What would you make of this? (6)
MysticalUnicornHamilton, Ontario Canada15 Threads 1 Polls 180 PostsOkay, so I'd like someone else's prospective. You met this guy back in May, you see eachother but not very often. When you do it's a movie or something, very casual, he never tries to kiss you or anything so you assume you're "friends", not "on a date". You like this person, but are fine if you're just friends also. Anywho, months go by.....he tells you he misses you and thought about you on his weekend away with friends, and you two mutually agree, so now you're "together". BUT, you still rarely see them as they're busy with friends, etc. okay that's fine I realize you need a life outside of eachother. But they wont put Facebook status as "in relationship" they don't want their friends to know, and today we spent the entire day together (4pm-2am) which was, well, really good, but he lied to his parents about who he was seeing. We went to his house first time we been there we always do movies or whatever, but he told his parents he was with a guy friend today instead of the truth. He tells me don't take it personally. He's 24, i'm 22...but I been married before, and have a kid...and somehow, maybe he's ashamed I really do not know.....he says I am the most pretty girl, he wonders how he got me etc. etc. tonight was the first night he actually tried to kiss me, and it was a peck. He's a really hard to get guy and it's driving me crazy.
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MysticalUnicorn: Okay, so I'd like someone else's prospective. You met this guy back in May, you see eachother but not very often. When you do it's a movie or something, very casual, he never tries to kiss you or anything so you assume you're "friends", not "on a date". You like this person, but are fine if you're just friends also. Anywho, months go by.....he tells you he misses you and thought about you on his weekend away with friends, and you two mutually agree, so now you're "together". BUT, you still rarely see them as they're busy with friends, etc. okay that's fine I realize you need a life outside of eachother. But they wont put Facebook status as "in relationship" they don't want their friends to know, and today we spent the entire day together (4pm-2am) which was, well, really good, but he lied to his parents about who he was seeing. We went to his house first time we been there we always do movies or whatever, but he told his parents he was with a guy friend today instead of the truth. He tells me don't take it personally. He's 24, i'm 22...but I been married before, and have a kid...and somehow, maybe he's ashamed I really do not know.....he says I am the most pretty girl, he wonders how he got me etc. etc. tonight was the first night he actually tried to kiss me, and it was a peck. He's a really hard to get guy and it's driving me crazy.
Oh no no no...any guy that is not proud to be with you and willing to shout it to the world darlin...is not worth it...He's either hiding something or afraid of what other people will think...and one is just as bad as the other...if he lies to all his friends..parents etc...then he is perfectly capable of lying to you...If it were me...that would be it...I don't need a man in my life who is either a liar or doesn't have the guts to care about me enough to even acknowledge that I exist...I am worthy of sooooooooo much more and so are you!!!!!!!
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MysticalUnicorn: Okay, so I'd like someone else's prospective. You met this guy back in May, you see eachother but not very often. When you do it's a movie or something, very casual, he never tries to kiss you or anything so you assume you're "friends", not "on a date". You like this person, but are fine if you're just friends also. Anywho, months go by.....he tells you he misses you and thought about you on his weekend away with friends, and you two mutually agree, so now you're "together". BUT, you still rarely see them as they're busy with friends, etc. okay that's fine I realize you need a life outside of eachother. But they wont put Facebook status as "in relationship" they don't want their friends to know, and today we spent the entire day together (4pm-2am) which was, well, really good, but he lied to his parents about who he was seeing. We went to his house first time we been there we always do movies or whatever, but he told his parents he was with a guy friend today instead of the truth. He tells me don't take it personally. He's 24, i'm 22...but I been married before, and have a kid...and somehow, maybe he's ashamed I really do not know.....he says I am the most pretty girl, he wonders how he got me etc. etc. tonight was the first night he actually tried to kiss me, and it was a peck. He's a really hard to get guy and it's driving me crazy.
How do you know he lied to his parents?
People who lie are often afraid of the truth, why would he lie to his parents? Ask him about his facebook, if you really care for him then get to the bottom of it, why he lies. Some people are not so forgiving as I am, but confront him with it, tell him you want to know, why he lies., why he has not changed his Facebook profile. If youhave agreed that you are a 'we'
If he refuses to tell you when you confront him and this can be done in a knd loving way, then that is time to say goodbye.
Regardless of who says what, alot of us have lied at some point in our lives....
Although many people will state that they have never lied...
I have yet to meet a person who has not.
Ask him, if you like him, you clearly do, ask him, deal with it and move on, either with him or without him.
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Sommerauer71: How do you know he lied to his parents?
People who lie are often afraid of the truth, why would he lie to his parents? Ask him about his facebook, if you really care for him then get to the bottom of it, why he lies. Some people are not so forgiving as I am, but confront him with it, tell him you want to know, why he lies., why he has not changed his Facebook profile. If youhave agreed that you are a 'we'
If he refuses to tell you when you confront him and this can be done in a knd loving way, then that is time to say goodbye.
Regardless of who says what, alot of us have lied at some point in our lives....
Although many people will state that they have never lied...
I have yet to meet a person who has not.
Ask him, if you like him, you clearly do, ask him, deal with it and move on, either with him or without him.
People who lie are often afraid of the truth, why would he lie to his parents? Ask him about his facebook, if you really care for him then get to the bottom of it, why he lies. Some people are not so forgiving as I am, but confront him with it, tell him you want to know, why he lies., why he has not changed his Facebook profile. If youhave agreed that you are a 'we'
If he refuses to tell you when you confront him and this can be done in a knd loving way, then that is time to say goodbye.
Regardless of who says what, alot of us have lied at some point in our lives....
Although many people will state that they have never lied...
I have yet to meet a person who has not.
Ask him, if you like him, you clearly do, ask him, deal with it and move on, either with him or without him.
Well he told me he lied to his parents before we got to his place, so he's telling *me* who he's lied to. Like I said, I don't actually "get it" he just said "They would ask questions if I said I was out with you". With his Facebook, it's the matter of his friends..he says he changed his status once and the girl dumped him 2 days later and he felt embarrassed/stupid......so he don't want his friends to know about us. In one hand, it makes sense, some would point to some obvious like maybe he already has a girlfriend..........I know he had a girlfriend who he lived with, and she cheated on him. I know it's been over a year, and it still makes him bitter to think about. I think she was like his first real love or something, and maybe he's afraid to get hurt again?
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Oh dear... the toils of being young & inexperienced.
I wouldn't want to be that age again for anything!
Ok, look... you have a couple of factors to look at besides age.
He's been really hurt, maybe for the first time. He's carrying that baggage around like it's designer.
You've already been through a failed marriage & you now have a child.
May to October is nothing... a drop in the hat. I doubt you can speed this guy's pace up & if you did, you'd only ruin the outcome.
So... you'll have to decide, do you want to sit his little but down & say...
"look I want this to work, screw the past... show me some dedication now or I'm walking"?
...or...
Do you want to let him unfold before your eyes, at his own pace. Keeping in mind, just because his pace is slower than you feel is needed, doesn't make it a bad thing. I often find the slow but steady guys are the most dedicated, loyal & responsible.
The first thing would be to iron out this little matter of the so called lies. Real men don't need to lie to mommy & daddy about their dates.
...I'm just say'n, either he has some codependent issues or he needs to stop using cheesy tactics to impress you. Find out which it is.
Now, YOU have to go decide for yourself.
Good luck.
I wouldn't want to be that age again for anything!
Ok, look... you have a couple of factors to look at besides age.
He's been really hurt, maybe for the first time. He's carrying that baggage around like it's designer.
You've already been through a failed marriage & you now have a child.
May to October is nothing... a drop in the hat. I doubt you can speed this guy's pace up & if you did, you'd only ruin the outcome.
So... you'll have to decide, do you want to sit his little but down & say...
"look I want this to work, screw the past... show me some dedication now or I'm walking"?
...or...
Do you want to let him unfold before your eyes, at his own pace. Keeping in mind, just because his pace is slower than you feel is needed, doesn't make it a bad thing. I often find the slow but steady guys are the most dedicated, loyal & responsible.
The first thing would be to iron out this little matter of the so called lies. Real men don't need to lie to mommy & daddy about their dates.
...I'm just say'n, either he has some codependent issues or he needs to stop using cheesy tactics to impress you. Find out which it is.
Now, YOU have to go decide for yourself.
Good luck.
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A 24 year old man that has to lie to his parents about who he is seeing???? Dump him.
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Created: Oct 2008
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