It's not that I loved her,
It was the thought of loving her,
what she represented,
the ideal of the "L" word,
A pure, honest, experience,
That is what I miss,
That's what I wish I had back,
And it will never be there again,
Not the same way,
I just wanted to do it once more,
and this time do it right,
not have to try and try
half a dozen useless attempts at
Some semblance of happiness,
There is no hope...,
It's all gone now...,
Dreams fading as I awake,
Wondering,
Will it ever be it as it was...?