To be truly happy in a marriage do you have to be willing to overlook/forgive indiscretions occasion (39)
SamSteelTampa, Florida USA1 Threads 1 Polls 16 PostsThere is no excuse for willfully cheating in a marriage. A commitment was made and should be honored.
MADDOG69: Not true. Fidelity is paramount regardless of marriage.
That pretty much sums it up for me. No forgiveness for cheating whether it's "only one" time; whether "it didn't mean anything" and especially when he says "I'm sorry". You wanna play.....you're gonna pay. Now go play with someone else.
montemonte: That pretty much sums it up for me. No forgiveness for cheating whether it's "only one" time; whether "it didn't mean anything" and especially when he says "I'm sorry".
You wanna play.....you're gonna pay. Now go play with someone else.
You wanna play.....you're gonna pay. Now go play with someone else.
Right on
montemonte: No forgiveness for cheating whether it's "only one" time; whether "it didn't mean anything" and especially when he says "I'm sorry".
While I agree in the principal the cheating is bad - relationships do not happen in a vacuum - and forgiveness is just as possible
We humans are just that - human - we make mistakes -
In a Long lasting, unconditional love relationship -depending on the people involved they may experience cheating - and this might also include the ability and the need to forgive -
In my opinion Never say never!
JeanKimberley: While I agree in the principal the cheating is bad - relationships do not happen in a vacuum - and forgiveness is just as possible
We humans are just that - human - we make mistakes -
In a Long lasting, unconditional love relationship -depending on the people involved they may experience cheating - and this might also include the ability and the need to forgive -
In my opinion Never say never!
We humans are just that - human - we make mistakes -
In a Long lasting, unconditional love relationship -depending on the people involved they may experience cheating - and this might also include the ability and the need to forgive -
In my opinion Never say never!
I see yyou mention 'unconditional love' in your post Jean. I am not some-one who sees that is possible in a partnership/relationship. I believe they all have conditions.
My conditions are to be treated with dignity and respect. For me, having present gambling/drug/alcohol issues is a deal-breaker as is being unfaithful....ESPECIALLY if it was something that happened more than once. ONCE would even be an issue for me.
My creed in a relationship is......if you would NOT do/say/act as you are in front of your partner, then you have crossed a line and broken what I see as a sacred trust. If you want to 'sample' elsewhere...then fine. But you tell me first so I can move on without you.
I do NOT see adult love relationships as unconditional. The only ones that can be are those relationships with children or pets as they are not responsible adults.
Looking4Quality: Hi know this might seem a little on sided but I have 8 good friends 6 married with kids and 2 engaged and all of their men have cheated. They all know and are unhappy/suspicious and bitter in life I just don't see the point. I have only ever been 100% faithful in a relationship and I was cheated on in the past too. I know lots of men are faithful but I believe most aren't. I know women can be just as bad but in my experience its worse the other way around. All my girlfriend would never cheat despite being cheated on, one was temped once but did not. Are most men programed to be unfaithful I just think its very sad these days and is getting worse in women also. Anyway rant over!!!
well...before marrying my wife, i seldom stared at women no matter how pretty she is. But after marriage, it looks like i am more tempted to look at other women, and my wife knows that. the funny thing is my wife (i think)thinks that it is not so bad to stare at other women..
To be successful in any relationship, not just marriage, you have to be able to not only forgive but to forget as well. The trick is to live for today and not dwell on the past. The mistakes of the past do not have to be a reflection of the way things will turn out in the here and now. Sometimes it's even necessary to suck up your base emotions and be the bigger person to make things work. When you can do this it's a true sign of maturity.
pisceslady7: I see yyou mention 'unconditional love' in your post Jean. I am not some-one who sees that is possible in a partnership/relationship. I believe they all have conditions.
I do NOT see adult love relationships as unconditional. The only ones that can be are those relationships with children or pets as they are not responsible adults.
I do NOT see adult love relationships as unconditional. The only ones that can be are those relationships with children or pets as they are not responsible adults.
Absolutely - as I stand here now - I would say there is no way I would put up with a cheating man..... of course...... it is a theory since I am not in a relationship now.... it is easy to imagine what we would or would not do -
So that was really my point - it is just a what we think - not what we feel -
unconditional love comes without reason - it doesn't pick and choose as to children (they grow up) or pets (even good dogs can bite)
Unconditional love comes from within ourselves and we have no control over it - and while we as individuals might not forgive the people we know right now in our lives - there are those couples out there that have, and do and forgive each other.
I respect your point of view - and I have had those feelings when I was betrayed - the question would be
if my cheating ex asked me for forgiveness and truly meant it - where would my relationship be now? but he didn't
texasgent222: To be successful in any relationship, not just marriage, you have to be able to not only forgive but to forget as well. The trick is to live for today and not dwell on the past. The mistakes of the past do not have to be a reflection of the way things will turn out in the here and now. Sometimes it's even necessary to suck up your base emotions and be the bigger person to make things work. When you can do this it's a true sign of maturity.
I like this - except the forget part - and I am not sure I want a mature relationship I just want a true trusting relationship - so how would get the trust back?More Threads
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