Where is Daddy?? (22)
My situation is a little bit different again and I find it tough when he asks. What do you tell a 3 year old???? And he starts to ask now......
When situations like this happen and a parent removes themselves from thier childs life be it the mother or the fathers, I think that it is best to be honest with the child/children. I don't believe that they need to know everything as generally when they start to ask they are to young to really understand.
With so much goin on in thier young lives it is important that they get honesty and to know that regardless of who is no longer in thier lives that they understand that it is not thier fault.
With so much goin on in thier young lives it is important that they get honesty and to know that regardless of who is no longer in thier lives that they understand that it is not thier fault.
That is a tough one to answer as every child can handle things different than others and only you being his mother will know what he can and can not handle.
I don't believe in bad mouth the other parent to the child because regardless of what has happened or not they are still the other parent.
Maybe simply saying that daddy had to go away would be enough for some. And if he asks why.. possibly say that he did some bad things. He is way to young to know what they were. Is a 3 year old to young to learn that there are consequence for bad actions? I don't think so... it is just the degree of the consequence is alot higher.
I don't believe in bad mouth the other parent to the child because regardless of what has happened or not they are still the other parent.
Maybe simply saying that daddy had to go away would be enough for some. And if he asks why.. possibly say that he did some bad things. He is way to young to know what they were. Is a 3 year old to young to learn that there are consequence for bad actions? I don't think so... it is just the degree of the consequence is alot higher.
Thank you Twingles, that last part was really helpful. And I don't believe in bad mouthing another person either..... Haven't done it but believe me it hasn't been easy....
Can totally understand how hard it can be to not say anything. Specially when we see the hurt in the faces of our children.
Your most welcome... glad it was helpful
Your most welcome... glad it was helpful
I could not possibly answer this question, since I am at the exact opposite end of the spectrum.
The only thing that does not apply here is the support that is the one thing he does do. My kids have not seen thier father in 5 years he hasnt called or spoken with them in over a year and has only spoken with them a handful of times during thier lives. At 13 and 14 they are old enough to make thier own minds up as to why he isnt involved in thier lives. His loss I have 2 articulate and bright kids who have god given talents my son is an athlete and my girl draws and designs cloths. They both have thier issues with him not being around. My girl most of all has problems and is trying to figure out for herself who is to blame here I am often the recipient of the I hate Dad days but it is something we work on. There is only one person with the answers here but he chose not to be around to answer them.
Stephanie!!
Stephanie!!
Tumpa, you, me and a bunch of daddies.
i thought Twingles response made the most sense so far.
i thought Twingles response made the most sense so far.
So is the father of my other two children.....
i know how u feel i can relate the father of my youngest son has nothing to do with his life right now he doesnt really know anything about his father he is only 5mths old how do i tell him that his daddy doent want him in his life without feeling guilty that iam or he is to blame when its not our fault... your advice would help??
Daddy is watching the leafs kick the crap out of the best team in the league (sabres)
Darren,
You should have given a smarter response to this young woman. I don't know what to tell her. Lorraine.
You should have given a smarter response to this young woman. I don't know what to tell her. Lorraine.
Well i cant be wise in all my responses..that would make things too dull for me.
I will live this one for the ladies
I will live this one for the ladies
Hi Darren,
I am "on empty" in terms of advise for this young woman. I know, from first hand experience, that life as a single parent is not an "easy road to hoe".
Kind Regards,
Lorraine.
I am "on empty" in terms of advise for this young woman. I know, from first hand experience, that life as a single parent is not an "easy road to hoe".
Kind Regards,
Lorraine.
Well as a single parent...what did you tell your child?
This question might be a little bit easier to answer if we knew this... Do you yourself know the reason/reasons why the father is no longer in his childs life?
I do not know this for sure... but I am sure that it will be some time before your son starts to ask questions about his father and why he isn't around. Generally from what I have read or seen the child doesn't start to ask questions until something happens to show them that there is a parent missing... example.. other children and thier two parents or gatherings in school, unless of course there are other siblings involved that have a different father.
i believe in being honest with our children but only to a degree that they can understand. Would telling the child when they are old enough that daddy didn't feel that he could be the kind of father you deserve be correct? I guess it really all depends on the situation and the age of the child.
For now your son is 5 months so you have plenty of time till that situations comes around. For right now love and show your child that he is getting enough love from one parent as he would if there were two.
Cyndee
I do not know this for sure... but I am sure that it will be some time before your son starts to ask questions about his father and why he isn't around. Generally from what I have read or seen the child doesn't start to ask questions until something happens to show them that there is a parent missing... example.. other children and thier two parents or gatherings in school, unless of course there are other siblings involved that have a different father.
i believe in being honest with our children but only to a degree that they can understand. Would telling the child when they are old enough that daddy didn't feel that he could be the kind of father you deserve be correct? I guess it really all depends on the situation and the age of the child.
For now your son is 5 months so you have plenty of time till that situations comes around. For right now love and show your child that he is getting enough love from one parent as he would if there were two.
Cyndee
Well said Cyndee.
i would also add that a child does not have the abiltiy to "reason" until the age of 9. This age is when they are just beginning to learn how to do this.
I am not in this predicment, as i am a father very involved but i would say that discussing this issue in detail or length...such as the toddler years is probably not wise.
Let the child come to you and be as open and as genuine as you can be when the child does ask questions. I do not think bad talking the parent for what ever reason is called for. All this teaches the child is the things we dont want them to be taught...such as hate. Some of the responses to the child are obviously going to be very difficult. It is never easy to tell a child they have a dad " who left" but that is probably exactly the way i would explain it if it were me. It okay for them to feel hurt or upset. These are natural and normal feelings.
i would also add that a child does not have the abiltiy to "reason" until the age of 9. This age is when they are just beginning to learn how to do this.
I am not in this predicment, as i am a father very involved but i would say that discussing this issue in detail or length...such as the toddler years is probably not wise.
Let the child come to you and be as open and as genuine as you can be when the child does ask questions. I do not think bad talking the parent for what ever reason is called for. All this teaches the child is the things we dont want them to be taught...such as hate. Some of the responses to the child are obviously going to be very difficult. It is never easy to tell a child they have a dad " who left" but that is probably exactly the way i would explain it if it were me. It okay for them to feel hurt or upset. These are natural and normal feelings.
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When your children's father has walked away from their lives...and I mean really "walked away"...no support, no visitation, no calls, gifts...nothing...
What do you tell your children when they ask where their Dad is at?..and how do you help them cope with it??