How important is it to you ( Archived) (45)

Hey Rick, gmorning...

I do believe it matters, mostly because my firneds are really important to me, but if they dont like him, they'll have to learn, because in the end it's my life...

My second ex-husband hated my family. Yeah, it bugged me. My sister and I are very close. We get together for birthday parties and holidays, just me and my boys would go. Not even sure my sister knew what my husband looked like,even after 15 years.
So therefore, my partner would have to except my family and friends. It has become very important to me.

My family is very small.

We've always been very free regarding to our choices in life. So...they would go..."Hein? Who?"



No body cares, maybe that's why i care much

I was wondering, how difficult this would be if he or she tried to please both sides for the sake of approval.

It's a double edged sword. I think it's reasonable to expect parents and family to make every effort to accept a pardner the same as it's reasonable to expect the pardner to make every effort to accept your family ... and you should be equally willing to go to the same extents for their family too. That being said, there are situations when personal friction just makes some of those relationships impossible. At that point you have to sit down, talk it out, and come to some agreement what the ground rules will be & this conversation needs to be held with both the pardner as well as the family members.

Supportive relationships come in many different forms and are a lot like clothing. You can try "off the rack", but you're going to find that for the best fit and greatest happiness, a bit of custom tailoring is required so the better you get at discussing these things with the pardner as well as the family, the better over all communicator you can become.

In rare cases you'll find inlaws that go to enormious extreams to try to accomodate difficult pardners. That's a sure sign of the love they feel for their own child. If you can harnass that power of love and devotion you're going to experience the kind of relationship that legend's are made of.

Thank you very much for the informative feedback.

I do strongly believe we come to this world to be happy, so, what others think about your partner seems really not important at all.
I was in a relationship with a german guy, for several years, one of the times he came to visit I introduce him to my best friends, mostly guys, and he acted sooooooooooooooooo weird, my friends tried, really, all of them speak english, so they tried to talk to him, about anything, and he would just say yes, no, whatever, you know...when we got back to the hotel I was pretty upset, didn't say a word, went to bed...he woke me up an apologized, he said he was jealous...but hey that´s no reason to be rude...do you think I cared??? Not really, in the moment I didn't have much fun but later on I totally forgot about it.

I have really not encountered that situation yet, most relationships of my past have been meeting thru mutual friends,. As for the my family approving I think they eitehr be happy for me or not. Lord knows i've some in-laws I ain't crazy about.

"because in the end it's my life..."

Yes. That's what it really boils down to.

What would be most omportant is how we feel about one another, my friends and family never asked me for approval about their partners when getting involved it goes without saying.

They wont have to live with him so why would I be conserned as to whether they accept him or not. As long as he respects my children, my family and I then there are no problem's. The same would go for me with his.