Monster Storm Ophelia is set to wreak more havoc as it continues its deadly path across the British Isles. Three people died when hurricane-force winds as high as 119mph battered Ireland on Monday, leaving hundreds of thousands without power and a path of chaos in its wake.
Now Scotland is braced for fierce gusts, with flood warnings in place on the west coast. A yellow weather alert for wind has also been issued Northern Ireland, southern and central Scotland, the north of England and north-west Wales.
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Equally - you are merely an obnoxious "unemployable"