Communication - Men are from Mars, women from Venus ( Archived) (15)

Hope everyone weighs in on this one...

Many women on this site speak to the fact that they want to communicate, communicate, communicate. That having been said, why then do the men who take the time to write get responses from these same women that the notes are too long? I have heard this from several of my friends. Some women complain that the introductory letters are too long.
Would you jump in on this? Why the dichotomy? Say one thing and really mean something else? Or is this not really knowing what one wants? Or is it a case that all that is written by these ladies is for show and not based in reality? Or is it that they say one thing and when someone takes the time to write them a nice note, they send some viltriolic response back accusing the person of cutting and pasting? What is the real story? I cannot believe that intelligent women would want some dude to write them, "Hey babes, you are hot!" and interpret that as a compliment instead of being an insult.

What do you think?

there are many forms of communication and typing on the internet I guess qualifies

Communication is difficult enough in the other formats. in handwrtten you can even sense urgency rage by the handwriting itself. phone you have the inflection of ones voice and you cab sense if they are truly attentive to your words.

It would be so great if our typed words had a rainbow effect all the colors of the rainbow and it would be so much easier to interpret what someone is and how they are saying it by the color reflected in the words.

Red means hot, then the shades of red, blue could mean calm and then the shades of blue...Face it, its hard to place the huge expanse of emotions into type words and be sure that its understood correctly...yeah you english scholars" Screw punctuation " ...

How does one distinguish genuine sincerity, when you have twenty people typing the exact same thing??? Yeah communication is not a open and closed issue... word after typed word after typed word means Kothing if no one wants to read it.

Communication has a key element to work it takes a minimum of 2 willing participants to ever have a chance of succeeding.

keep your style and in time you be be appreciated for it.

I agree 2 sentences does not a letter or conversation make.

I think a short but witty note can work as well as writing ones life story in an email.

My knee jerk reaction to an extremely long introductory email is usually a bit negative. Many scammers write long emails.



The "hey babe, you are hot" emails go straight to the trash

Well it's kind of like this......

The mails come in a couple of forms........

One is a copy and paste scammers letter......

One is a Hey babe I think your hot......

One is I want to marry you I'm looking for a wife....

One is here is my hotmail, yahoo and skype id mail me.....

One is here is my phone number call me......

Now I ask you how could any woman take a man's mail seriously at all....

A person does not have to babble incessantly in order to communicate. For communication to work, it must be two-way. It is a dialogue. Otherwise is a monologue and at one point the one doing it will run out of synonims to keep changing the snetences, but meaning the same.

Incessant babbling is tiresome. Concise and to the point does the trick. Like when you are talking to a stubborn teenager. They only hear the first 5 words and the it is blah-blah-blah-blah... that's all they hear.

And unfortunately, many of us have been victims or almost victims of scammers, and one of the tattle-tale signs, is that they tell you their life story...from the go. It raises red flags for many

So, keep it short and nice. And take it from there.

...i have had mails with varying degrees of interest, articulation and verbosity, yes. I have been fortunate to have received a few that are just beautifully written, descriptive and expressive, not just romantically tho... lengthy is not a problem at all when such a delight to read and respond to and, yes, clearly written by a great communicator.

... no, i dont think "hey, babes, you are hot" impresses me much and, yes, believe it or not, i do get those ones too!

First of all, if you take the time to actually read the profile of the person you are writing, you shouldn't just send them a copy/paste response, that's rude. A woman expects a man to take the time to compose an email the least he can do it to note something directly from her profile and spark an interest between the two of you....something to be said for originality right??? I don't know if something is too long or two short, nobody wants to read your life story on the first or even second email, we like to keep things light and impersonal until a rapport can be established. Not all women say one thing and mean another, I myself am very blunt, I will say what's on my mind and am not afraid and nobody can accuse me of being insincere! I don't want any man to become to over familiar or confident that he would overstep the boundaries of personal respect with me, a compliment is a compliment, but if not coming from someone I'm interested in or comfortable with...simply wasting your time and mine, why do that???

heres a little story for ya..I wrote to a woman on c.s and her profile said that she believes everyone has a story to tell so whats yours? so I wrote and she replied,so after like 3 or 4 emails she said I was a crybaby ......???????????......but you said you wanted to hear my story so I'am telling it to you ..I don't know I just kinda find this funny.needless to say I stopped writing ...

D, you speak the truth and don't I know it?