Where Does That Leave You?? (22)
Honestly yes my children are and always will be my first prioriety. After all they did come in my life way before my partner did right? (I don't mean the dad of course)
I don't say it to mean it like you think. Its just that unfortunatly I have had met some men who I dated that never gave a second glance at my children and that really turned me off. I come with carry ons and if someone wants my respect then they will have to respect my children and the fact that they are my first prioriety plain and simple.
I would also respect the fact that if I met someone who had children of his own. I would hope that he would always put his children ahead of anyone else. It just goes to show the devotion and love you have for your children. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion.
I don't say it to mean it like you think. Its just that unfortunatly I have had met some men who I dated that never gave a second glance at my children and that really turned me off. I come with carry ons and if someone wants my respect then they will have to respect my children and the fact that they are my first prioriety plain and simple.
I would also respect the fact that if I met someone who had children of his own. I would hope that he would always put his children ahead of anyone else. It just goes to show the devotion and love you have for your children. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion.
Sometimes when a girl says "my kids are the number 1 thing in my life" it
makes me feel that if I got to know this person that means there is no time for me and that my life must evolve around their kids..I have kids 1 is disabled he is autistic but even though in first spot there is room for another number 1,just a different type of number 1,,In fact I tend to shy away from a relationship where the girl has kids..It always seems like there is some hassle just lurking at least this is what I find and feel.
makes me feel that if I got to know this person that means there is no time for me and that my life must evolve around their kids..I have kids 1 is disabled he is autistic but even though in first spot there is room for another number 1,just a different type of number 1,,In fact I tend to shy away from a relationship where the girl has kids..It always seems like there is some hassle just lurking at least this is what I find and feel.
Why thank you Ed....lol...
Actually you've kind of hit the nail on the head as far as how I personally interpret that comment on a profile...
Actually you've kind of hit the nail on the head as far as how I personally interpret that comment on a profile...
Ok, here is an answer from a women who does NOT have children......
the way that i interpret it is this:
The man that may have that on his profile is just saying that his children are important. I don't read it as being in "the backseat" if a relationship would evolve......I read it as "I have children and in case this goes further, understand that they are important to me and will be part of our lives forever......."
I don't take it as a children taking priority, I take it as sharing the man that I am with.....with his children
I dunno, I may be wrong in someone elses' eyes but in my eyes and my thoughts, that is how I read it......
the way that i interpret it is this:
The man that may have that on his profile is just saying that his children are important. I don't read it as being in "the backseat" if a relationship would evolve......I read it as "I have children and in case this goes further, understand that they are important to me and will be part of our lives forever......."
I don't take it as a children taking priority, I take it as sharing the man that I am with.....with his children
I dunno, I may be wrong in someone elses' eyes but in my eyes and my thoughts, that is how I read it......
The thing is Rose...I don't NEED to be told how much a child/children mean to a person...I will SEE that in their interaction with their kids....and that will tell me far more than they could ever sum up in words....
Here is a response i copied from the international post of the same thread....Fireliter is a very astute man whose opinions I value...what do you think of his reply??
..."being one who likes to interpet what is said instead of accepting what is typed as the total truth kinda guy
I have a couple opinions on this line....
"their children are the most important thing to them,"
one is it reveals that thier chldren are such a handful that constant attention is required, beit...
the childs desire to excel or the child is very active in sports,
or the child is at that age that exploring all of lifes possible bad paths are inviting to the child.
or simply to inform the prospective suitor that there will be more time spent with the children in proximity than alone time.
all of which can be placed under the description " My children come first"
Some it means "above all my own wants and needs and desires." this type here I will avoid, it gives me the feeling that the children are in control and not the parent."....
..."being one who likes to interpet what is said instead of accepting what is typed as the total truth kinda guy
I have a couple opinions on this line....
"their children are the most important thing to them,"
one is it reveals that thier chldren are such a handful that constant attention is required, beit...
the childs desire to excel or the child is very active in sports,
or the child is at that age that exploring all of lifes possible bad paths are inviting to the child.
or simply to inform the prospective suitor that there will be more time spent with the children in proximity than alone time.
all of which can be placed under the description " My children come first"
Some it means "above all my own wants and needs and desires." this type here I will avoid, it gives me the feeling that the children are in control and not the parent."....
It's true enough. I dated and eventually married a woman who was jealous and resentful of the time I spent with my daughter...from my first marriage. She resented that I had to pay child support etc. She had no kids of her own. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I felt torn and felt like I had to choose between loyalty to my wife or loyalty to my daughter. It was a hard lesson to learn. Never again. A perspective partner must accept me as a package deal...single with kids. Some folks get possessive, they don't want to share their time or affection with kids.Maybe it is in this spirit that they qualify their kids importance in their profiles.
Rene
Rene
She is letting you know right up front that her children mean the world to her. She may have to cancel the dinner date with you because the babysitter quit, kids are sick, or there is an emergency, but it doesn't imply she is incapable of loving you.
The woman you mention is all for herself, she wants it all, house, money everything, and didn't care about your feelings. If someone enters a relationship knowing that there are children who are products of a previous relationship, then they should not be the least bit upset or surprised that child support is being paid or has to be paid. They should actually be proud to be with a partner who cares enough and know well enough not to shirk his/her financial and parental duties.
No you're not going to get the "I expect that from you Mychelle"...lol
I wanted everyone's opinion on this...none are right, none are wrong..its all just interpreted differently...and welcome your input based on experience....which is what we are all doing here...giving our perspectives on the same thing based on various experiences with it...
I wanted everyone's opinion on this...none are right, none are wrong..its all just interpreted differently...and welcome your input based on experience....which is what we are all doing here...giving our perspectives on the same thing based on various experiences with it...
I believe it means that his children are important to him and i would hope so, would it deter me from dating if someone said they are themost important thing in my life?..nope........i dated someone who ignored their kids even when they came to visit was very hard to watch and i got very attched to those boys, so if i were to be in another relationship with a man with children, he would have to be in a relationship with them, too hard to any other way....as for me thinking what his profle says, i really don't want to make any assumptions.........on anything......you really have to get to know the person and see where things go or your just sitting on the fence..
My child will be my priority as well, however my happiness in being with someone will only reflect that warmth and positiveness on him as well.
ok, I am getting what you are saying....
sometimes a man (I say man only cause that is what we, as women, are attracted to) will say that, only cause maybe their children are living with the ex and you may not see them often with their children.
I have dated men with children and often enough, they tell me that their children and NUMBERO UNO and I believe him.....our schedules are wayyy different cause every other weekend, he has his child/children and I don't want to be part of the "gathering" unless I know this relationship is going somewhere......
well, once i do meet them, it is great.......but he isn't......
he pretty much "throws" the kids on me and while HE is supposed to have them for the weekend, I DO.....and entertain them .........while he is doing his OWN thing..may it be working/gardening/whatever
the sad part is that I end up having a profound love for his kids......and end up kicking him to the curb....
but then on the flip side, there are men that do backflips for their kids but still, have the passion/love/excitement when they see you.....
I think it is just a statement that they make just to let you know that their lives does NOT ONLY centre around their child/ren .....but be prepared for cancellations in case one of them is in need......
I may be wrong Urs but that is what I am thinking........
sometimes a man (I say man only cause that is what we, as women, are attracted to) will say that, only cause maybe their children are living with the ex and you may not see them often with their children.
I have dated men with children and often enough, they tell me that their children and NUMBERO UNO and I believe him.....our schedules are wayyy different cause every other weekend, he has his child/children and I don't want to be part of the "gathering" unless I know this relationship is going somewhere......
well, once i do meet them, it is great.......but he isn't......
he pretty much "throws" the kids on me and while HE is supposed to have them for the weekend, I DO.....and entertain them .........while he is doing his OWN thing..may it be working/gardening/whatever
the sad part is that I end up having a profound love for his kids......and end up kicking him to the curb....
but then on the flip side, there are men that do backflips for their kids but still, have the passion/love/excitement when they see you.....
I think it is just a statement that they make just to let you know that their lives does NOT ONLY centre around their child/ren .....but be prepared for cancellations in case one of them is in need......
I may be wrong Urs but that is what I am thinking........
When i mention my children in my profile, i am stating what is important to me. Its a no brainer that they take priority. Many dads are just "weekend" dadfy's, if not less often than that. Not the case with me. I want it to be known that i am very involved. So i do it to be crystal clear, then the ladies can run if they so choose. lol
I feel its necessary to say these kinds of things in my profile. That does not mean i dont have time for a lady. I do have time for someone special but i just want the ladies to understand whats important to me.
I feel its necessary to say these kinds of things in my profile. That does not mean i dont have time for a lady. I do have time for someone special but i just want the ladies to understand whats important to me.
It was all I was getting at....how different people interpret that particular line in a profile...
To some its a deterrent...to some its a "no brainer"...and to some it is "just" part of the profile...
Was curious is all and certainly not knocking anyone's decision to have or not have that in their profile...merely a topic of conversation
To some its a deterrent...to some its a "no brainer"...and to some it is "just" part of the profile...
Was curious is all and certainly not knocking anyone's decision to have or not have that in their profile...merely a topic of conversation
I was just wondering, if your children are such a priority, and so important??? Is why would you post a pic of your children on the net for the whole world to see. I've noticed that even some women put their childs name on there profiles. I'm thinkin that if I was lucky enough to have had a child, I don't think I would advertize them to the world. Was just something a couple of people I know have noticed. Thought it might fit into this thread some where.
Ive never been married nor do I have kids but I respect a woman who puts thier kids as a priority I know to many peeple who dont take thier roll as a parent as they should and I dont think its a problem to state your kids as a priority but until you see that person with thier kids you wont know if they mean it (and if you dont say it in your profile it allso does not mean you dont take your kids as a priority)
As a matter of personal preference...I would not consider putting my children's pictures on my profile...for all intent and purpose..I chose to be on a dating site..they did not...
When i put my house on the market for sale...we were given the option of having potential buyers be able to take a "virtual tour" of our house..as well there were pictures of my house on the internet...the one thing I would not allow was any pictures of my childrens bedrooms...or anything else that pertained specifically to my children to be photographed or put on the website...
I would protect my children in any way possible...and that includes discussing them in my profile on a dating site....
When i put my house on the market for sale...we were given the option of having potential buyers be able to take a "virtual tour" of our house..as well there were pictures of my house on the internet...the one thing I would not allow was any pictures of my childrens bedrooms...or anything else that pertained specifically to my children to be photographed or put on the website...
I would protect my children in any way possible...and that includes discussing them in my profile on a dating site....
I agree 100% wikked
I don't blame you one bit. I can understand the discusion of children. I mean to meet a new person, there's nothing worse then not putting all the cards on the table. But like I said, I don't quite understand how someone can say their children are number one. Then post their pics and names on the net.
Maybe it's just me. I don't know?????
I don't blame you one bit. I can understand the discusion of children. I mean to meet a new person, there's nothing worse then not putting all the cards on the table. But like I said, I don't quite understand how someone can say their children are number one. Then post their pics and names on the net.
Maybe it's just me. I don't know?????
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When i read profiles...I am amazed at the amount of parents that put on there that their children are the most important thing to them, and that they take priority....
If one is a parent themself, they will know that goes without saying...or so i assumed...but the wording itself always throws me off...do they mean to imply that whoever chooses to be part of their life needs to understand from the get go that they will ALWAYS take second place in their life???
Though the fact may be that your children will always take priority..is it necessary to say so in your profile??