lol (7)

Dec 9, 2023 4:56 PM CST lol
The newfie walked into a bar in Toronto, laid down a $20 on the table and said to a bar patron "bet you $20 that I can double my money right before your eyes in a instant!". Patron replies "you're on" and lays down another $20.

The Newfie picks up both 20s, pockets them and runs away conversing
Dec 9, 2023 6:19 PM CST lol
Packersbabe1
Packersbabe1Packersbabe1Green Bay, Wisconsin USA3 Threads 15,293 Posts
laugh
Dec 18, 2023 2:00 PM CST lol
Did you hear about the Newfie who got a new microwave? He preheated it before putting his food in.

Young Newfoundlander left home to go to Toronto and found himself in a financial bind so he wrote a letter to his father asking for some money. His father wrote back "I would have put some money in but the envelope was already sealed".

Newfoundlanders have no appreciation for age . . . unless its bottled.

A Newfie got a maintenance job for city hall in Toronto. His first job was to get the height of the flagpole by the front steps to the city hall building. He tried sticking up the measuring tape but when it got so high, it would buckle over. A Torontonian seen him doing this, went up to him and said "here, I'll show you a easier way to do this". The Torontonian got a few people to help and they took the flagpole up from its hole, layed it on the ground, the Torontonian then took the measuring tape, measured and said to the Newfie "12 foot 8 inches". As the Torontonian was walking away, the Newfie shouted "YOU IDIOT. I WANTED THE HEIGHT, NOT THE LENGTH!"
Dec 19, 2023 5:49 PM CST lol
Packersbabe1
Packersbabe1Packersbabe1Green Bay, Wisconsin USA3 Threads 15,293 Posts
laugh No I haven’t
Dec 20, 2023 8:53 PM CST lol
Two Newfies buy a 5 ton truck. They drive to Nova Scotia, buy bags of turnip for $5 a bag, drives home and sells them for $5 a bag.

When they were doing the finances and realized they lost money, the first Newfie says "what did we do wrong?" The 2nd Newfie says "See, I told ya we should have bought a bigger truck!"
Dec 21, 2023 6:19 PM CST lol
Packersbabe1
Packersbabe1Packersbabe1Green Bay, Wisconsin USA3 Threads 15,293 Posts
laugh thumbs up
Dec 21, 2023 10:04 PM CST lol
The Newfie met up with his buddy at the bar. His buddy asked "Where were ya to by?" Newfie replied "I been in the lockup the last few weeks". His friend says "Really? What was the charges?"
Newfie replies "No charges, it was all free"



The Newfie got pulled over by the police and when the cop approached his car, he could smell booze coming from the Newfie. The cop asked "are you drinking tonight sir?" The Newfie replied "yes I am, I had 6 shots of whiskey, 4 rum and cokes, and 3 beers. The cop said "sir, can you step out of your vehicle for me and do a breathalyzer test for me please".

The Newfie said "WHY? DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?"
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