'Twas the night before Christmas and all was not still.
Jingler's rang; car'lers sang ‘Oh, To Men Of Good Will.’
But inside the courthouse, the defendant sat grim,
Took off his fur cap, stroked his chinny chin chin.

He stood 'fore the Judge, a frown creasing his face,
While his Lawyer proceeded to present his case.
"Your Honor", he pleaded, "this man's not a crook.
All he did was his job, which he did by the book."

The Judge glared from the bench, glasses tipped low.
"That's not quite the truth, I have his M.O.
Mister Clause is now in my jurisdiction,
And if I have a say, I'll yea for conviction."

"A quack we have here, in red masquerade,
With a sack filled with toys to complete the charade.
This man has ignored town noise ordinance,
So don't try to plead his law ignorance."

"His list of crimes go on; more than just a few.
Breaking and entering, everyone wants to sue.
Sneaking down chimneys is as bad as it gets.
Though child hanky-panky is worse even yet."

"Please explain the mistletoe, if perchance you can?
What about the orgy, started by this fat man."
The lawyer stepped forward, a tear 'pon his cheek,
"Please, your honor," said he, "please now may I speak?"

"Yes, my client was there, and the tale went like this,
The Missus grabbed his butt, and gave him one big kiss.
A gentleman he was, and kissed her back polite
So if it wasn't right, it was just an oversight."

'Twas the night before Christmas and all was not still.
Jingler's rang; car'lers sang ‘Oh, To Men Of Good Will.’
But inside the courthouse, the defendant sat grim,
Took off his fur cap, stroked his chinny chin chin.

He stood 'fore the Judge, a frown creasing his face,
While his Lawyer proceeded to present his case.
"Your Honor", he pleaded, "this man's not a crook.
All he did was his job, which he did by the book."

The Judge glared from the bench, glasses tipped low.
"That's not quite the truth, I have his M.O.
Mister Clause is now in my jurisdiction,
And if I have a say, I'll yea for conviction."

"A quack we have here, in red masquerade,
With a sack filled with toys to complete the charade.
This man has ignored town noise ordinance,
So don't try to plead his law ignorance."

"His list of crimes go on; more than just a few.
Breaking and entering, everyone wants to sue.
Sneaking down chimneys is as bad as it gets.
Though child hanky-panky is worse even yet."

"Please explain the mistletoe, if perchance you can?
What about the orgy, started by this fat man."
The lawyer stepped forward, a tear 'pon his cheek,
"Please, your honor," said he, "please now may I speak?"