Mental Hospital Phone Menu (23)
This is really good 
Excellent Loopy
Distasteful!! Distasteful!!Very funny,
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call
LoopyLinks: MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENUHello, and thank you for calling the State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
I know you mean no harm with this,
,BUT JESUS IM SORE LAUGHING THAT IS CLASS
Oh wow.....you're such a howl.....maybe if you tried living with bi-polar depression you might get a different side of it??......
ah lighten up tonight millionaire- it's ajoke- probably 90% of the people on this site have at least one of the above. If it ofended you that much how come you read all the way down to the bipolar sentance??bet you found the ones before that funny??I'm sorry if you suffer from bi-polar- there are others here that have told that they do. We all have our burdens, and sometimes laughing at them helps
I thought it was funny but you didn't mention leperosy which I have at the moment so here goes..
If you have leperosy please use your nose as all your fingers may have fallen off
Well I have a cold sore and a virus but feels like leperosy
Hi all
If you have leperosy please use your nose as all your fingers may have fallen off
Well I have a cold sore and a virus but feels like leperosy
Hi all very good jampet: ah lighten up tonight millionaire- it's ajoke-
It may not be such a good idea to tell someone with Bi-polar to lighten up, perhaps suggesting an abnormally elevated mood might work better
7
Hi Millionaire, Can't quote you for some reason but replying to your comment... I lived with bi-polar for 8 years with my ex. I have to say, at the time I didn't understand it. It was only after we seperated that the traits etc were explained to me. In one way, I wish I had known sooner. I might have coped better, and maybe things might have worked out. But that is very doubtful...
I got this as an email ages ago, and thought it was hilarious.... So I decided to share it on the site.... I never meant to offend anyone... I know people personally that fall into many of the categories and in the context of the joke know that they would find it funny too....
No offense intended...Maybe I should have posted a warning....
Please take note that it was posted under Jokes and Humor
I got this as an email ages ago, and thought it was hilarious.... So I decided to share it on the site.... I never meant to offend anyone... I know people personally that fall into many of the categories and in the context of the joke know that they would find it funny too....
No offense intended...Maybe I should have posted a warning....
Please take note that it was posted under Jokes and Humor
LoopyLinks: Hi Millionaire, Can't quote you for some reason but replying to your comment... I lived with bi-polar for 8 years with my ex. I have to say, at the time I didn't understand it. It was only after we seperated that the traits etc were explained to me. In one way, I wish I had known sooner. I might have coped better, and maybe things might have worked out. But that is very doubtful...
I got this as an email ages ago, and thought it was hilarious.... So I decided to share it on the site.... I never meant to offend anyone... I know people personally that fall into many of the categories and in the context of the joke know that they would find it funny too....
No offense intended...Maybe I should have posted a warning....
Please take note that it was posted under Jokes and Humor
I got this as an email ages ago, and thought it was hilarious.... So I decided to share it on the site.... I never meant to offend anyone... I know people personally that fall into many of the categories and in the context of the joke know that they would find it funny too....
No offense intended...Maybe I should have posted a warning....
Please take note that it was posted under Jokes and Humor
I have suffered my own fair share of depressive/prychotic and obsessive illness in my life and I find the post hilarious. All jokes tend to be at the expense if one group or another. If I took everything in this world personally, I would crumple in a heep.
Dare I suggest that people stop taking themselves so seriously!
Godsgift: I have suffered my own fair share of depressive/prychotic and obsessive illness in my life and I find the post hilarious. All jokes tend to be at the expense if one group or another. If I took everything in this world personally, I would crumple in a heep.
Dare I suggest that people stop taking themselves so seriously!
Dare I suggest that people stop taking themselves so seriously!
Exactly GG!
How are you keeping?
Have been offline for couple of weeks. A lot of catching up to do....
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Created: Apr 2008
Last Viewed: 4 hrs ago
Last Commented: Sep 2008
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Hello, and thank you for calling the State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.