This Thread Is for People of Any Age...and we might even have fun.... ( Archived) (117)

Yes, and as OP I will insist everyone behave and be kind....

please go ahead...you are under my protection and i am formidable

Did I scare you off? Sorry, didn't mean to. I wasn't joking...we will be completely respectful...

Thanks Portiea...

I get a lot of mail from people I haven't talked to before and the first question out of their mouth (not hi, how are ya, etc.) "Is how did your husband die?"
I'm not sure how to reply to this so I tend to just ignore them. I mean I know it's human nature to be curious but it is something I feel that shouldn't be asked in the first email, or is it appropriate and am I just sensitive?
How would you reply?

I think its very inappropriate and that is something you share with someone when your ready. Question should not even be asked on a first e-mail

Well, frankly for me, and this is obviously just my perspective: I've lived in some foreign countries...Asia and the Middle East where the culture is quite different. I know I am not interested in a man from these cultures unless he is pretty thoroughly educated and Westernized, simply because of the cultural differences I am willing to adapt to. So, I don't get mail from most of these guys as I block out these countries. I get some mail like this from such men who are immigrants to Europe, and I just don't respond. I am not interested in them, so I don't respond. Maybe it is rude, but there is no point for me to encourage someone like this, and I can't sent a note to everyone like this who writes to me because it would entail too much time, and also could be seen as encouragement. That's my answer. I am sure there are other approaches.

If you are interested in getting to know these people, then you should answer and be as clear as you can. But it is a cultural and language issue and a huge hurdle to get over, I think.

I think it is asked because it is coming from someone from a very different cultural background. When I rode in taxis in Asia and the Middle East the taxi drivers asked this type of question.....they don't really get all these single women running around loose and free...they just don't really get it...

Believe it or not it is coming mainly from american men!

From American men who are not immigrants? That is strange...I have never gotten such a mail. I just don't answer any mail I am not interested in....I guess it is cold...but when I did, at first, I found that some men were encouraged even though I told them I was not interested, or some berate you for some reason...one guy told me to get off the site and I think he complained to the mods because I got a mail from them and they actually hid my profile until I changed the wording on it to say I was actively looking....When I just don't respond, I have no problems....

God...maybe nowI will!! Except I think most ofthe men who write to me have not read my profile and may not even be reading the forums..they just respond to the pciture orsomething...

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable from teh get go...I don't think you are responsible for replying...bottom line.

Point taken!

yes but I was wrong...and sheneeds another perspective...please,what do youthink???