"Wants kids: no, but welcome yours" (8)

The profile procedure still puzzles me a bit....but that's not what the thread's about. When I wrote my profile I came across some (pre-)selected answers on the form. One of them, on the field "Want kids?", writes "No. But welcome yours".

It is obviously addressed to people that will find a match that already has children but is divorced or in any case single. Since then I have seen it filled in many profiles and although it is of striking kindness and affection it seems untrue that so many people are so ready to welcome them...


So...How do you feel about it? Are they welcome? Are we prepared to "bear" with them, love them, "adopt" them? To what does it depend?

...Would you prefer their existence... ...or not?

In my case, having had step-daughters (part time) from when I was 20, then having brought up my own ... now that mine are grown up and I am now a grandmother ... my choice was that only grown up kids of a potential partner were welcome ... I was lucky to meet with someone who had no kids of his own although he had helped bring up the kids of his partners ...

Seems to me, when you find someone you truly can love, you let go your pettiness and try your best to make it easier / okay for that person.... make it work.... even when that person's got kids....

Family situations and responsibilities can put a strain on the best of intentions however.
Give and take and a little patience is always good.

I have never used the "no, but welcome yours" option on my profile, but I am 43 yrs old and realistically speaking, most single men in their 40's and 50's would be divorced and probably have kids.... what if one such guy happened to be the one I felt could love and adore.... I'd seriously think twice before rejecting a life with him.... I think....

Breeze, you are absolutely right. It wouldn't be right for a divorced or separated man or woman to be told his or her kid(s) from a previous relationship are not welcomed into a new one. It would surely put a strain into a yet to be built relationship.

I guess the best is to welcome them but discuss the bounds as it may apply! I wonder who doesn't like kids???

Good question, however I do think it is a good option to have.

For me it is simple, I do not want any more children, but at my age it is likley that I would meet a man who is divorced.

I would welcome a man with children whether they live with him or not, it does not trouble me.

Great question!!!! and a few more !!!!

In my view I am getting older. My kids should now have been 10-15 years old if I had them.

I could still become a father myself, but I would be 60-65 when I need to be there and help my kids enter the adult world. There is a risk I may be more of a burden to them than a support.

No so much now, but I realise than when I get into a relation, we do not get kids the first thing we do. And years passes.

Still, I would love to be a father person; I love kids and their curiosity on life.

Hence - I do not know if I want kids (new kids). But I welcome yours (secunda mano ).