a little laugh for Saturday (19)

call center conversations!

Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"
Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe):
"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "OK."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
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Ok guys and dolls, I would like to share this story with you that really happened while I was on the ship....

When a new group of people get on board, everyone is obliged to go to a safety talk where they show you what you need to do in case of emergency. They tell you how to put the life jacket on, where the meeting point is etc etc. I went for this talk and paid attention, you never know. What is important to keep in mind is that if there is an emergency you will hear a series of blasts and thats when you have to get out.

A few days passed and all was plain sailing. One day we arrived in Barcelona and took the excursion and got back to the ship totally drained, it was hot and we walked a lot. So after having a late lunch we decided to go to the cabin to have a sleep to recharge our batteries for the evening.

Imagine this...we are all sleeping and all of a sudden I hear the emergency blasts...I think to myself...was I dreaming? Soon after a man on the microphone is telling everybody that there is an emergency and we should get our life jackets and go to the meeting point. So I get out of the bed and had a look at the corridor and I saw everyone with life jackets on running!! I woke mum up and told her we should get out. Mum SHOT out of the bed and was out in 3 seconds....whereas me....I went in front of the mirror, put lipgloss on, put my earings on, grabbed the sunglasses...BUT....didn't put my watch on as at the time still in sleepy mode I thought to myself, no can't wear this its not waterproof!!!

Luckily it was just a test, there wasnt a real emergency, they do it so they know how people react! When I came back to my senses I had a really good laugh at my Irish thinking

Brunette, thanks for sharing your experience!!

Brunette...classic!!!....you should do that as a stand-up routine...are you serious??...you put on make-up in the middle of a fire-drill??...women!!..I love them!..

Of course Im serious, I figured if I look good someone will save me

I hear some of Saddam Hussein's shirts have come up for auction on eBay.
The collars are a bit worn, but they hang well.


Two sharks swimming around the bay....
One says to the other, "Shall we pop down to Morcombe for a Chinese?"

The government is going to increase the allowance given to Chinese cockle pickers by 30%
It should help them keep their heads above water.

Why did Princess Diana drive in a Mercedes?
She wouldn't be seen dead in a Skoda

A newly recruited French Legionnaire found himself stationed in a remote fort in the desert. After a few weeks had gone by, he took one of the old timers aside and asked what the men did for a good time. 'We use a camel' was the taciturn reply. Revolted, the young soldier turned his thoughts elsewhere, but as time went by and he got hornier and hornier, he could think of little else. Taking aside another veteran soldier, he asked the same question and got the same answer, 'We use the camel.' Finally, desperate, the young man accepted the fact that the camel was the only available outlet, and one night he sneaked out to the barn. As luck would have it, one of the old-timers wandered by the barn and caught sight of the young soldier up on a crate, screwing the camel. 'What the hell are you doing?' he called out.
Rather puzzled, the recruit said, 'I thought you said you used the camel for a good time.'
'Yes, but usually we just ride him into town