I need some prayers please... (28)

Its regarding my mother...

As some of you know already. She was diagnosed with Lung cancer back in Nov 2004. She had surgery done to remove parts of her lung in Jan 05 and as much as the surgery was a success and they had removed the tumor successfuly. The cancer had spread to her stomach. So she had radiation done and then chemotherapy and again radiation till late last year (06) They said the cancer in her stomach was gone but then they found tumors in her brain. About 7 to 8 of them. They are quite small but because it was too risky they can't remove them with surgery and chemo would have just made things worse so she is on medication for it to control her seizures that they cause from it.

Well the past few weeks she has gotten way worse She was having severe pains in her legs and back. At first we thought it was because she had fell on some ice not long ago and had sprained something. But they took X-rays and checked her muscles and ligaments and all were fine.

I went to spend xmas eve and xmas day with her and I have to be honest. It took me everything not to break down. She looks really aweful. Can barely walk nor barely talk. You can tell she is just in a lot of pain even though she was trying to hide it from us. The night of xmas eve we almost had to take her to the hospital because she was in so much pain she was crying so badly. But she didn't want to go in fear of having to spend the holidays in the hospital. So my step dad called their nurse and told them to give her tylenols to ease the pain (she is on morphine pills but had already taken them and it wasn't working) She took the tylenol and it helped her to sleep and remove some of the pain. It just killed me to see her in that condition. I felt so helpless and just to see my step dad trying to hold it together broke my heart. That poor man sees her like this every single day. I can't even imagine what its like for him. Especialy he just lost his mom suddenly just before my mom got sick. He has surely been through too much.

But anyway. I found out a few days later that they found a huge lump in her stomach during an Ultrasound. She has to go for an MRI and Cat Scan. But we all know without a doubt its her cancer that has returned.

I talked to my mom today on the phone. She could barely talk. She had a very difficult time speaking out words. That really hit me hard. I nearly lost it on the phone but kept it together but once we hung up I totaly lost it. I have been crying non stop since I last saw her. I try my hardest to think positive but after awhile I just can't do it anymore.

I am not sure if I had told you all this before. And some of you might think I am crazy but whatever. Just before my mom found out she had cancer back in 04. I would say a few months before. I was having visions of her suffering and in pain. I thought I was just imagining things but then she found out about her cancer. And now since I have seen my mom at xmas. I have huge strong feelings that things are going to get worse. What scares me is when I was born, my grandmother (my mom's mom) passed away from cancer when I was barely a year old. It was close to this time of the year that she had passed. So I am starting to see a pattern here. Know what I mean? I can't help but worry.

But anyway I am sorry if I depressed you all with this.

If its not too much. Can you all pray that she dosn't go through anymore suffering and pain. I can't bare to see her like that anymore.

Thank you so much. And thanks to those who have and are a great support to me through this difficult time. It means a great deal to me and I am so greatful to have you all!

And also please make sure you let those you love know how much you love them because you just never know sometimes. Life is definatly too short and unpredictable.

You are all in my prayers for sure!!!

I know I barely know you, but I know how it feels to have a loved one go through this. We likely pray to diffrent idols, but you have my prayers.

Thanks guys! Means a lot to me!

You and you beloved Mother will be in our prayers.. I hope you both are spared any more sadness and suffering. I too have watched as my Mother slowly faded away before my very eyes ~ I know of what you speak.. and I do not wish that on anyone, to endure such pain.

Keep your faith strong..

Thank you Orchid.

I am sorry to hear about your mom. And I would never wish this on anyone either.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your mother and your family.

Thank you Arthur!

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.