Narcissism (47)
I have to say Portiea I love your thought provoking threads even when I'm only on my first cup of coffee.
There seems to be an invisible boundary line that people may or may not cross over. Although it seems that more tend to cross it these days.
Self love is almost a must, but not to the point where it becomes overwhelming and turns into self-centeredness. Most of our society today is either part of the "no self esteem" crowd and looks to others in order to determine their own self worth...Then there is the opposite extreme where they are self-centered and egotistical (Men & Women) to the point that they have no use for anyone or anything except themselves or their own kind, but their noses are too far up in the air to really know or understand what's around them they'd rather scoff at the thought of looking at such things. Then there are those that are between the two that have a good self esteem, are happy with themselves and what they are doing and where they are going in life and just enjoy having others around them of like kind in order to appreciate each other. It's not about bringing a person up to their level or looking down on someone, it's about being balanced.
There are those of us that choose to be on our own for whatever reason that may be, whether to put our life back on track or just to reflect upon where we've been, where we are and where we are going or want to go. Then there are those that are alone and single because they don't feel that they are able to contribute anything to a relationship, so they don't get into one. Then there are those that are so focused on achieving their goals and dreams that they don't realize what they've missed until they have achieved those dreams and goals and then they finally sit back to enjoy the fruits of their labors and realize there's no one to share them with.
So many people have expectations whether it's of themselves or others. Most people do things for selfish reasons...They give because they want to get something in return or more in return for what they've given. There's nothing wrong with compromise or adjustment as long as it doesn't interfere with values morals or principles. Many people are just out for themselves and it's all about money these days. Too many people have forgotten the value of friendships, the worth of having principles and the appreciation for morals.
It's not a "we" society anymore...It's a "me" society and it's really sad to see. Everything is a competition and showing off what they have rather than appreciating each other for who we are as a person and just being ourselves.
There seems to be an invisible boundary line that people may or may not cross over. Although it seems that more tend to cross it these days.
Self love is almost a must, but not to the point where it becomes overwhelming and turns into self-centeredness. Most of our society today is either part of the "no self esteem" crowd and looks to others in order to determine their own self worth...Then there is the opposite extreme where they are self-centered and egotistical (Men & Women) to the point that they have no use for anyone or anything except themselves or their own kind, but their noses are too far up in the air to really know or understand what's around them they'd rather scoff at the thought of looking at such things. Then there are those that are between the two that have a good self esteem, are happy with themselves and what they are doing and where they are going in life and just enjoy having others around them of like kind in order to appreciate each other. It's not about bringing a person up to their level or looking down on someone, it's about being balanced.
There are those of us that choose to be on our own for whatever reason that may be, whether to put our life back on track or just to reflect upon where we've been, where we are and where we are going or want to go. Then there are those that are alone and single because they don't feel that they are able to contribute anything to a relationship, so they don't get into one. Then there are those that are so focused on achieving their goals and dreams that they don't realize what they've missed until they have achieved those dreams and goals and then they finally sit back to enjoy the fruits of their labors and realize there's no one to share them with.
So many people have expectations whether it's of themselves or others. Most people do things for selfish reasons...They give because they want to get something in return or more in return for what they've given. There's nothing wrong with compromise or adjustment as long as it doesn't interfere with values morals or principles. Many people are just out for themselves and it's all about money these days. Too many people have forgotten the value of friendships, the worth of having principles and the appreciation for morals.
It's not a "we" society anymore...It's a "me" society and it's really sad to see. Everything is a competition and showing off what they have rather than appreciating each other for who we are as a person and just being ourselves.
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Portiea: Does contemporary society encourage narcissism—self love to the point of self-centeredness--?
It seems like, if we compare ourselves to earlier societies, people did not expect so much personal ‘fulfilment’ and easy gratification of all our desires and expectations.
I’ve only been looking at single sites for a few months, but I’m feeling like, wow, there are so many lonely, single people out there. Why are so many of us on our own? Is it because of high expectations and low output? That is, we expect so much from others but are not willing to give that much in compromising, cooperation, adjustment, and so on?
Is this a trend of contemporary society and will it continue so that in a few decades, partnering, marriage, and families will become almost obsolete? I think statistically there are far more single people than there used to be….it’s kinda scary.
It seems like, if we compare ourselves to earlier societies, people did not expect so much personal ‘fulfilment’ and easy gratification of all our desires and expectations.
I’ve only been looking at single sites for a few months, but I’m feeling like, wow, there are so many lonely, single people out there. Why are so many of us on our own? Is it because of high expectations and low output? That is, we expect so much from others but are not willing to give that much in compromising, cooperation, adjustment, and so on?
Is this a trend of contemporary society and will it continue so that in a few decades, partnering, marriage, and families will become almost obsolete? I think statistically there are far more single people than there used to be….it’s kinda scary.
I know narcissism has been around forever but I DO think in today's world it IS encouraged more and more as the "norm".
It seems the message is that if you don't have the perfect body, nice clothes and don't look like a model and you are not rich then you are not as valued as member of society. Character doesn't seem to be as important as it once was and appearances mean everything...
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Serenity1971: I have to say Portiea I love your thought provoking threads even when I'm only on my first cup of coffee.
In response to: Most of our society today is either part of the "no self esteem" crowd and looks to others in order to determine their own self worth...Then there is the opposite extreme where they are self-centered and egotistical ....Then there are those that are between the two that have a good self esteem, are happy with themselves and what they are doing and where they are going in life and just enjoy having others around them of like kind in order to appreciate each other. It's not about bringing a person up to their level or looking down on someone, it's about being balanced.
In response to: It's not a "we" society anymore...It's a "me" society and it's really sad to see. Everything is a competition and showing off what they have rather than appreciating each other for who we are as a person and just being ourselves.
Thanks.
Good post--agree entirely.
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Lionhearted1967: I know narcissism has been around forever but I DO think in today's world it IS encouraged more and more as the "norm".
It seems the message is that if you don't have the perfect body, nice clothes and don't look like a model and you are not rich then you are not as valued as member of society. Character doesn't seem to be as important as it once was and appearances mean everything...
It seems the message is that if you don't have the perfect body, nice clothes and don't look like a model and you are not rich then you are not as valued as member of society. Character doesn't seem to be as important as it once was and appearances mean everything...
Absolutely
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Dagda: great post.Add campaigns along the lines of "because your worth it" help to promote all the self abbsorbtion
Think you are probably right about that
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Serenity1971: I have to say Portea I love your thought provoking threads even when I'm only on my first cup of coffee.
There seems to be an invisible boundary line that people may or may not cross over. Although it seems that more tend to cross it these days.
Self love is almost a must, but not to the point where it becomes overwhelming and turns into self-centeredness. Most of our society today is either part of the "no self esteem" crowd and looks to others in order to determine their own self worth...Then there is the opposite extreme where they are self-centered and egotistical (Men & Women) to the point that they have no use for anyone or anything except themselves or their own kind, but their noses are too far up in the air to really know or understand what's around them they'd rather scoff at the thought of looking at such things. Then there are those that are between the two that have a good self esteem, are happy with themselves and what they are doing and where they are going in life and just enjoy having others around them of like kind in order to appreciate each other. It's not about bringing a person up to their level or looking down on someone, it's about being balanced.
There are those of us that choose to be on our own for whatever reason that may be, whether to put our life back on track or just to reflect upon where we've been, where we are and where we are going or want to go. Then there are those that are alone and single because they don't feel that they are able to contribute anything to a relationship, so they don't get into one. Then there are those that are so focused on achieving their goals and dreams that they don't realize what they've missed until they have achieved those dreams and goals and then they finally sit back to enjoy the fruits of their labors and realize there's no one to share them with.
So many people have expectations whether it's of themselves or others. Most people do things for selfish reasons...They give because they want to get something in return or more in return for what they've given. There's nothing wrong with compromise or adjustment as long as it doesn't interfere with values morals or principles. Many people are just out for themselves and it's all about money these days. Too many people have forgotten the value of friendships, the worth of having principles and the appreciation for morals.
It's not a "we" society anymore...It's a "me" society and it's really sad to see. Everything is a competition and showing off what they have rather than appreciating each other for who we are as a person and just being ourselves.
There seems to be an invisible boundary line that people may or may not cross over. Although it seems that more tend to cross it these days.
Self love is almost a must, but not to the point where it becomes overwhelming and turns into self-centeredness. Most of our society today is either part of the "no self esteem" crowd and looks to others in order to determine their own self worth...Then there is the opposite extreme where they are self-centered and egotistical (Men & Women) to the point that they have no use for anyone or anything except themselves or their own kind, but their noses are too far up in the air to really know or understand what's around them they'd rather scoff at the thought of looking at such things. Then there are those that are between the two that have a good self esteem, are happy with themselves and what they are doing and where they are going in life and just enjoy having others around them of like kind in order to appreciate each other. It's not about bringing a person up to their level or looking down on someone, it's about being balanced.
There are those of us that choose to be on our own for whatever reason that may be, whether to put our life back on track or just to reflect upon where we've been, where we are and where we are going or want to go. Then there are those that are alone and single because they don't feel that they are able to contribute anything to a relationship, so they don't get into one. Then there are those that are so focused on achieving their goals and dreams that they don't realize what they've missed until they have achieved those dreams and goals and then they finally sit back to enjoy the fruits of their labors and realize there's no one to share them with.
So many people have expectations whether it's of themselves or others. Most people do things for selfish reasons...They give because they want to get something in return or more in return for what they've given. There's nothing wrong with compromise or adjustment as long as it doesn't interfere with values morals or principles. Many people are just out for themselves and it's all about money these days. Too many people have forgotten the value of friendships, the worth of having principles and the appreciation for morals.
It's not a "we" society anymore...It's a "me" society and it's really sad to see. Everything is a competition and showing off what they have rather than appreciating each other for who we are as a person and just being ourselves.
Great observations Serenity:thumbs up: The part I highlighted, I have seen and experienced too much of. It's a matter of maturity, spirituality and expectations. If you love a friend, a partner and a family member or anyone for that matter, it's been in my experience that giving and not expecting anything back has really helped me from not taking things personal. It has strengthened my perception of love for myself and others. Love is not expecting in a selfish way, just understanding. Sharing your happiness or anything materially, should be done from your heart because you just want to do it and not expect a favor in return...
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Portiea: Think you are probably right about that
But we are worth it
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StressFree: The divorce rate here in Sweden is over 60 percent. The numbers of depressed people on medication is at an all time high.
I didn't know this!
In response to: There are many factors...even at an unconscious level....if you examine our quick fix/fast food/selfish mentality that our society has promoted in this digital and service minded society. Too many people chasing false desires...too many people not fighting for what is real. Too many people give up to soon on being happy, so they find false things to make them happy.
Good points
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It is not my experience thankfully that MOST people do things for selfish reasons....SELFISH people do things for selfish reasons...I wonder if that is a reflection on Glasgow people...or have I just been lucky in my choice of friends etc 
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Crystal29: It is not my experience thankfully that MOST people do things for selfish reasons....SELFISH people do things for selfish reasons...I wonder if that is a reflection on Glasgow people...or have I just been lucky in my choice of friends etc
maybe you choose your friends carefully, there are selfish people everywhere, If I am classed as selfish because I like to look after myself. then I am selfish, but if a friend needs me I am the first there no matter what is going on in my life!!! I class my self as a true friend to my friends
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DizzyDi: maybe you choose your friends carefully, there are selfish people everywhere, If I am classed as selfish because I like to look after myself. then I am selfish, but if a friend needs me I am the first there no matter what is going on in my life!!! I class my self as a true friend to my friends
I am not aware of handpicking friends I just seem to have nice ones thankfully who shone for me throughout my breakup....also I like to take care of myself and look good like the next lady...thats a totally different thing to being self obsessed and self centred....God forbid! No I have my feet firmly planted on the ground and have my priorites in order...in fact I think I will just pat myself on the back....oh now I sound like I love myself
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StressFree: Great observations Serenity:thumbs up: The part I highlighted, I have seen and experienced too much of. It's a matter of maturity, spirituality and expectations. If you love a friend, a partner and a family member or anyone for that matter, it's been in my experience that giving and not expecting anything back has really helped me from not taking things personal. It has strengthened my perception of love for myself and others. Love is not expecting in a selfish way, just understanding. Sharing your happiness or anything materially, should be done from your heart because you just want to do it and not expect a favor in return...
That's pretty much it in a nutshell. No expectations on anyone. I think it goes something like this...Don't run to fast that you forget to stop along the way. Walk slowly and take in the beauty along the unknown path, not knowing where it will lead next. To often stop along the path to enjoy nature and the life that surrounds you, the sunrises and sunsets, the beauty of the trees, and the people that you surround yourself with as well as those that surround you. That is what happens at least in my experience. We are peaceful within ourselves which only radiates amongst the ones we surround ourselves with or come into contact with.
"I’ve been making a new path, and the journey is a beautiful one.
I’ve met friends and obstacles along the way, but I’m here.
I’m not running for once, I’m just walking along at a slow pace so I can enjoy it.
I have met another crossroads, but it’s unlike the ones I have encountered before.
This time there’s purpose, yet I’m not quite sure what I’m reaching for.
Neither path has been traveled, nor am I afraid of either.
Whichever one I choose will be of my own accord with the guidance of the powers that be.
Doors have closed and others have opened.
I chose not to see them, or was it that they weren’t there until now?
The doors await for me to pass through them, but I choose to pause.
I will not take an uncertain step, I’ve chosen that way too many times before.
The peace I feel right now is something I’ve never known.
It’s different from the times before, it seems more stable and secure.
I’m not sure I understand where I am or where I’m going.
I do know it’ll be better than the other times gone before."
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Crystal29: ... in fact I think I will just pat myself on the back....oh now I sound like I love myself
Self love and narcissism are two different things--narcissism is excessive self-love, i.e., being self-centered...as I'm sure you know--so it should be ok: go ahead and pat yourself on the back.
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Portiea: Self love and narcissism are two different things--narcissism is excessive self-love, i.e., being self-centered...as I'm sure you know--so it should be ok: go ahead and pat yourself on the back.
Yeah I do know...it was just a very poor attempt at a joke
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redbellypirhana: I don't even know how to spell narcissism...
I know what I want, and that is it, like breakfast, if I can't get what I want, it just isn't very good.
Am I still on topic???...
I know what I want, and that is it, like breakfast, if I can't get what I want, it just isn't very good.
Am I still on topic???...
Don't know...you seem a little narcissistic.
Seriously, it's mainly about people being so self centered and demanding, they can't see the forest for the trees--getting what you want for breakfast is one thing---finding a compatible mate is sort of the issue here.
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Crystal29: I am not aware of handpicking friends I just seem to have nice ones thankfully who shone for me throughout my breakup....also I like to take care of myself and look good like the next lady...thats a totally different thing to being self obsessed and self centred....God forbid! No I have my feet firmly planted on the ground and have my priorites in order...in fact I think I will just pat myself on the back....oh now I sound like I love myself
give your self a pat on the back you deserve it
it is nice to know some one who thinks its OK, I to have my feet planted firmly on the ground and have prioities in order.far better way of thinking.....
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DizzyDi: give your self a pat on the back you deserve it it is nice to know some one who thinks its OK, I to have my feet planted firmly on the ground and have prioities in order.
far better way of thinking.....
far better way of thinking.....
Aw cheers Di
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Portiea: Don't know...you seem a little narcissistic.
Seriously, it's mainly about people being so self centered and demanding, they can't see the forest for the trees--getting what you want for breakfast is one thing---finding a compatible mate is sort of the issue here.
Seriously, it's mainly about people being so self centered and demanding, they can't see the forest for the trees--getting what you want for breakfast is one thing---finding a compatible mate is sort of the issue here.
I don't know what you are talking about but I just like to get my way, that is all...
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Body Language
Lets talk little bit of body language, and how it is connected to your attitude and confidence. We all know, that people communicate with each other on multiple levels. Words (what we say), is just 7% of our communication when we communicate, the majority of communication is done with body language, vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, and gestures. When I say body language, I mean: pitch of voice, tonality, speed, how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you move (hands… etc), shoulders, chest... You may ask why body language is so important. First, because it is how we sub- communicate with others.
I want you to go outside and try this.Go out and make eye contact with someone.MAINTAIN eye contact until they look away.Then smile and wave.
Tell them .Have a nice day.Try this.Practice it.
I am willing to BET all that is valuable to me,you will notice significant changes.You might even have a conversation with a complete stranger,or two.
Have a wonderful day folks.
Have a nice day
I'm practicing it