Getting ready to date a separated man ... (157)
doberman3: Pike, we don't agree, I came out off a 25 year marriage, that is alot of years. I do not want to wait until I'm a old goat to marry.
If that is for you, fine.
You see, just because he says 5 years down the road if you are right for each other, doesn't mean I will have luxury property cheap to buy in Florida.
It means that it might not happen. I know what I want.
I won't hang by a thread waiting for a guy to decide it's time.
Look at waity Katie. She did wait and she's dam lucky she's finally getting married to William. I'd never wait for a guy that long.
The Dobe
If that is for you, fine.
You see, just because he says 5 years down the road if you are right for each other, doesn't mean I will have luxury property cheap to buy in Florida.
It means that it might not happen. I know what I want.
I won't hang by a thread waiting for a guy to decide it's time.
Look at waity Katie. She did wait and she's dam lucky she's finally getting married to William. I'd never wait for a guy that long.
The Dobe
i just put it out there. take what you can use,
and leave the rest.
trust me, i understand situational stuff.
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rohaan: Hey kiddo--we have had so many wonderful talks I surely wouldn't want to say anything that would be even remotely hurtful. There's no umbrella policy on this, but possibly some guidelines. Keeping in mind that nobody knows until they walk a mile in the other person's shoes, I venture to say that dating a married, even separated person is asking for it. (That person can always duck out, using the legally married status for a complete and clean back-up. It is a recipe for disaster, and a full tilt-boogie way for them to use you. I see nothing wrong in waiting until a divorce is finalized, or looking for someone without this complication. If you are married, you are not available. JMO
I do not mind what you think, Rohaan, I want other views.
I did get dates while separated, thank god.
My ex to be was in Tennessee. He had forsaken me. It was good for me to get out.
Now I agree, not everyone is like me. There are plenty of separated people that do go back to their spouses.
I have never dated this guy. I would say, I would never even write to a separated guy again. Lesson learned.
But I must say, this guy was available in his own way. But it would not suit someone who wanted a real relationship.
It would be a casual relationship, no strings.
So maybe in a real crude way, he was saving me from getting involved with him. I am very glad I didn't walk that way.
The Dobe
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doberman3: We had been chatting on another site. He had been doing everything perfect, calling me when he said he would. It felt great.
We had interesting conversation. He was working on getting his divorce.
He had said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. I agreed.
He needed time to sell his house, keep the divorce on track, etc.
Then I get a note, that he thinks he could not have the same zest for my dog as I did. He said he likes kids better but he does like dogs.
Then he was afraid, he wasn't ready for a serious relationship.
I was more upset about the problem with my dog. I also said, kids were not a problem. Not sure what kids had to do with anything since his kids were grown up. I also wasn't looking for a serious relationship unless it turned into one.
I like my Dobe more than him. I would not trade anything in the world for him greeting me at the door, etc.
Oh, well, win some and lose some. I think he had just lost interest.
I feel better without him.
I said that I guess we weren't having a date Saturday, ha.
The Doberman
We had interesting conversation. He was working on getting his divorce.
He had said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. I agreed.
He needed time to sell his house, keep the divorce on track, etc.
Then I get a note, that he thinks he could not have the same zest for my dog as I did. He said he likes kids better but he does like dogs.
Then he was afraid, he wasn't ready for a serious relationship.
I was more upset about the problem with my dog. I also said, kids were not a problem. Not sure what kids had to do with anything since his kids were grown up. I also wasn't looking for a serious relationship unless it turned into one.
I like my Dobe more than him. I would not trade anything in the world for him greeting me at the door, etc.
Oh, well, win some and lose some. I think he had just lost interest.
I feel better without him.
I said that I guess we weren't having a date Saturday, ha.
The Doberman
My advice, get some nice vibrating toys until someone comes along who is worth the time.
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geneva60: My question is does one have to like someone's pets when they date? as well as the date/partner/lover?
I think he said he liked his children more than her dog, right? I can understand that because most people like their kids more than even their partner or spouse who is not the biological parent of the kids.
I think he said he liked his children more than her dog, right? I can understand that because most people like their kids more than even their partner or spouse who is not the biological parent of the kids.
He doesn't have to love the dog I have at the time but he has to love dogs and animals in general
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pikengren: i just put it out there. take what you can use,
and leave the rest.
trust me, i understand situational stuff.
and leave the rest.
trust me, i understand situational stuff.
Pike to be honest, I don't hold much with what men say anymore. My eyes are opening wide.
I look at actions of men. It is more telling than words.
Words flow easy, but doing what they say is another thing.
It's the same with women.
My ex had a phrase that I knew meant no. If he said, he had to think about it, that was a loud no, no way were we going to do something. I would say, thanks for letting me know.
The Dobe
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doberman3: I do not mind what you think, Rohaan, I want other views.
I did get dates while separated, thank god.
My ex to be was in Tennessee. He had forsaken me. It was good for me to get out.
Now I agree, not everyone is like me. There are plenty of separated people that do go back to their spouses.
I have never dated this guy. I would say, I would never even write to a separated guy again. Lesson learned.
But I must say, this guy was available in his own way. But it would not suit someone who wanted a real relationship.
It would be a casual relationship, no strings.
So maybe in a real crude way, he was saving me from getting involved with him. I am very glad I didn't walk that way.
The Dobe
me too. I did get dates while separated, thank god.
My ex to be was in Tennessee. He had forsaken me. It was good for me to get out.
Now I agree, not everyone is like me. There are plenty of separated people that do go back to their spouses.
I have never dated this guy. I would say, I would never even write to a separated guy again. Lesson learned.
But I must say, this guy was available in his own way. But it would not suit someone who wanted a real relationship.
It would be a casual relationship, no strings.
So maybe in a real crude way, he was saving me from getting involved with him. I am very glad I didn't walk that way.
The Dobe
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doberman3: Pike to be honest, I don't hold much with what men say anymore. My eyes are opening wide.
I look at actions of men. It is more telling than words.
Words flow easy, but doing what they say is another thing.
It's the same with women.
My ex had a phrase that I knew meant no. If he said, he had to think about it, that was a loud no, no way were we going to do something. I would say, thanks for letting me know.
The Dobe
Wow-this is bringing back a few memories. You know, why can't people just say "No" if they mean no? Sure would clear a lot of stuff up---just saying...I look at actions of men. It is more telling than words.
Words flow easy, but doing what they say is another thing.
It's the same with women.
My ex had a phrase that I knew meant no. If he said, he had to think about it, that was a loud no, no way were we going to do something. I would say, thanks for letting me know.
The Dobe
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Snuggs09: He doesn't have to love the dog I have at the time but he has to love dogs and animals in general
He didn't like how much I liked my dog. I mean come on, is it a crime?
I've noticed from friends that I have on Facebook, Doberman people across the world seem very close to their dogs. I think it is because the Doberman is a very expressive dog and wants to be near you. They are called the velcro dog.
This guy said he liked dogs. I think it was just another excuse.
My Dobe and I are happy not to be around him. If he told me that and wanted to be with me, believe me, Mamma would not be happy.
The Dobe
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doberman3: Pike to be honest, I don't hold much with what men say anymore. My eyes are opening wide.
I look at actions of men. It is more telling than words.
Words flow easy, but doing what they say is another thing.
It's the same with women.
My ex had a phrase that I knew meant no. If he said, he had to think about it, that was a loud no, no way were we going to do something. I would say, thanks for letting me know.
The Dobe
I look at actions of men. It is more telling than words.
Words flow easy, but doing what they say is another thing.
It's the same with women.
My ex had a phrase that I knew meant no. If he said, he had to think about it, that was a loud no, no way were we going to do something. I would say, thanks for letting me know.
The Dobe
okee dokee.
then hurry up and marry one.
i thought i understood your last post,
but now i'm confused.
no worries. i'm used to it.
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doberman3: It can be a problem if you do not have kids. Maybe I do like my pets more than some people, but I have always been a animal nut. It is one of my favorite things.
But if he can have a problem with that, then say, he is a dog person but he likes kids more, I do not get it.
I mean he tells me he doesn't want to get serious, then he says that about my dog.
I am just trying to say, I have to be who I am. If how I am bothers him, frankly my dear, I don't give a dam.
You see, I don't know why he even had to mention the dog thing. I mean, he had said enough about not wanting a relationship. Why make it worse?
So I do feel, he was a little more picky than I'd care for.
So I think it was for the best for sure.
The Dobe
But if he can have a problem with that, then say, he is a dog person but he likes kids more, I do not get it.
I mean he tells me he doesn't want to get serious, then he says that about my dog.
I am just trying to say, I have to be who I am. If how I am bothers him, frankly my dear, I don't give a dam.
You see, I don't know why he even had to mention the dog thing. I mean, he had said enough about not wanting a relationship. Why make it worse?
So I do feel, he was a little more picky than I'd care for.
So I think it was for the best for sure.
The Dobe
Thank you. I don't understand what the dog has to do with the kids. It's your dog, you take care of the dog. I just think he lost interest.
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He didn't like how much I liked my dog.
I get what you mean.
I get what you mean.------ This thread is Archived ------
doberman3: He didn't like how much I liked my dog. I mean come on, is it a crime?
I've noticed from friends that I have on Facebook, Doberman people across the world seem very close to their dogs. I think it is because the Doberman is a very expressive dog and wants to be near you. They are called the velcro dog.
This guy said he liked dogs. I think it was just another excuse.
My Dobe and I are happy not to be around him. If he told me that and wanted to be with me, believe me, Mamma would not be happy.
The Dobe
I've noticed from friends that I have on Facebook, Doberman people across the world seem very close to their dogs. I think it is because the Doberman is a very expressive dog and wants to be near you. They are called the velcro dog.
This guy said he liked dogs. I think it was just another excuse.
My Dobe and I are happy not to be around him. If he told me that and wanted to be with me, believe me, Mamma would not be happy.
The Dobe
I would dare say that if someone has a dog it's not about liking the dog. You are either a dog person or you (someone) isn't.
Dogs are a member of the family. If a guy came on the scene and said he didn't want kids, you would get rid of your child. Why should someone get rid of their dog.
I think if a man/woman doesn't want a dog in the relationship there might be some jealous issues.
Personally, I couldn't be bothered with that nonsense. I'd tell him right off the bat that I have a dog and I would continue to talk about my dog so that he gets the idea how important my dog is to me.
Love me, love my dog...
By the way Dobe, I am fight generation Cherokee.
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rohaan: Wow-this is bringing back a few memories. You know, why can't people just say "No" if they mean no? Sure would clear a lot of stuff up---just saying...
Yes, Rohaan, that really bugged me when he did that. I mean, he said yes and no fine at times, then other times, out comes this lame statement.
I would always get him for it. It had become a habit of his.
I would always say, you mean no.
So many things could be clearer up if we could understand each other better.
I think so often, people expect you to be a mind reader.
I talked to another guy recently.
I asked him if he wanted to go to a party the night before.
Dam, him, he said yes.
The next day, mid day he says would it break you heart if we did not go?
I said yes. I didn't mean it quite like that, but, yes, I would like to go.
We never went. That was the last I saw of him.
He said, didn't you understand I didn't want to go?
I said, no, you did not say out right,
the magic words, "No, I do not want to go."
That is when it becomes a game, I don't want to play with guys like that.
The Dobe
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Snuggs09: I would dare say that if someone has a dog it's not about liking the dog. You are either a dog person or you (someone) isn't.
By the way Dobe, I am fight generation Cherokee.
By the way Dobe, I am fight generation Cherokee.
fifth generation
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doberman3: I do not mind what you think, Rohaan, I want other views.
I did get dates while separated, thank god.
My ex to be was in Tennessee. He had forsaken me. It was good for me to get out.
Now I agree, not everyone is like me. There are plenty of separated people that do go back to their spouses.
I have never dated this guy. I would say, I would never even write to a separated guy again. Lesson learned.
But I must say, this guy was available in his own way. But it would not suit someone who wanted a real relationship.
It would be a casual relationship, no strings.
So maybe in a real crude way, he was saving me from getting involved with him. I am very glad I didn't walk that way.
The Dobe
I did get dates while separated, thank god.
My ex to be was in Tennessee. He had forsaken me. It was good for me to get out.
Now I agree, not everyone is like me. There are plenty of separated people that do go back to their spouses.
I have never dated this guy. I would say, I would never even write to a separated guy again. Lesson learned.
But I must say, this guy was available in his own way. But it would not suit someone who wanted a real relationship.
It would be a casual relationship, no strings.
So maybe in a real crude way, he was saving me from getting involved with him. I am very glad I didn't walk that way.
The Dobe
so true
I know stories where that happened
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pikengren: okee dokee.
then hurry up and marry one.
i thought i understood your last post,
but now i'm confused.
no worries. i'm used to it.
then hurry up and marry one.
i thought i understood your last post,
but now i'm confused.
no worries. i'm used to it.
I AM not ready to marry a man.
It's about taking your time
to find the best man.
I do not know what you are confused
about if you do not state it.
The Dobe
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I don't think this is about your dog 
I love dogs, but think people are more important
He sounds as if he is not ready for a relationship with you or anyone, and I think your better off knowing now.
I love dogs, but think people are more important
He sounds as if he is not ready for a relationship with you or anyone, and I think your better off knowing now.
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vinny1967: I don't think this is about your dog
I love dogs, but think people are more important
He sounds as if he is not ready for a relationship with you or anyone, and I think your better off knowing now.
I love dogs, but think people are more important
He sounds as if he is not ready for a relationship with you or anyone, and I think your better off knowing now.
I agree that's it's not about the dog.
He's testing the waters.....
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vinny1967: I don't think this is about your dog
I love dogs, but think people are more important
He sounds as if he is not ready for a relationship with you or anyone, and I think your better off knowing now.
I love dogs, but think people are more important
He sounds as if he is not ready for a relationship with you or anyone, and I think your better off knowing now.
I agree Vinny. I think he may have said that to turn me off now that I
think about it.
I am glad I know.
It was just a shock to get the note, I had just talked to him Sunday.
Whatever as they say,
another one bits the dust.
I'm glad it wasn't me.
The Dobe
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and divorced in five.
i don't think it should matter. if its right for you,
you'll be together five years later, marriage or no marriage.
Pike, we don't agree, I came out off a 25 year marriage, that is alot of years. I do not want to wait until I'm a old goat to marry.
If that is for you, fine.
You see, just because he says 5 years down the road if you are right for each other, doesn't mean I will have luxury property cheap to buy in Florida.
It means that it might not happen. I know what I want.
I won't hang by a thread waiting for a guy to decide it's time.
Look at waity Katie. She did wait and she's dam lucky she's finally getting married to William. I'd never wait for a guy that long.
The Dobe