a happy little family just us three we miss you

by Unknown

Aug 2009 540 Views 1 comments

a happy little family (just us three) we miss you

Author: Unknown

Time moves swiftly while we are consumed with wanting the hours and minutes to pause giving us what we can't have the past to make right
I know I am like a broken record or a cd skipping ever so annoyingly but if I knew then what I know now I would change everything and never would I fight
I would laugh at every joke and make a better lunch
I would try not to argue and make sure the french fries had crunch
there is no question of what I would give
to have one day where you could again live
to hear your voice and see you smile
to get to hold you for awhile
I long to smell your skin
I want to see my friend
I wish this nightmare could end
Jesse I am trying
I am so tired of crying
Each day I pray
help me make it through the day
out of this misery comes light and grace
because I see my daughters face
she reminds me of what I need to be
and just what he means to me
I am tired of faking a smile
I think it's time to float for a while
see where the current takes us next
stop taking everything everything out of context
drift with the breeze
listen to the wind through the trees
find peace quietly deep inside
appreciate the ride
the moment I lost you something broke inside
I cannot count the tears I have cried
there is no recovering from heart break
I don't know how much more loss I can take
so I am holding on tight to what I have
the little girl with the big blue eye's
and now that little girl knows that
everyone dies
a sad thing for a innocent to realize
It is my duty to keep her well
and keep her out of my living hell
so we speak of silence
and spring and sweets
we speak of summer and little bo peep
we live in the moment and take charge of
our lives
after all what else is our choice
I guess it's live or let die
I like to pretend I am alright
but I still can't sleep well at night
I will always miss you
you are a part of me with a love
that was always true
from me to you
jesse,sierra,and mckenzie mae
and that is how it will always stay

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Posted: Aug 2009

About this poem:

This poem is about the loss of my love, Jesse Ray. Jesse died August 30, 2007 he was 31 years old and had a massive heart attack out of nowhere. I spoke to him on his cellphone phone about a hour in a half before he died, he said he had been stung by a bee and had to get off work early be you never know when the last time you talk to someone that this is going to be the last time you hear their voice the conversation plays over and over in my mind and I constantly think what could I have done differently, I should have done something, why didn't I know? it's all my fault! I hate myself! Why? Why? Why? WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?...We have a five year old daughter who was three at the time, it was awful!...Anyway this is therapy for me it has been almost two years and I am just now being able to write about it so I am this is my second piece so bare with me if this is familiar due to my last piece but I have to get it out there. Thanks for being my outlet I am forever thankful. And to those of you who too have lost a loved one my heart goes out to you, be strong and hold on to those good memories let go of the bad ones and remember that they are in a better place in no pain and able to feel all the love there is.