IN WHAT WAYS HAVE YOU CHANGED AS A PERSON IN THE LAST FIVE YEARS ? (14)

AND HAS ANYBODY NOTICED ?

In the last five years I've got to love gillyloves69.....but nobody noticed!

(said 'tongue in cheek')

Hmmmm............ I guess I used to be a bit of a prude, but these days I'm so desperate for love and attention I'll do almost anything a lady demands of me!

how interesting smoky !... i like it when people have got things to say about ' THEMSELVES '



what happened 18 years ago then ?

i just hate it when i see an interesting topic as i just love to write. i have changed so much in the last five years, my friends some love it some don't know how to take it and i have lots of new ones that think i have always been this wonderful. i started reading and education helped i started reading like the course in miracles, marianne williamson, wayne dyer and a lot of self help books and i feel better.

i am happy. i do what makes me happy. one of the biggest things that helped the change was the gratitude list. i write down what i am greatful for and, tend to place my focus there and what you focus on multiplies. and i have so much to be greatful for. great friends, wonderful boyfriends, beautiful house, the best car, great kids, wonderful job, my health, seeing children smile, beautiful flowers, and i go on even more. you get the idea. and there are lots more things and i think of god as my buddy and i give him thanks and i pray a lot and he answers my prayers.

i got divorced in 2002 lost weight, went to iraq and then afghanistan, made money, fell in love in paris and moved to europe. i can't believe i am living in europe. one of my friends says nancy, i can't believe you did it. you didn't stay here in this town and do the same things everyone else does, you got out of here and you have seen the world. and i have seen lots. and it changes you as a person also. art and good music and love. i believe we are here on earth to learn lessons, for me lessons in love and our real life is in heaven . and i like myself now. i make it a point to. the boyfriend is not talking to me so i am writing. so sorry you have to put up with me. thank you for listening if you did!

I think gilly posted a very good question.

It's hard to see how others perceive us, but obviously we must seem different if our own self-perceptions change over time.

How have I changed over the past five years?

I think I've changed in that I now see some happiness in the present and I definitely feel optimistic about the future; I guess that's way different to five years ago when I felt hopeless about the present and pessimistic about having any future.

Five years ago life was 99% concentrated on how to survive the day and maybe the week ahead. There was no joy. There was no love. There was the weight of guilt and despair of debt that imprisoned me both in my location and emotionally.

My glass was more than half full but I could not see anything in the glass - even though it contained pure life-giving water.

Guilt is a heavy burden for some of us to bear; it makes some people believe that they should be punished - and they inflict that punishment on themselves. Some people are incapable of forgiving themselves for the mistakes they have made.

Five years on - I forgive myself, but the journey of becoming what I consider a decent human being has only just begun.

It would be nice in another five years to have become a genuinely decent person who doesn't feel the need to impress and get attention by doing silly things.

A leopard may not be able to change its spots, but it can try and make some spots fade a little with time and not allow those darn spots to negatively affect the leopards life and the lives of other leopards it comes across in life's journey.

I hope other CS members have not felt the same need to change their lives so much. I hope that you were 'ok' five years ago and are merely 'more ok' now!

Holy mackerel....you have some stories hey!!....