I'm just on here for fun...as clearly stated on the profile. I really don't "look" on here. It's much like a game of "lets make a deal".....the person is willing to swap out what's behind door number 2 for what might be behind door number 1. That may have happened to you.
People like to see if something better might come along.
cold feet, sweetie...it happens....don't take it personally, and move on....from the way you describe the history of the relationship, there was connection but no deep emotional attachment...it is a big pond with full of fish
roseofsharonOPmanchester, Hampshire, England UK8,699 posts
Indyfella: No, not at all. I think you missed my point.I'm just on here for fun...as clearly stated on the profile. I really don't "look" on here. It's much like a game of "lets make a deal".....the person is willing to swap out what's behind door number 2 for what might be behind door number 1. That may have happened to you. People like to see if something better might come along. JMO. (actually, I know I'm right)
No, Indy.... I didn't miss your point at all. I was joking with ya....
And, yes, I do think you have a point, very much so.... particularly with the "seeing if something better comes along".
Why is is that when I am in touch with someone, something better ALWAYS comes along...??!!
roseofsharon: Just not into me?? How would they know if they aren't even prepared to take up the opportunity? Yeah.... it could be we don't hit it off, or we could end up being really good friends, or we could be perfect for each other.... and anything in between.
I wouldn't pass up the opportunity of at least finding out....?? There are so many things in life beyond our direct control, opportunities that DON'T come our way... why would I voluntarily deny myself the chance to at least find out??
A good piece of advice I got here recently was "if they are nice to start with, then there is something wrong with them"!.
A niece and a sister in law told me the same thing this week!!!
Could be you are doing like I used to do, and figure to yourself that you will give anyone interested enough to chat to you, a chance. I was doing that. (Not passing up any opportunity).
I wasn't being discerning at all.
I got one person after another not suitable.
Looking back now, I can't say I was attracting the wrong kind. I was actually letting anyone in, wrong kind included, and doing this conciously when I made the decision to give them a chance, without seeing if they met my specifications for what I was looking for.
In fact , I didn't even have specifications for what I was looking for!!!
I was, like you, at least not going to deny myself the chance to find out if they were suitable or not........ Sound familiar?
Indyfella: It may not be better...that's the problem. Of course, the person doesn't know that, until it's too late.Maybe just have fun on here...and let it go at that. (My expectations are 0.) And that's on the positive outlook.
Same here. My profile states not looking because of work and travel which is true, but I had also come to the decision a long time ago that this is not the best or most successful way of meeting somebody anyway.
Don't you also think that the longer you are here people become friends rather than love interests? It's like being with your family, romantic notions soon fly out of the window.
roseofsharonOPmanchester, Hampshire, England UK8,699 posts
Indyfella: It may not be better...that's the problem. Of course, the person doesn't know that, until it's too late.Maybe just have fun on here...and let it go at that. (My expectations are 0.) And that's on the positive outlook.
Indy.... I just lark about on the Forums as I had pretty much given up. And I have been here over 3 years as you MUST know??
Besides, this fella was from another site.
How do you rate my chances over a 3 year period if I had been going to winebars, etc...?? Better....??
Jan1305: Same here. My profile states not looking because of work and travel which is true, but I had also come to the decision a long time ago that this is not the best or most successful way of meeting somebody anyway.
Don't you also think that the longer you are here people become friends rather than love interests? It's like being with your family, romantic notions soon fly out of the window.
No....it's cuz the more you see about them the less you admire them.
roseofsharon: Indy.... I just lark about on the Forums as I had pretty much given up. And I have been here over 3 years as you MUST know??
Besides, this fella was from another site.
How do you rate my chances over a 3 year period if I had been going to winebars, etc...?? Better....??
Honestly, I'd say better.
I used to go to singles dances and meet women. Obviously, they didn't work out, but at least it was human contact and you got to involve yourself in conversation.
I got more thoughts....but I'd better cut my losses.
ClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK15,888 posts
Jan1305: It's only hard work on a dating site though don't you agree?
Writing to each other for months perhaps, then the telephone conversations, then maybe a meeting. It all takes so long and more often than not ends up pear shaped.
roseofsharon: Okay, so I am in contact with this guy (from another site) and we are getting on well, it would seem. We are corresponding and exchange telephone numbers. He seems quite keen and 'phones me, we chat, have a laugh and tentatively arrange to meet the following weekend for a coffee or maybe lunch.
The next day I mail him to say it was nice to speak with him and I say I will be in touch in the week to find out where we are meeting, unless he beats me to it. Later that week, I try to call but just get the voicemail, I send an e-mail.... nothing!! Of course, he didn't beat me to it and evidently had no intention. All week he has made sure he is uncontactable. What is that all about?
Needless to say, we never did meet and he made sure I couldn't get hold of him. The voicemail was automated so for all I know he could've given me a number other than his own.
So far, all I have had is Players..... I mean, we got on famously, or so I thought....
This keeps happening... why? I am clearly doing something wrong. I am just myself, no pretence, I don't play games, I am polite, well-mannered and I think I have a sense of humour, so....
There must be something I am doing, or NOT doing.... or simply something I am not aware of...?? Its becoming rather tiresome to say the least.....
Any ideas? Why always/only Players?? Why am I a magnet for these types?? No platitudes, please!!! I would rather constructive criticism........ much more helpful. If everyone else is getting dates...??
Thanks.
I don't get it, Got am idea.. call me for an hour sometime and maybe then I could tell you what the problem is?
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
No, not at all. I think you missed my point.
I'm just on here for fun...as clearly stated on the profile. I really don't "look" on here. It's much like a game of "lets make a deal".....the person is willing to swap out what's behind door number 2 for what might be behind door number 1. That may have happened to you.
People like to see if something better might come along.
JMO. (actually, I know I'm right)