope the problem is resolved soon
Oh my......thats it in a Christmas nut shell............
Just need to know I am not the only one...stuck......you love you kids with all your heart...............and then you know...........not a kid...................anymore..........but holidays............makes a mom's heart hurt
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serene56: Oh, my heart sank into my boots when I read this
Adult children in trouble are just the most worrying, worrying thing - at least when they are children you have the control as a parent to take the appropriate steps to try to fix whatever the problem is.
When they are adults, they can only fix the problem themselves .. that's if they can and want to .. and may or may not want your help. It's their choice.
In the meantime, you worry, have sleepless nights and try to deal with the stress It's very difficult and very stressful.
I hope the problem is resolved soon
Adult children in trouble are just the most worrying, worrying thing - at least when they are children you have the control as a parent to take the appropriate steps to try to fix whatever the problem is.
When they are adults, they can only fix the problem themselves .. that's if they can and want to .. and may or may not want your help. It's their choice.
In the meantime, you worry, have sleepless nights and try to deal with the stress It's very difficult and very stressful.
I hope the problem is resolved soon
Oh my......thats it in a Christmas nut shell............
Just need to know I am not the only one...stuck......you love you kids with all your heart...............and then you know...........not a kid...................anymore..........but holidays............makes a mom's heart hurt
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freesparrow: Because it is almost impossible for mothers to turn their backs on their children no matter what they do.
True. And no matter how old they are
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starshinebright: Oh my......thats it in a Christmas nut shell............
Just need to know I am not the only one...stuck......you love you kids with all your heart...............and then you know...........not a kid...................anymore..........but holidays............makes a mom's heart hurt
Just need to know I am not the only one...stuck......you love you kids with all your heart...............and then you know...........not a kid...................anymore..........but holidays............makes a mom's heart hurt
I understand. Our situations may be a little different perhaps, who knows, who cares, but you're not alone
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starshinebright: I can't prove a thing.............so how do I confront this 25 yr old son? Recently had to move in with me...........
Hes still your child,no different now,just ask him,just like you did when he was young.No matter what they do we still love them. ------ This thread is Archived ------
serene56: I understand. Our situations may be a little different perhaps, who knows, who cares, but you're not alone
I can be a UK citizen if I want I was born in England, and I ...in my heart believe.....I would be better off there, and my kids could grow up if I made that choice............they never had their dad after we split............now his wife is dying.........and he is in their life.............wth.....
I was am and will always be.................but if you can't be ther e for me............
this sums it up
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Not the Mama...anymore..............Mother...Now 
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You are not alone. My adult child has done so much to make me lose all trust. It feels like a dagger in your heart and you wonder what happened to that sweet child that used to bring mom flowers from the backyard. I forgive and forgive and forgive... And pray that some day he will remember the things I tried to teach him about life. Communicate your feelings as much as possible.
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starshinebright: Not the Mama...anymore..............Mother...Now
Depending on the circumstances, it's not always easy to "cut the cord" ..
If it's purely a matter of our children learning to take responsibility for themselves and their actions, I'd like to think I would be capable of "tough love".
We are doing them a favour in the long run, I believe
They will learn to be strong, independent and, after all, we won't always be here to catch them when they fall.At the same time, once we have raised our children, we deserve to live our lives too
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joyannie: I agree.... starshinebright you are not alone...not by a long shot!
sad place...........
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Created: Nov 2010
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