What is most important? (18)
I give up .......
It's true what you're saying, but then most of them don't really know what they want or else they are looking for someone from Hollywood.....as if they will be on CS......
It's true what you're saying, but then most of them don't really know what they want or else they are looking for someone from Hollywood.....as if they will be on CS......
Hi Costadan 
I will try to give you my view:
1) Respect (Most important, cannot do without)
2) Sincerity (Second most important, I do not tolerate lies, not even white ones)
3) Love (Also important that one knows the meaning of love)
4) Looks (This is also important, without physical attraction nothing can be done)
5) Stability (Always nice to have stability in a relationship, one must know what he wants)
6) Little age span (Not really an important factor)
7) Ecomony (I think you mean finances, Im not materialistic but its nice to have a man that can handle finances)
8) Height (used to be a must in my books, but learnt that there are a lot more important things in a man)
9) Not Hairy (I dont mind a hairy chest and hairy legs....hairy back is not excellent but it can be removed)
10) Common hobbies (I find it very difficult to find men into Ballroom and Latin American dancing, I gave up hope)
11) Willingness to relocate (Having children its an impossible task for me)
12) No Children (I love kids and actually prefer guys to have kids therefore this is the least of my problems, my explanation for putting it last)
I will try to give you my view:
1) Respect (Most important, cannot do without)
2) Sincerity (Second most important, I do not tolerate lies, not even white ones)
3) Love (Also important that one knows the meaning of love)
4) Looks (This is also important, without physical attraction nothing can be done)
5) Stability (Always nice to have stability in a relationship, one must know what he wants)
6) Little age span (Not really an important factor)
7) Ecomony (I think you mean finances, Im not materialistic but its nice to have a man that can handle finances)
8) Height (used to be a must in my books, but learnt that there are a lot more important things in a man)
9) Not Hairy (I dont mind a hairy chest and hairy legs....hairy back is not excellent but it can be removed)
10) Common hobbies (I find it very difficult to find men into Ballroom and Latin American dancing, I gave up hope)
11) Willingness to relocate (Having children its an impossible task for me)
12) No Children (I love kids and actually prefer guys to have kids therefore this is the least of my problems, my explanation for putting it last)
What this woman want and is looking for:
1) Respect - This is paramount. Respect towards me, the ones I love and people in general.
2) Sincerity - Trust is crucial in a relationship and there is no trust if people are not sincere.
3) Love - total, the kind that makes you blind and deaf, and completely overwhelmed.
4) Sense of Houmour - being able to laugh at oneself, not take oneself and situation too seriously.
5) Looks - very subjective but of course there has to be chemistry.
6) Stability - as in knowing what you want.
7) Generous - in material things and spirit.
8) Passionate - has feelings and opinions and is not afraid to show them.
9) No Children - definitely not a condition
10) Any other things, if the above is there, can be negotiable
1) Respect - This is paramount. Respect towards me, the ones I love and people in general.
2) Sincerity - Trust is crucial in a relationship and there is no trust if people are not sincere.
3) Love - total, the kind that makes you blind and deaf, and completely overwhelmed.
4) Sense of Houmour - being able to laugh at oneself, not take oneself and situation too seriously.
5) Looks - very subjective but of course there has to be chemistry.
6) Stability - as in knowing what you want.
7) Generous - in material things and spirit.
8) Passionate - has feelings and opinions and is not afraid to show them.
9) No Children - definitely not a condition
10) Any other things, if the above is there, can be negotiable
What women want in a man at age 22:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What women want in a man at age 32:
1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
What women want in a man at age 42:
1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
What women want in a man at age 52:
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What women want in a man at age 62:
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What women want in a man at age 72:
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What women want in a man at age 32:
1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
What women want in a man at age 42:
1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
What women want in a man at age 52:
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What women want in a man at age 62:
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What women want in a man at age 72:
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
Knows what love is????????
Who could possibly know what love is...thousands of pages have been written on trying to define it, from our ancient Classical Greek writers to the Modern technocrat who give us the chemical breakdown of it and what have we come to but that "it" reacts mostly on our livers...not at all satisfying ; "My liver pines for you"...? No.
Many cultures have a multitude for one one thing, for one emotion but for "love" we only have that one word for a phenomenon that's infinitely complex and varied. Love takes so many forms; the love we feel for parents, our siblings, and our friends that are basically kind of familial and platonic; then we have romantic love, but again there are so many variations. Everyone has an opinion on love, but is this universal and often capricious emotion even capable of definition?
One dictionary says that amourous love is a deep, tender, indefinable feeling of affection and concern toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. That's a good definition, as far as it goes, but love is so much more than that. It can be fleeting or enduring, tumultuous or companionable, joyous or anguished, and it changes from moment to moment, week to week, year to year.
People have been trying to understand and explain love for millennia.
For myself, one of the best observations about it came from the ancient Greeks. Plato spoke of love in terms of completeness. In his dialog the Symposium he suggested that we all search for our other half in hopes of becoming whole. He called this human desire for completeness the search for love. In the same dialogue, Plato's mentor Socrates said, "In our lover we seek and desire that which we do not have."
Every religion has its own opinions on love, as love is usually central to our spiritual beliefs. A Christian wedding we would usually hear what St. Paul said to the Corinthians. "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoyce at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things and endures all things. Love never ends."
Judaism affirms that a husband and wife complete each other. According to the Talmud, it teaches that man is not complete without a wife; a woman is not complete without a husband. The Koran also espouses the notion of love creating wholeness, saying "God made man and woman to complete each other, as night completes the day and the day completes the night." Buddhism compares love and marriage to the intermingling of emptiness and bliss. The Dalai Lama of Tibetan Buddhism, says, "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive."
Social scientists take a more analytical approach to understanding love; two main types: "passionate love" and "Companionate love".
Passionate love consists of a state of intense continuous longing for union and powerful emotional reactions. Companionate Love is not as fired up; its having tender, trusting feelings for someone. You feel deeply attached and want to commit yourself to the other...and on it goes; I have gone on way too much....my apologies...%)
Who could possibly know what love is...thousands of pages have been written on trying to define it, from our ancient Classical Greek writers to the Modern technocrat who give us the chemical breakdown of it and what have we come to but that "it" reacts mostly on our livers...not at all satisfying ; "My liver pines for you"...? No.
Many cultures have a multitude for one one thing, for one emotion but for "love" we only have that one word for a phenomenon that's infinitely complex and varied. Love takes so many forms; the love we feel for parents, our siblings, and our friends that are basically kind of familial and platonic; then we have romantic love, but again there are so many variations. Everyone has an opinion on love, but is this universal and often capricious emotion even capable of definition?
One dictionary says that amourous love is a deep, tender, indefinable feeling of affection and concern toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. That's a good definition, as far as it goes, but love is so much more than that. It can be fleeting or enduring, tumultuous or companionable, joyous or anguished, and it changes from moment to moment, week to week, year to year.
People have been trying to understand and explain love for millennia.
For myself, one of the best observations about it came from the ancient Greeks. Plato spoke of love in terms of completeness. In his dialog the Symposium he suggested that we all search for our other half in hopes of becoming whole. He called this human desire for completeness the search for love. In the same dialogue, Plato's mentor Socrates said, "In our lover we seek and desire that which we do not have."
Every religion has its own opinions on love, as love is usually central to our spiritual beliefs. A Christian wedding we would usually hear what St. Paul said to the Corinthians. "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoyce at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things and endures all things. Love never ends."
Judaism affirms that a husband and wife complete each other. According to the Talmud, it teaches that man is not complete without a wife; a woman is not complete without a husband. The Koran also espouses the notion of love creating wholeness, saying "God made man and woman to complete each other, as night completes the day and the day completes the night." Buddhism compares love and marriage to the intermingling of emptiness and bliss. The Dalai Lama of Tibetan Buddhism, says, "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive."
Social scientists take a more analytical approach to understanding love; two main types: "passionate love" and "Companionate love".
Passionate love consists of a state of intense continuous longing for union and powerful emotional reactions. Companionate Love is not as fired up; its having tender, trusting feelings for someone. You feel deeply attached and want to commit yourself to the other...and on it goes; I have gone on way too much....my apologies...%)
Well I for one one found it revy interesting Soli! Thank you!
From the list above, what I want from men of ALL ages is:
1) Imaginative, Romantic lover
2) Doesn't miss the toilet
What women want..........???
I want Love........and really being in love all the time.
The positive effects of truly being in love are:
Energy, being in love energizes you physically, mentall, and emotionally.
Enthusiasm, being in love creates positive, enthusiastic attitude towards life.
Excitement and optimism, when you're in love you're happy and filled with excitement.
Esteem and self-confidence, being loved supports you in feeling high self-esteem.
Emotional generousity, when you're in love it's easy to become very loving and giving.
Ease in being yourself, someone who loves you let's you be yourself in all circumstances.
Emotional relaxation, being loved relaxes you and feels you with peace.
...All other things kind of dissapear, when you're being in love...are in love all the time.
Solitaire, Thank you so much for sharing with us the insight of definitions. Great information!
I want Love........and really being in love all the time.
The positive effects of truly being in love are:
Energy, being in love energizes you physically, mentall, and emotionally.
Enthusiasm, being in love creates positive, enthusiastic attitude towards life.
Excitement and optimism, when you're in love you're happy and filled with excitement.
Esteem and self-confidence, being loved supports you in feeling high self-esteem.
Emotional generousity, when you're in love it's easy to become very loving and giving.
Ease in being yourself, someone who loves you let's you be yourself in all circumstances.
Emotional relaxation, being loved relaxes you and feels you with peace.
...All other things kind of dissapear, when you're being in love...are in love all the time.
Solitaire, Thank you so much for sharing with us the insight of definitions. Great information!With the rest of the evening to think over some of these imponderables concerning love I'd expand a bit more on the same theme as it is as merely an observer and no longer a participant;
Through all of my observations on this is that love isn't about time, it's about emotional progression, with each stage unfolding in precisely the right order. If you understand the architecture of falling in love, the stages involved, and how to build and choreograph them properly, it's absolutely possible for two people to fall in love within 90 minutes or less. 90 minutes is as long as you'll both need to look deeply into another person and get a strong feeling of what makes them tick--and to allow them to look deeply into you and do the same. If you ask people about their experience of falling in love, over 90% will say that a major factor was discovering that the other person liked them...If you both like and admire what you see, you can harness your mutual enthusiasm to propel the emotional progression rapidly toward unity and if you've really found...really found the right person, there is no reason why it shouldn't last for...ever, right....
People always say that there is someone for everyone and that they often do find each other when they least expect it; personally I don't buy into that sickly sweet idea; I gave up a long time ago.
But along those highways and back roads of life I have picked up on a few things:
Falling in love and staying in love are completely separate events. Falling in love is an addictive, intoxicating, exciting, and head-spinning chemical affair. Your body is flooded with feel great neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin and baby, you're on top of the world! But staying in love is a whole different story. After the happy feel great neurotransmitters shut down, as they inevitably will, you need something more than chemical memories to keep you together.
We don't fall in love with other people; we fall in love with the feelings we get when we are with them: the spiritual and emotional awakening, the lowering of inhibitions, the joy of feeling safe and warm and full of hope, the feeling of completeness----the thrill!
It just sounds much better and more romantic to say,"Honey, I think I'm falling in love with you" than to admit, "When I'm with you or think about you, I get these overwhelming feeling of excitement, expansion, and longing!"
Certain people balance us and make us feel complete socially and psychologically, while others make us feel insecure and tired, zapping our self-confidence, or turn us into someone we are not. People in vibrant, long-term relationships are very aware that they compliment rather than antagonize one another. They are a social and psychological team. If you end up competing or criticizing and trying to change each other after the chemistry wears off, your future together is limited; severely limited.
When you meet the person who balances and completes you, the one you trust and feel comfortable with, you will have found your "Matched Opposite"...and all is "Bright and Beautiful"...heavy sigh...%)
Through all of my observations on this is that love isn't about time, it's about emotional progression, with each stage unfolding in precisely the right order. If you understand the architecture of falling in love, the stages involved, and how to build and choreograph them properly, it's absolutely possible for two people to fall in love within 90 minutes or less. 90 minutes is as long as you'll both need to look deeply into another person and get a strong feeling of what makes them tick--and to allow them to look deeply into you and do the same. If you ask people about their experience of falling in love, over 90% will say that a major factor was discovering that the other person liked them...If you both like and admire what you see, you can harness your mutual enthusiasm to propel the emotional progression rapidly toward unity and if you've really found...really found the right person, there is no reason why it shouldn't last for...ever, right....
People always say that there is someone for everyone and that they often do find each other when they least expect it; personally I don't buy into that sickly sweet idea; I gave up a long time ago.
But along those highways and back roads of life I have picked up on a few things:
Falling in love and staying in love are completely separate events. Falling in love is an addictive, intoxicating, exciting, and head-spinning chemical affair. Your body is flooded with feel great neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin and baby, you're on top of the world! But staying in love is a whole different story. After the happy feel great neurotransmitters shut down, as they inevitably will, you need something more than chemical memories to keep you together.
We don't fall in love with other people; we fall in love with the feelings we get when we are with them: the spiritual and emotional awakening, the lowering of inhibitions, the joy of feeling safe and warm and full of hope, the feeling of completeness----the thrill!
It just sounds much better and more romantic to say,"Honey, I think I'm falling in love with you" than to admit, "When I'm with you or think about you, I get these overwhelming feeling of excitement, expansion, and longing!"
Certain people balance us and make us feel complete socially and psychologically, while others make us feel insecure and tired, zapping our self-confidence, or turn us into someone we are not. People in vibrant, long-term relationships are very aware that they compliment rather than antagonize one another. They are a social and psychological team. If you end up competing or criticizing and trying to change each other after the chemistry wears off, your future together is limited; severely limited.
When you meet the person who balances and completes you, the one you trust and feel comfortable with, you will have found your "Matched Opposite"...and all is "Bright and Beautiful"...heavy sigh...%)
Hi Solitaire
What a superb definition of this important issue "LOVE"
Much obliged....
Solitaire What a superb definition of this important issue "LOVE"
Much obliged....
WHOA,there to "at the age of 62"
Too much generalization.
Too much generalization.
fantastic , you make me smile laugh for over 10 minutes .( does it say something about my age) 
laugh for over 10 minutes .( does it say something about my age) Thank you Marti...%)
I'd like to take this a bit further, if I may:
Our so called "culture" seems to spend half its time leaving messages, talking on the cell phones, staring at screens of one sort or another, or sitting behind the wheel of a car(steering wheel, that is!) Our great grandparents didn't live this way; they all had face-to-face meetings and conversations, told stories, even eavesdropped, gossiped wrote letters, and even went walking just for fun(!), not for exercise. Our society today is forgetting the old art of socializing. We've come to believe that we live to work rather than work to live, and we no longer set aside time to either meet new people or just socialize with friends in the flesh.
This is a horrible situation because the human race has evolved in large part from our drive to seek out the company of others and share our experiences and adventures. It's how we make sense out of our world and add those spices to our lives---raving about a new movie or restaurant, telling tales of our youth or of the day before, discussing politics, the arts, or what is currently happening with the local politicians being indicted for (fill-in-the-blank). Over the years socializing has drastically changed, in large part thanks to advances in science and technology.
Once upon a time we congregated face-to-face in clubs, discos, churches, at festivals etc. and by inviting friends over, into our homes. More and more though, this face-to-face contact has been supplanted by leaving, retrieving, and responding to messages...
The only way for those who really want it, to bring vitality back into our lives is by actually going out with other people.
True, there are really no short-cuts to locating your "soul mate", as you still must be "out there and available"...right, but like any selection process, love is a numbers game: the more people you meet, the more of a chance you have of finding someone who's right for you in the long term.
Of course, you have the right to remain silent, have an attorney present for signing of any non-disclosure contract with a date or do nothing, but that won't get you very far. One must take action; not simply going and sitting in a disco with drink after drink all evening, hoping that by closing time you'll have fallen into the wrong hands...%) One has to make a concerted effort to mingle with people whose interests, values (income related..?), and beliefs match yours. If getting out hasn't brought you the results you've wanted, perhaps it time to create a socializing action plan that will bring you more activity, variety and new people into your life.
There seem to be two simple rules to follow for meeting people: Entertain once a week without fail, and accept all (reasonable) invitations. Start with all the people you know, are merely acquainted with, but aren't familiar with...arrange a dinner or an outing once a week, and encourage your guests to bring new people; accept all reasonable invitations..."There's a few of us going over to the new restaurant on...street on Wednesday. Want to come along" And feel free to bring a friend; I want to meet new people." There's the key phrase: I want to meet new people.
If you don't naturally meet a lot of new people, and you feel you've tapped your friends enough, find other ways to get involved. The more activities you participate in and the more places you visit, the sooner you'll be able to perhaps meet the person who's out there searching for you...
And then, there is internet dating...it is simply a tool; think of the internet as one slice of a larger pie, not as a substitute for socializing, but as one of many ways you can expand your circle of acquaintances, get together with them in a social setting, and eventually find your matched opposite.
I have no idea why I wrote this...perhaps feeling a bit sociological or is it pathological...not much difference is there....%D
Back into the wine cellar...
I'd like to take this a bit further, if I may:
Our so called "culture" seems to spend half its time leaving messages, talking on the cell phones, staring at screens of one sort or another, or sitting behind the wheel of a car(steering wheel, that is!) Our great grandparents didn't live this way; they all had face-to-face meetings and conversations, told stories, even eavesdropped, gossiped wrote letters, and even went walking just for fun(!), not for exercise. Our society today is forgetting the old art of socializing. We've come to believe that we live to work rather than work to live, and we no longer set aside time to either meet new people or just socialize with friends in the flesh.
This is a horrible situation because the human race has evolved in large part from our drive to seek out the company of others and share our experiences and adventures. It's how we make sense out of our world and add those spices to our lives---raving about a new movie or restaurant, telling tales of our youth or of the day before, discussing politics, the arts, or what is currently happening with the local politicians being indicted for (fill-in-the-blank). Over the years socializing has drastically changed, in large part thanks to advances in science and technology.
Once upon a time we congregated face-to-face in clubs, discos, churches, at festivals etc. and by inviting friends over, into our homes. More and more though, this face-to-face contact has been supplanted by leaving, retrieving, and responding to messages...
The only way for those who really want it, to bring vitality back into our lives is by actually going out with other people.
True, there are really no short-cuts to locating your "soul mate", as you still must be "out there and available"...right, but like any selection process, love is a numbers game: the more people you meet, the more of a chance you have of finding someone who's right for you in the long term.
Of course, you have the right to remain silent, have an attorney present for signing of any non-disclosure contract with a date or do nothing, but that won't get you very far. One must take action; not simply going and sitting in a disco with drink after drink all evening, hoping that by closing time you'll have fallen into the wrong hands...%) One has to make a concerted effort to mingle with people whose interests, values (income related..?), and beliefs match yours. If getting out hasn't brought you the results you've wanted, perhaps it time to create a socializing action plan that will bring you more activity, variety and new people into your life.
There seem to be two simple rules to follow for meeting people: Entertain once a week without fail, and accept all (reasonable) invitations. Start with all the people you know, are merely acquainted with, but aren't familiar with...arrange a dinner or an outing once a week, and encourage your guests to bring new people; accept all reasonable invitations..."There's a few of us going over to the new restaurant on...street on Wednesday. Want to come along" And feel free to bring a friend; I want to meet new people." There's the key phrase: I want to meet new people.
If you don't naturally meet a lot of new people, and you feel you've tapped your friends enough, find other ways to get involved. The more activities you participate in and the more places you visit, the sooner you'll be able to perhaps meet the person who's out there searching for you...
And then, there is internet dating...it is simply a tool; think of the internet as one slice of a larger pie, not as a substitute for socializing, but as one of many ways you can expand your circle of acquaintances, get together with them in a social setting, and eventually find your matched opposite.
I have no idea why I wrote this...perhaps feeling a bit sociological or is it pathological...not much difference is there....%D
Back into the wine cellar...
Very funny keep it up 
right...when I'm next in a condition unfit to be misunderstood, I'll tackle my impressions of the net, single sites and the odds of people actually connecting...or is it scoring...I forget...%)
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