lol (7)

The newfie walked into a bar in Toronto, laid down a $20 on the table and said to a bar patron "bet you $20 that I can double my money right before your eyes in a instant!". Patron replies "you're on" and lays down another $20.

The Newfie picks up both 20s, pockets them and runs away

Did you hear about the Newfie who got a new microwave? He preheated it before putting his food in.

Young Newfoundlander left home to go to Toronto and found himself in a financial bind so he wrote a letter to his father asking for some money. His father wrote back "I would have put some money in but the envelope was already sealed".

Newfoundlanders have no appreciation for age . . . unless its bottled.

A Newfie got a maintenance job for city hall in Toronto. His first job was to get the height of the flagpole by the front steps to the city hall building. He tried sticking up the measuring tape but when it got so high, it would buckle over. A Torontonian seen him doing this, went up to him and said "here, I'll show you a easier way to do this". The Torontonian got a few people to help and they took the flagpole up from its hole, layed it on the ground, the Torontonian then took the measuring tape, measured and said to the Newfie "12 foot 8 inches". As the Torontonian was walking away, the Newfie shouted "YOU IDIOT. I WANTED THE HEIGHT, NOT THE LENGTH!"

Two Newfies buy a 5 ton truck. They drive to Nova Scotia, buy bags of turnip for $5 a bag, drives home and sells them for $5 a bag.

When they were doing the finances and realized they lost money, the first Newfie says "what did we do wrong?" The 2nd Newfie says "See, I told ya we should have bought a bigger truck!"