Sitting quietly contemplating my life
at the lows and highs
the ups and downs
the sighs, the sorrows and heartache

the laughter of children, innocent,
not knowing that the ashes of despair
will be there one day for them, like me

Not knowing what the future holds
yet knowing a hurt so deep it won't
disperse

Ashes of dreams turned sour
into nightmares;
yet awake am I
no dream is this

Nor does time assuage the pain
yet move on is what I'm told
so yes, I WILL be bold and
get over heartache's knife
even though it costs my life

For the life I've known is dead
though buried not

A new person then am I
though old as time can be
each memory held dear
yet in a box I'll seal
and won't reveal
how dead these living eyes
now are

I'll laugh, for that is expected
I'll nod, though still rejected
within my tattered soul
for he IS my whole

I will do as I am told
although occasionally
the old me you may see

Just a shadow then am I
a reflection of what was;
distorted as a broken mirror

Yet the Phoenix then am I
gazing back at you
never more then
to be blue
but broken hearted still
it was his will

from the Ashes of despair
you WILL see me there