No you can’t call me Jessie James, he’s my cousin and Frank James told me not to use Jessie’s name again or he would pepper me with a special blend of his favorite buckshot!

Fast Gun JimEee will just have to do!

I wear my silver twin six guns low with a leg tie down and quick draw holsters. I have silver spurs and a large silver buckle with “J” for JimEee engraved on it.

I gunned down one of the Younger brother’s gang because he laughed
when I ordered my favorite drink of sassafras!

I’m ready to oblige a gun fight but I left town at "High Noon" because Gary Coop's wife was in a family way!

His wife is related to Belle Starr.

Belle Starr’s mother is a Hatfield, of the famed Hatfield and McCoy feuding families. They were just a little too many for me to gun down. They hide behind every rock, tree and cranny a’ peeping an a’ shooting!

Those Hatfield & McCoy women are something else!

You shoot one of their men and they just pop another kin from their belly. Their family’s just agrows an agrows!

Now just to chit chat a bit. I’ve heard of that “Cherry Bunny”. In our neck of the town we called her “A Honey of a Bunny”. What do you say? Shall we make this shooting match interesting … say if you win the draw, you get the 100 golden coins offered for me dead or alive and if I win I get the Cherry Bunny?

I know that 100 golden coins is just a trifling to you as we both could shoot holes through their centers, but we have to fight for some prize.

Now so that you recognize me. I will be the cowboy in the center of the dirt road in front of the swinging door saloon, with the “Black Bart” Hat on. I took it away from him as he was robbing a stage coach and seeing I shot him dead between the eyes knew he wouldn’t mind.

My back-up gang will be the Ponderosa gang.
They are the notorious rustler gang who owns the “Bar Double Cross” ranch.

I may bring the “Duke” along. You may have heard of him saying, “OK Pilgrim - Draw”.

I have killed so many men in gunfights that the steers and heifers on the ranch have to watch where they step or they might step on a dead body that I have planted there!

Now if you could only get Tonto and the Long Ranger to come maybe we could sell tickets and make some money!

In any event we can all go down to the “Ok Corral before the fight and you can buy the crowd free beer!

Hey! You can’t take it with you! So you might as well spend it before I plug you and put you out of action.

Doc Holiday says he can’t make the shooting but he will donate a rocking chair to the loser!

Dolly the bar girl sends her regards and hopes that if you get shot, that you won’t put her out of action for too long!

See ya on the streets of Laredo,
and then later on boot hill!