Living together ( Archived) (37)

I know exactly what you're getting at. When men (some) live alone, they don't always flush the toilet when they pee. They think they are saving on the water bill and that bad habit might continue when they start to live together. It's disgusting to go in the bathroom and find that there's pee in the toilet.

I met someone at work, always saw him in a suit and tie and when we dated he was always dressed nicely in casual clothes except for when we went fishing. I moved in with him and found out he liked to walk around the house in his undershorts which I didn't like and was as lazy as they come.

He also wasn't as respectful and didn't have much patience with having a female around all the time. His whole personality changed. There were intimacy problems too. I lived with him for six years and then one day said ENOUGH !!

Anybody who thinks it's going to be the way it was when you were dating is heading for a disappointment.

This relationship taught me....Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed.

I don't know which part your question refers to.

Of course I talked to him about some of the things, other things I just took with the grain of salt. It was who he was. He was an older man and not about to change his ways. IF I had known the "real" person, I wouldn't have moved in with him. At this point in my life I would never live with someone. The days of Suzy Homemaker are over.

Well, good for your mum.

But when there are two parents, they should be working together and not against each other when it comes to raising the kids.

If dad gets piddle everywhere, boys especially will look to dad as a role model for how to be a big man. If dad lacks respect and expects other people to clear up after him, (or sit, or stand in his piss) the kid is going to do the same. It makes teaching the child that much harder and it entails teaching the child their own father is disrespectful.

Maybe mum would like dad to work with her, so she never has to teach their child that dad is not a good role model, eh? That's why dad's behaviour is not tolerated. You can't blame a kid for copying their role model, that's why their behaviour is tolerated.

Who is the grown up, for goodness' sake?

hi jac . ihad a good mum.....who taught me .....the values of love and kindness....and respect......bless her......

Well, you're looking at someone who's been single for the best part of two decades.

Some of that's to do with me and stuff I've had to do.

Some of its to do with my relationship with my daughter's father being wholly untenable.

I have no problem with a few warts, it just if they're attached to toad.

What you're kind of saying, is if we were still living in a time where divorce and seperation were not an option, would we accept more faults. The answer is yes, that's why so many people lived in atrociously unhappy marriages. It works both ways, y'know - if we have one partner for life, yes we have to accept their faults, but we are also trapped which means we run the risk of our partner behaving abominably knowing they can get away with it.

Divorce, seperation and the option to have a partner without having to get married has been a liberation for so many. What many people need is to find how to do relationships healthily and happily and come back together again with a new culture of equality.

Don't over romanticise swans. Its all very lovely and everything, but a swan's life ain't so complex. Swans c*ck don't go out every weekend, get drunk, pee all over the bathroom floor and shout obsenities at the swan hen if his dinner isn't on the table when he gets back.