The Man Rules ( Archived) (11)

>
>
> The Man Rules
> At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>
>
> FINALLY, the guys' side of the story.
> ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> We always hear ' the rules'
>
> From the female side.
>
> Now here are the rules from the male side.
>
>
>
> These are our rules!
> Please note.. these are all numbered '1'
> ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> We need it up, you need it down.
> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
> down.
>
> 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
> or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want.
> Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work!
> Strong hints do not work!
> Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
> every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving
> it. That's what
> we do.
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 mont hs ago is inadmissible in an
> argument.
> In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
>
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one
> of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something
> Or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>
> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
> during
> commercials..
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither
> do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
> settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is
> also a fruit. We
> have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
> We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,'
> We will act like nothing's
> wrong.
> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
> Expect an answer you
> don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewh ere, absolutely anything you
> wear is fine...
> Really .
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
> you are prepared to discuss
> such topics as football or golf.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>
>
> But did you k now men really don't mind that? It's
> like camping.

Good ones, Epi!


Ummm....but apparently, men can't count?

computers work on the same arithmetic system 01010101010101

Nothing to say right now--give me a minute you really batting a $,000.00 -- It's ok I understand go to sleep now...We'll take care of it another time.

Good ones from the men's side

Yes but the one thing is MEN will never admit it but they love the attention from women for asking most of theses questions. It makes them feel needed.

> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> We need it up, you need it down.
> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
> down.


If it was meant to be up it would be spring loaded to fly back up when you get up