It's 4:52am here............ ( Archived) (10)

This isn't poetry......noe is it a quote. Just me rambling. My heart is so broken and torn. I have been crying since yesterday at 9am. A few weeks ago in September, my days were filled with excitement and happiness at my daughter's upcoming wedding on the 23rd. Although those last few days were very stressful with all the last minute things to do, the wedding went off beautifully up in the mountains in central Arizona. Too much to do and not enough rest took it's toll on me and the MS. By the time we returned from the wedding, I had what I thought was a chest cold or upper respirstory infection coming on and was nothing less than exhausted and spent the next few days in bed trying to recoup before making what was supposed to be a 4 day trip to Phoenix to visit my 89 year old aunt who raised me. She is the most incredible woman I ever met in my intire life. She wasn't the fashion plate or the social butterfly, but she loved me, my uncle, her son and grandson, my father and my brothers more than I could ever begin to describe to anyone. And she had a very strong faith in God without ever being pushy about it. Well, my son's and I went to Phoenix, only to turn around and come home the next day because I became so ill and did not want to wind up in a hospital away from home. Little did I know when I was taken to the ER on Tuesday around 3:30pm with a 104.6 temperature, that my beloved aunt was being rushed by ambulance to the hospital with yet another heart attack. She slipped into a coma for 2 days and then my family in the area requested to take her home as that is where she wanted to be. Meanwhile, I spent 6 days in the hospital with pneumonia and was sent home on oxygen and with a nebulizer machine. All the while family members calling to see how I was doing, but never mentioning to me that my aunt was sick again. No one wanted to worry me? My brother called me this morning to let me know she had passed away in her sleep in the very early hours of Monday morning. I love her so much and I am so happy for her that she no longer is suffering, that she is now with God and my uncle who we lost 12 years ago. But I am also very sad. She was the only real mother I ever had and I don't know what my life will be without her. She made me angel food cake every year for my birthday and never let me forget how much she loved me. She handsewed most of my clothes growing up since I wore a uniform to private Catholic girls school and she was there at home nearly every day when we got home from school to hug us, ask us how our day was and feed us a snack of fresh sliced apples with cinnamon or homemade cookies and milk before dinner.
I don't know what else to say except that I truly hope every one of you have had the opportunity at least once in your life to have known someone just like her and know that she loved you. Please pray for me and my family, this is probably the hardest time I have ever gone through in my life. And pray for my aunt too....I don't know what for because she truly is exactly where she has wanted to be for a very long time. But just let her know I still love her and I am going to be OK........................Pati

My god you have been through so much Pati in your life!!!!! You and your family are most certainly in my prayers and I and I am very sorry that your time was so short with your aunt during her last few remaining days!!!!!!!!

She sounds like a wonderful woman and rest assured that she died knowing how much you loved her too...even though you were ill and couldn't be at her side!!!!!!!

You know I will. Paws

I wish that there was something I could say that would lighten your heart. I do know that you have the strength of a thousand angels, and they know it too. You also have the caring and compassion of so many here on site. We are here for you. Leo

Thank you all for your kind words and caring. Native.......please try to contact Cris aka Serenity for me and tell her I will call her when I return home. Thank you Star........you are a very sweet person. Leo........I will try to call before we leave today. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me. Love to all of you and be safe.............Pati

Well its 742 pm here.

We buried my aunt on Wednesday. I feel very much at peace now having been able to see her just one more time, to touch her soft hands and kiss her cheek. She is a beautiful woman and I know she will be with me always. My physical health is still failing me right now, so I don't know when I will be back in the forums. But thank you all for your kinds thoughts and words and I hope to be able to come back soon. Your friendships, fun and laughter mean so much to me. Hugs and be safe to all of you..........Pati