I am the only turkey on the planet that does stand up comedy
Hey bartender! Can I get a drink over here?
Give me a vodka giblets!
Put that on my bill!
Last night I met a couple of chicks
Now that's what I call a turkey sandwich!
Then I found out one of them was pregnant
Boy, did I have egg on my face!
I guess the yolk was on me
I husband is engaged with lascivious sex with a dead turkey
The exhausted husband looks up and says, "How am I doing Honey?"
The wife says, "No, no, no, I told you to pluck the bird!"
I got only one thing to say to all you hungry humans out there
Eat me!