It's typical this season to look out your window
and see a horde of Zombies dragging accross your front
lawn. But fear not. Here are some tried and proven tips
to ward off those pesky Zombies who are only out for blood.
You can thank me later.

1. Work their ego: Tell them you really admire their persistance
and would like to join their group.

2. Appeal to their sense of injustice: Tell them they should have
been the rightful dancers in Michael Jacksons, 'Thriller.'

3.Offer them a Mc Donalds 'Happy Meal' gift certificate and suggest
they take the day off.

4. Tell them it's not you they want but the old hag who lives next
door whose been making fun of them and she has a fat cat they might
be interested in too.

5. Tell them that the IRS Auditors have already been to your house.

6. Appeal to their sense of community: Tell them your mother-in-law
rents the room #666 right accross the hall from them in hell.

7. When they knock, open your front door waring a Richard Nixon mask.

8. Appeal to their sense of style: Tell them they'd attract more
victims if they shopped the latest in Macy's Department Store's Zombie apparrel.

9. Give them real hope: Tell them they fully qualify for Social Security benefits and the latest HMO Health Care Plan.

10. Get a crow bar from the trunk of your car and beat their
freaking brains out!

Thank you: Don't hesitate to call us for your results at Zombie.Dead Guy.com