FRUIT-CAKE,FRUIT-CAKE,FRUIT-CAKE !! (7)
That's one heck of a recipe....thanks for sharing
I was about to say, "Yes Conrad, you are a fruitcake!"
Oh well, I've said it now anyway!!!!
Oh well, I've said it now anyway!!!!
jpunk: I was about to say, "Yes Conrad, you are a fruitcake!"
Oh well, I've said it now anyway!!!!
Was born one.Oh well, I've said it now anyway!!!!
Reminds me of some advice a good neighbour once gave me when I was young .....
She said, if you have no confidence in your cooking skills and have to entertain guests .... Just fry some onions (the aroma makes them think you cooking something tasty) to begin with, and serve them lots and lots of lovely alcohol, for as long as they are drinking they will forfeit eating ....... Then you just add some sausages or anything else meaty to the onions, mash up some instant sort of starchy thing like instant mash (cooking rice could be dodgy) ........ And if they insist on eating, then to make things look a bit more colourful and impress them ..... wash some lettuce leaves and put them in a bowl on the table......... They will hopefully be too drunk, and hungry, to criticise your food ..........
She said, if you have no confidence in your cooking skills and have to entertain guests .... Just fry some onions (the aroma makes them think you cooking something tasty) to begin with, and serve them lots and lots of lovely alcohol, for as long as they are drinking they will forfeit eating ....... Then you just add some sausages or anything else meaty to the onions, mash up some instant sort of starchy thing like instant mash (cooking rice could be dodgy) ........ And if they insist on eating, then to make things look a bit more colourful and impress them ..... wash some lettuce leaves and put them in a bowl on the table......... They will hopefully be too drunk, and hungry, to criticise your food ..........
smoky: Reminds me of some advice a good neighbour once gave me when I was young .....
She said, if you have no confidence in your cooking skills and have to entertain guests .... Just fry some onions (the aroma makes them think you cooking something tasty) to begin with, and serve them lots and lots of lovely alcohol, for as long as they are drinking they will forfeit eating ....... Then you just add some sausages or anything else meaty to the onions, mash up some instant sort of starchy thing like instant mash (cooking rice could be dodgy) ........ And if they insist on eating, then to make things look a bit more colourful and impress them ..... wash some lettuce leaves and put them in a bowl on the table......... They will hopefully be too drunk, and hungry, to criticise your food ..........
She said, if you have no confidence in your cooking skills and have to entertain guests .... Just fry some onions (the aroma makes them think you cooking something tasty) to begin with, and serve them lots and lots of lovely alcohol, for as long as they are drinking they will forfeit eating ....... Then you just add some sausages or anything else meaty to the onions, mash up some instant sort of starchy thing like instant mash (cooking rice could be dodgy) ........ And if they insist on eating, then to make things look a bit more colourful and impress them ..... wash some lettuce leaves and put them in a bowl on the table......... They will hopefully be too drunk, and hungry, to criticise your food ..........
Speaking of mum.....
in a bar and heard two guys talking.......
Bloke 1. "All women are snakes, well, all except your mum of course."
Bloke 2. " Yeah ? Ask your dad
in a bar and heard two guys talking.......
Bloke 1. "All women are snakes, well, all except your mum of course."
Bloke 2. " Yeah ? Ask your dad
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Since this was archived, I felt it was my civic duty to simply re-post it in its entirety. No need to thank me for this selfless contribution - Knowing that it will help get fellow CS'ers through the holiday season is thanks enough!
For those who still hold to the custom of making fruitcake every Christmas, I have found a WONDERFUL recipe guaranteed to be the best you ever tried. Be sure to read the directions VERY carefully, then... Enjoy!
Christmas Whiskey Cake
1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
6 large eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
3 cups flour, sifted
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup Bourbon
1 pound pecans, chopped,
3 cups white raisins or candied fruit
1 tsp. nutmeg
AND... A very large bottle of good bourbon whiskey
First, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Assemble all of the ingredients. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink it.
Repeat this step.
Turn on the electric mixer and beat one cup of butter in a large fluffly bowl. Add one teaspoon sugar and cream until beat. Make sure the whiskey is still okay... Try another cup.
Turn off the mixer. Beat six leggs and add to the bowl, then chunk in the cup of dried flute. Mix on the turner. Throw in two quarts of flour. Gradually pour in the cow. Add two dried anything. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey again and check it for tonsistency.
Next sift two cups of salt or something... Who cares?
Check the whiskey again.
Now sift the nutmeg and your nuts. Add one table. And the spoon... Of whiskey, or something. Whatever you find left.
Cour another pup of viskey and spoon your mouth into some.
Grease the oven. Turn the crake pan to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Pour the oven into the batter. Throw the bowl out out the window. Lick the batter off the floor, being careful not to will the sphiskey. Bake 300 minutes at 50 degrees. Finish the bobble of whishky and go to bed.
...Who the heck likes Fruitcake anyway?