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wife and parents, who come first? ( Archived) (19)

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  5. wife and parents, who come first?
#0
Apr 30, 2009 5:02 AM CSTwife and parents, who come first?
RebeccaWYR
RebeccaWYRRebeccaWYRShanghai, China7 Threads 4 Polls 92 Posts
RebeccaWYROPShanghai, China92 posts

wife and parents, who come first?(Vote Below)

- (To Vote: select an option above, then press this button)
wife
45
56%
parents
14
17%
both
17
21%
it's hard to tell
5
6%
Total Votes
81
Of course both wife and parents are very important. But if you have to choose one of them, then who come first?
As far as I know, most Chinese men would give top priority to their parents, since filial respect for parents is highly appreciated.
But what do you guys think?which is more important?Pleasing your wife will be above pleasing your parents ?or not?
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#1
Apr 30, 2009 5:12 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
morgan5
morgan5morgan5chelmsford, Essex, England UK87 Threads 8,237 Posts
morgan5chelmsford, Essex, England UK8,237 posts
When we are adults i don't think it's about living your life to please others, i try to live my life to the values i was taught by my parents, because i believe them to be right. But in decisions about my life with my partner i would make it clear, i am an adult and will make my own choices.

But understand it is different in other cultures wine
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#2
Apr 30, 2009 5:18 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria12,414 posts
RebeccaWYR: Of course both wife and parents are very important. But if you have to choose one of them, then who come first?
As far as I know, most Chinese men would give top priority to their parents, since filial respect for parents is highly appreciated.
But what do you guys think?which is more important?Pleasing your wife will be above pleasing your parents ?or not?


Any person in my life, would never burden me with the task of choosing.

I have room for all in my life.

But I can see where you are going with this.
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#3
Apr 30, 2009 5:19 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
jessejess47
jessejess47jessejess47ogdensburg, New York USA35 Threads 1 Polls 3,886 Posts
jessejess47ogdensburg, New York USA3,886 posts
RebeccaWYR: Of course both wife and parents are very important. But if you have to choose one of them, then who come first?
As far as I know, most Chinese men would give top priority to their parents, since filial respect for parents is highly appreciated.
But what do you guys think?which is more important?Pleasing your wife will be above pleasing your parents ?or not?
I did not know it was about PLEASING anyone ,I though it was about loving people.....no wonder I am single I need to do more chooseing...conversing
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#4
Apr 30, 2009 5:22 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
SirenLydia
SirenLydiaSirenLydiaBury St Edmunds, Suffolk, England UK45 Threads 2 Polls 4,138 Posts
SirenLydiaBury St Edmunds, Suffolk, England UK4,138 posts
RebeccaWYR: Of course both wife and parents are very important. But if you have to choose one of them, then who come first?
As far as I know, most Chinese men would give top priority to their parents, since filial respect for parents is highly appreciated.
But what do you guys think?which is more important?Pleasing your wife will be above pleasing your parents ?or not?


Why should anyone come first?
Surely if you are in a committed relationship your partner
would be your major concern and your parents as and when
needed.
Pleasing yourself should be up there too surely?
Also if you have children they should come before all else.

peace devil
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#5
Apr 30, 2009 5:32 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
RebeccaWYR
RebeccaWYRRebeccaWYRShanghai, China7 Threads 4 Polls 92 Posts
RebeccaWYROPShanghai, China92 posts
ok. just ignore the word "please".......the question can be :
who is NO1 in yout life?
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#6
Apr 30, 2009 5:35 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria12,414 posts
RebeccaWYR: ok. just ignore the word "please".......the question can be :
who is NO1 in yout life?


Hi Rebecca

I cannot rank the people I love. I love them all differently, nobody comes first.

There are all #1's to me.

I cannot compartmentalise love, it just does not work that way for me.
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#7
Apr 30, 2009 5:48 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
jessejess47
jessejess47jessejess47ogdensburg, New York USA35 Threads 1 Polls 3,886 Posts
jessejess47ogdensburg, New York USA3,886 posts
Sommerauer71: Hi Rebecca

I cannot rank the people I love. I love them all differently, nobody comes first.

There are all #1's to me.

I cannot compartmentalise love, it just does not work that way for me.
I agree, my heart is like a big house and there is room for everyone in my home...wave
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#8
Apr 30, 2009 5:49 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria12,414 posts
jessejess47: I agree, my heart is like a big house and there is room for everyone in my home...


Hi Jesse.

A full heart has room for more.

I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter, thinking that I would not be able to love the second baby as much as my first.

But you just find the space to love them all.
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#9
Apr 30, 2009 5:51 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
morgan5
morgan5morgan5chelmsford, Essex, England UK87 Threads 8,237 Posts
morgan5chelmsford, Essex, England UK8,237 posts
RebeccaWYR: ok. just ignore the word "please".......the question can be :
who is NO1 in yout life?
There are so many kinds of love that are diffrent you love your parents in a different way to the way you love your partner. But are all equally.

I love the people close to me equally, no one is NO1
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#10
Apr 30, 2009 5:53 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
jessejess47
jessejess47jessejess47ogdensburg, New York USA35 Threads 1 Polls 3,886 Posts
jessejess47ogdensburg, New York USA3,886 posts
Sommerauer71: Hi Jesse.

A full heart has room for more.

I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter, thinking that I would not be able to love the second baby as much as my first.

But you just find the space to love them all.
Exactly , love is huge but it fits into my heart very well ,I hve never found that it was full ever...wave
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#11
Apr 30, 2009 5:54 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
RebeccaWYR
RebeccaWYRRebeccaWYRShanghai, China7 Threads 4 Polls 92 Posts
RebeccaWYROPShanghai, China92 posts
jessejess47: I agree, my heart is like a big house and there is room for everyone in my home...


ya,it's one thing that u have big enough room for everyone, but it's another that the room is equally distributed or not
applause
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#12
Apr 30, 2009 6:10 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
Crystalpistol2
Crystalpistol2Crystalpistol2La Grange Park, Illinois USA21 Threads 383 Posts
Crystalpistol2La Grange Park, Illinois USA383 posts
One's spouse should be most important. I missed events with my family because we would alternate between the holidays with him family and my family.
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#13
Apr 30, 2009 6:20 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
BOBANBOBAN
BOBANBOBANBOBANBOBANPozarevac City, Central Serbia Serbia8 Threads 3,464 Posts
BOBANBOBANPozarevac City, Central Serbia Serbia3,464 posts
RebeccaWYR: Of course both wife and parents are very important. But if you have to choose one of them, then who come first?
As far as I know, most Chinese men would give top priority to their parents, since filial respect for parents is highly appreciated.
But what do you guys think?which is more important?Pleasing your wife will be above pleasing your parents ?or not?


depends of what kinde wife she is grin

ok that was me trying to be funny doh


but you cannoy chose your perents , so all respet to them

and for the women whom i chose to be my wife, mother to my children,

so i guess this anwser didnt helpt at all


(try to look deeper)laugh
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#14
Apr 30, 2009 6:27 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
RebeccaWYR
RebeccaWYRRebeccaWYRShanghai, China7 Threads 4 Polls 92 Posts
RebeccaWYROPShanghai, China92 posts
Crystalpistol2: One's spouse should be most important. I missed events with my family because we would alternate between the holidays with him family and my family.
:
applause i agree

I think after marriage, we should make our spouse the first priority, even if it upsets our mom and dad. If the parents have healthy behavior, they will gracefully step aside and encourage us to make spouse a top priority, becoz they form a new family

On the other hand, i know if I were a mother, it would be hard to accept that one day my little babies would cling to another woman only. But that is just part of being a mom. Mothers of adult children need to respect their kid's partners and back off someday.yay
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#15
Apr 30, 2009 6:52 PM CST wife and parents, who come first?
crazeesmiles
crazeesmilescrazeesmilesFort Lupton, Colorado USA3 Posts
crazeesmilesFort Lupton, Colorado USA3 posts
Once you gain a wife, a parents job is finished and it is time for wifey to take over. Of course love your parents and do you all you can for them. Quite frankly that is a decision a man should never have to make. It would take a very selfish wife to ask him to do so
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#16
Apr 30, 2009 6:54 PM CST wife and parents, who come first?
bradlee
bradleebradleeVegas, Nevada USA2 Threads 109 Posts
bradleeVegas, Nevada USA109 posts
when a couple marries...they form a new family unit. Family comes first!
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#17
Aug 9, 2009 1:57 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
zdeathangelz
zdeathangelzzdeathangelzjacksonville, Florida USA22 Threads 3,743 Posts
zdeathangelzjacksonville, Florida USA3,743 posts
children,wife than parents dunno
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#18
Aug 9, 2009 1:58 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
Infantry10thLI
Infantry10thLIInfantry10thLISmall Town America, New York USA112 Posts
Infantry10thLISmall Town America, New York USA112 posts
RebeccaWYR: Of course both wife and parents are very important. But if you have to choose one of them, then who come first?
As far as I know, most Chinese men would give top priority to their parents, since filial respect for parents is highly appreciated.
But what do you guys think?which is more important?Pleasing your wife will be above pleasing your parents ?or not?



Although I feel it is important to maintain a relationship with both, I would have to say without a doubt the priority should be with your spouse. To me you need to take care of someone that you vowed to do so with, before all else.
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#19
Aug 9, 2009 1:59 AM CST wife and parents, who come first?
avecaim
avecaimavecaimSan Jose, California USA9 Threads 1 Polls 4,084 Posts
avecaimSan Jose, California USA4,084 posts
This is hard for me. My family right now is the most important thing in my life. I am very afraid they might not accept the spouse I might choose.
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This Poll is Archived

This Poll is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Poll get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
Message #318

Stats for this Poll

81 Votes
2,269 Views
19 Comments
by RebeccaWYR (4 Polls)
in Dating & Relating
Created: Apr 2009
Last Viewed: 14 hrs ago
Last Commented: Aug 2009
Last Voted: Jul 2017

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