Should there be secrets between two people in love (7)
If the secret is kept in order to avoid the other person pain, as opposed to wanting to hurt and to deceive them, then I don't consider that a bad thing. As long as the other person has your best interest at heart, and vice versa, I don't think it's necessary to say everything. I think it is a more mature approach to loving someone.
Why, when a new relationship starts, must all the old ones get anhialated? So if/when this new one bites the dust, then she is all alone, and has to start over again? Same with the man. If the relationship is going to continue for a long time, then the old ones will automatically just fizzle out on the back-burner... wont they?
These "all or nothing" relationships can be rather scary, I think, when a partner insists that all the past be obliterated? The jewellery (one of your previous threads) and now the ex-boyfriends. What will come next?... her family? Her friends?
I had one of these relationships once, and when it bust up, I had no "support team" left..... very dangerous thing to do to any person, and selfish, in my opinion. Unless of course, you intend going out tomorrow morning and transferring all your assets into her name, so, just in case of disaster, she will have some sort of compensation...? Sorry, thats just my opinion. Now you can shoot me.
These "all or nothing" relationships can be rather scary, I think, when a partner insists that all the past be obliterated? The jewellery (one of your previous threads) and now the ex-boyfriends. What will come next?... her family? Her friends?
I had one of these relationships once, and when it bust up, I had no "support team" left..... very dangerous thing to do to any person, and selfish, in my opinion. Unless of course, you intend going out tomorrow morning and transferring all your assets into her name, so, just in case of disaster, she will have some sort of compensation...? Sorry, thats just my opinion. Now you can shoot me.
the pictures you paint here Anctus are dark of human possesiveness without real compassion, I dont see openness and selfrespect reflected here..
while thinking that the women chased in such small minded cruel manner, was in fact a 14 year old girl - who made a mistake in being afraid to tell and marry this heartless guy in the first place - of how much she must have suffered all this years with such a personality is beyond my imagination..
while thinking that the women chased in such small minded cruel manner, was in fact a 14 year old girl - who made a mistake in being afraid to tell and marry this heartless guy in the first place - of how much she must have suffered all this years with such a personality is beyond my imagination..
But would you, Hi Fi agree that two people should tell each other everything or not?
Of course here we are referring to those things that have a direct bearing on the relationship, not things like that she secretly bought a used pair of jeans ten years before getting to know her boyfriend.
Of course here we are referring to those things that have a direct bearing on the relationship, not things like that she secretly bought a used pair of jeans ten years before getting to know her boyfriend.
I take such things .. used as examples too much to my heart - but I try to be objective as much as I can..
my own feelings on those subjects leave me with the feeling that a man with real love, not only false pride and possessiveness does not react that way
my own feelings on those subjects leave me with the feeling that a man with real love, not only false pride and possessiveness does not react that way
Sorry Antcus, I got the wrong end of the stick. I agree with you, one comes up with an idea for a Thread, and then everyone assumes its your own problem.... I once asked for the opinions of CS on People who are Unreliable... and ended up with everyone giving ME advice about this Fictitious Friend whom I should get rid of!!
As to the story you told of your neighbor and kicking out his wife.... That is Cruel. Everyone has things in their lives tucked away for safekeeping and not mentioned, perhaps their own brain cannot handle the exposure, perhaps it hurts them too much to have to re-live episodes by trying to explain their actions. And being in the past, should have no bearing on present things.
Even criminals serve their time, and then are allowed to start their lives over.....without having to explain every little thing they have gone thru.
What is realy nice about Life is the "What goes around, comes around", so people who do cruel things, will have their own judgements turned against them, sometime... and the strange thing I have found, is that most times they are not of equal value... it sort of gets compounded... Scary.
As to the story you told of your neighbor and kicking out his wife.... That is Cruel. Everyone has things in their lives tucked away for safekeeping and not mentioned, perhaps their own brain cannot handle the exposure, perhaps it hurts them too much to have to re-live episodes by trying to explain their actions. And being in the past, should have no bearing on present things.
Even criminals serve their time, and then are allowed to start their lives over.....without having to explain every little thing they have gone thru.
What is realy nice about Life is the "What goes around, comes around", so people who do cruel things, will have their own judgements turned against them, sometime... and the strange thing I have found, is that most times they are not of equal value... it sort of gets compounded... Scary.
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Created: May 2007
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Last Commented: May 2007
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No, none of them still remember my number.
What she is not telling him, that half a dozen are still doing that, even though she is not taking any of them seriously, but being polite enough to them that they keep trying.
Like, how many months did you live together?
But we never did, we just dated. Finished three month relationship secretly kept from new boyfriend.