A question for those paying child support to their former spouse (37)

For those of us out there paying child support, what is your opinion on what expenses are expected to be covered with the money you are giving your ex spouse?

For example: Would the cost of a pair of skates, a new bike or the cost associated with registring your child(ren) into a recreational program - be it a sport or cultural activity such as music lessons, dance, be covered by child support or is it a separate thing altogheter with the cost shared between the two parents?

I am sure there is a legal precedent somewhere. Has anyone experienced this situation and want to share either opinion or factual information on the purpose of child support?

Thanks in advance for your inputs

From snowy North Bay,

Sylvain sends

I am not paying child support I am on the receiving end of it but I would like to give you my opinion. I feel that as long as I use the money he send towards things that are for the kids whether it be new clothes or paying for fees for an activity then he really should not have a problem with how I am spending the money. But if I was to start using the money for my own self then yes i could understand him having a problem with what I was doing. Thats my opinion as long as it is going towards the care of the children it should not matter.

For myself.. he pays support which goes to just general needs. Anything extra as in sports is a shared cost. Even though I would not ask for it.. but it is court ordered that we share the cost. It is the same for my boys that live with him. He could ask me to pay for half of thier sport and I would have. We just have a personal arrangment that we don't ask each other.

As a payer of child support in Ontario, there are no legal parameters as to what the payee spends the money on. I don't agree that there should be. Basically the payer has no say whatsoever. Myself, I have to trust that my kids mum spends it responsibly. The last thing I want to have to worry about is what my ex is spending her money on. On the other hand, it is a given for me that if I saw that my kids were not getting the nesessities of life because of misspending, than it becomes a question of custody.

The purpose of child support is for the non-custodial parent to pay his (most cases) legal and morally responsible share of his/her child's living expenses, that they would pay anyway if the parents were together. In my opinion, any man/woman who shirks, weasels out of, or avoids paying...is the lowest form of a man/woman. 1 step above wife beaters and child molestors in my book. That of course is if he can pay, but doesn't. As my ex is on a limited income, I cover certain things above and beyond the support I pay such as all seasonal outerwear and footwear. Its not that Im giving money to my ex. Im paying for a quality of life for my kids...I do it happily and gladly with no complaint.

So North Bay, put whatever feelings towards your ex aside and do whatever you can for your kids. If you are financially capable, suck it up and pay for whatever you can. You are only nickel and diming your kids if you don't, not your ex. If your ex is not responsible with the money you give and you can prove it, then it is a matter for family court.

Just for the record Sylvain, I am in no way suggesting you are trying to avoid your child suppoert responsibilities. If you can afford it, and it makes your kids happy, than why not? eh? I do look for ways to not get into additional disputes with my ex. A happy fragmented family is a cooperative fragmented family!


Rene

well,, for those moms and dads,, that receive child support,, that money can be used for toward your mortgage payment or your rent,, towards the phone bill,, towards the hydro bill,, all things that your growing child would use,, legally,, i am sure most responsible parents do use it responsibly

Hi I am new here to CS! I have just recently gone through all the legalities of child support and extraordinary costs. The child support payments go towards clothes, bills, groceries etc... for the child. When the time comes for sports, extracurricular activities etc... then it becomes a shared cost based on the incomes for both the parents vs the total income. Each parent would pay their percentage for the extracurricular activities, school fees, daycare... For costumes, school supplies etc..that is the responsibility of the parent who has custody of the child unless it causes extreme undo hardship. However, if the parent with custody gets out of control and enrolls the child in too many programs all at once than it is only the responsibility of the other parent to pay their legal percentage for approx 2 programs at any given point.

I do not feel it is necessary for any child to be in more than two programs at once and I believe it should be what the child wants to do not what the parent wants them to do. For instance my daughter loves dance and I put her into it. Her father has still never paid a dime towards it, but it is what she loves so I do it for her. I just wish that all parents would do what is right for their children and not use their anger to hurt the children.

Talk to you all soon!!

i dont pay child support. my kids live with me half the time.
Mom and i share any extraordinary expenses. We take turns with some things too. It sure helps to get along with the ex.